Friday, January 8, 2010

Just How Real Are You?

When Jennifer Lopez had her fraternal twins at age 40 and swore up and down that they were not the result of IVF, I thought, "Meh, so what if they are?"

I would love it if celebrities were more honest about their use of assisted reproductive technology [ART], but I also get it. I am open about our experiences, but not everyone is. Privacy means different things to different people. My husband, for instance, is extremely close-lipped about our use of IVF. He just doesn't think it's anyone's business but ours. So, whether J-Lo's babies were the result of IVF, IUI, or anything else, didn't really phase me. Her denial of it didn't either. I kind of figure it's her business to share or not to share, and hey, maybe her kids were the results of unassisted conception just as she claims.

Even her opinions on IVF being against God's will didn't bother me. I don't agree with her, but you know what, that's what makes the world go 'round. Her choosing not to do any sort of ART doesn't keep me or anyone else from doing it, and she wasn't offensive in her statements or judgmental of women who use ART.

What does bother me is that she is so "against" assisted reproduction, but she doesn't seem to mind playing the role of a woman who uses it in an upcoming movie. It bothers me that she will make money off of something that she claims not to agree with. She will further her career portraying something that she knows nothing about. It seems rather hypocritical. To be honest, the movie doesn't sound like something I would have seen in the theater anyway, but with her in the starring role, it's not going to even make my Netflix queue.


Geohde said...

I am moderately open.

It depends on how I am asked.

If the asker asks if they are 'natural' I snarl a bit on the inside and say they sure look like it to ME.

If the asker asks if they 'run in the family' and looks at me sideways, I don't snarl, but I also say 'now they do'.

If I'm directly politely asked if the twins were IVF, I answer honestly.

I think that much of it is in the approach of the question, and to be honest if I do not know the asker from a hole in the ground, I don't really see what business it really is of theirs. I think the twin thing skews my views, NOBODY asks if a singeton is IVF in the street.



Katie said...

Oh, yes, I hate the "natural" comment, which we get a lot when people who know our history ask if this one is "natural." Or, "oh, you did this one the "right" way." I strongly dislike that.

Danifred said...

Ahhhh, to be a celebrity...
It annoys me that she's so opinionated about how other people get pregnant.
Really, does it matter in the end anyway?

Mr. Thompson and Me said...

Ahhh to be a celebrity... is right! I have to laugh because this morning's yahoo headline is...

"Jennifer Lopez claims Oscer snub".

I guess what goes around...comes around.

p.s. Katie - I love your blog. Each post brings happiness. Thanks for sharing!

Michele said...

I dont care for her, personally. I tell people up front how our twins were conceived (I dont ovulate, so I took Gonal-F injections and used IUI). We are Catholic and dont agree with IVF, so, if asked, we explain why and why we chose IUI and what we would have done if it hadnt worked to help us get pregnant.

I am always amazed how many people do ask. Never in a million years would I have been so brave as to ask such a personal question to someone! I mean, really, it's no one's business, is it? And I hate the whole "were they natural" question too. I am tempted to say "No, we built them from spare parts we got on sale at Wal-Mart"

Joy@WDDCH said...

Wow, that IS hypocritical. That would be like me playing an atheist in a movie when I'm a Christian in real life. That doesn't fly with me.

Jules said...

Not aware of her upcoming movie but yeah, sounds a bit off if that's what it's about.

I'm in the 'not really anyone's business' category when asked about our girls. Unless I get that the person is another IF'er and just interested or such but I tend to keep the info to a minimum.

Rebecca said...

1st, I'm pretty sure she had IVF...just my opinion.
2nd, I am open about it. If it's someone I don't know, I just say that we had to work really hard for our two.
3rd, if more celebrities would go public about their experiences, maybe ART would be less taboo(and maybe the medical benefits to cover it would get better).