Sunday, May 30, 2010

Still. Sick.

Will is still sick. He has no appetite. He is thirsty and chugging down enormous amounts of pedialyte. I am grateful that he likes it, because I would be getting very concerned about dehydration if he weren't at least taking that. He hasn't vomited since Saturday morning (thank goodness) but he is still having a lot of "other end" troubles. His poor lil' bottom is so raw and red and nothing is working. I haven't had to break out the diaper rash creams in a long time. He never really had bad diaper rash (a couple of times here and there, but usually it resolved quickly), so this is a first. I have given him oatmeal baths and am slathering on the a&d, Aquaphor, and wiping as gently as I can during changes. What would probably work best is to let him run around nakey, but I honestly can't stomach the thought of cleaning up the mess.

M is still sick, too. He is not horribly sick, but his cough is deep and in his chest. The three day weekend was good timing, in that he can have more time to rest.

The "good" part about Will being sick? He is in love with his bed. He is asking. . . no, begging, for naps and bedtime. He took a 3 1/2 hour nap yesterday and woke up later than usual, which would usually mean a later bedtime. He was asking for bed a half hour before we would usually put him down. Today, I attempted to give him lunch, and he took one bite of banana and started crying for "bed, please." Kind of cute and sad all at once.

So, that's what's going on around here, at Casa de Sick. What's happening on your long weekend?

Friday, May 28, 2010

Piles of Laundry Everywhere

I swear that my husband and my child have been consecutively sick for almost six months with perhaps a few days of healthy scattered here and there.

Will woke up this morning acting "off." He is still getting over the fever and cough he had three weeks ago, so I checked his temperature and it was normal, but I could tell he wasn't feeling well. He asked for milk, so I gave him some. He was extremely cuddly and needy as we got ready for our day. I had lots of errands planned for us and he seemed happy to go.

He stood in our front hall, completely dressed, I turned on the alarm and he said in a funny voice, "Mommy?"

And then proceeded to throw up every drop of milk he had consumed. He was covered from coat to shoe. He looked at me with woeful eyes and said, "Uh oh."

I knelt down next to him and said, "Oh, poor baby. You are sick, huh?"

And was rewarded with another upchuck. He started crying and pointing to the mess, saying, "Oh, dear."

I told him "Mama fix it" and stripped him to his diaper. I wiped his face and hands with a warm washcloth and put him on the couch, draped in a large towel. Fortunately, our front hallway is tiled, so it was a relatively easy cleanup as far as these things go.

A few minutes later, I realized that his problems were not just on the upper end of his digestive track, if you know what I mean. So much for the towel I put over him. I am now five loads of laundry into this situation, with no end in sight. He is drinking lots of fluids, so I am not too worried about dehydration, but I just feel so bad for the little guy. He is sick every week it seems.

Of course, M has yet another respiratory infection, or the same one that just cleared up after a 2 week round of antibiotics. He went to work today, but I see the weekend being just one big giant sick fest. I'm just hoping to escape it, especially the stomach flu.

Oh, summer, where are you? It seems as if the only way off of this carousel of sick will be the end of the nasty cold and flu season. Unfortunately, we probably have a good month or more to go.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Shelves, Diggers, and Loving the Moment

I have got to find that camera card adapter. So many cute things to share. Emma's room is really coming along. It is not finished and won't be for a couple of weeks (the chair rail and curtains are on hold for the moment) but the main parts that I was worried about (painting, closet organizer, crib set up) are all done. And it looks amazing! Tonight, I managed to wrangle M into helping me buy this adorable doll bookshelf from craigslist. It looks adorable in the nursery, the colors are perfect.

I now need to amp up the raspberry in her nursery. I have some ideas and just need to track down the supplies. But I also want to see how the raspberry curtains look before I get too raspberry crazy. But how can you go wrong with a gorgeous color like that?!

Oh, and the lady we bought the shelf from? She was moving and eager to get rid of a HUGE box of trucks - mostly diggers and dumptrucks. She offered them to Will and he gladly took them. He has a regular diggerpalooza going on in his playroom.

As I was sitting here, writing this, I got to listen to Will upstairs with his Daddy, taking a tubby. I ask you, is there a cuter sound in the world than your husband and little boy playing together? M's deep voice and Will's squeals of joy and laughter were a treat for me to listen to. I stopped and enjoyed it for a moment.

And now, they have move to the nursery and the monitor is on, so I am "spying" on them talking to each other. Seriously, folks, this is some cute stuff. I have tears in my eyes from listening to it.

We are so blessed.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Bits and Pieces

Well, another week of pregnancy has passed rather uneventfully. I have started to get some Braxton Hicks contractions, but nothing like I had with Will by this point in time. I do think that not working full time outside of the home helps. I feel as if I am working plenty, but though Will keeps me very busy, it is a different kind of work. It's not as stressful and I don't have to be on the road for hours each day.

On Saturday, we went to get Will at my MIL's, which is about an hour away, and also a town I traveled to at least once a week while pregnant. When we returned home, I got out of the car to find my left leg was twice the size of my right. I could feel the fluid building in it as we drove and tried to switch positions, but that's difficult to do at 8 months pregnant. It made me realize that driving was probably the big culprit the last time around as far as how swollen I got. I massaged my calf, elevated it, and by morning, it was back to its normal size. I am sure that as I get bigger and the weather gets warmer, I am in for more swelling, but other than that one episode, I just haven't had any and am still wearing all of my same shoes. With Will, I was in Crocs and slippers by six months.

I am still pretty active, chasing after Will, taking walks, doing everything that I did before I was pregnant. I am still comfortable at night, waking up usually once to go to the bathroom or if Will needs me. The only symptom that is really bothering me is that I have the dreaded acid reflux/heartburn again, which means that I occasionally wake up choking on my stomach acid. That is not fun, but I have just cut out any evening snacks or big meals too late in the day, and it seems to be helping. That, and my friend, Tums. I love the smoothie ones, they are my new best friend.

The nursery is coming along very nicely. I do have pictures, but have lost the card adapter for our computer. Once I find it, I will be sure to post them. I love how it looks and also the feeling of accomplishment from getting it almost done. There are a few details that will have to wait, since I have to have help to get them done. The chair rail probably won't be completed for another couple of weeks, and though it's just a detail, it's going to make a huge difference in the room, so I won't feel that it's really done until we get that finished. One of my girlfriends is coming over tonight to help install the closet organizer in the nursery and that will allow me to finish putting all of her little clothes in order. I can't wait, especially since another friend found out that she is having a boy yesterday, and she already has a little girl that is Will's age. We are going to do a clothes swap, so there will be even more clothes for me to organize!

So, this pregnancy just keeps ticking. . . in some ways, it has flown by. The first trimester was really rough and went sort of slowly, but since then, I just don't know where the days are going. There is a big part of me that wants to just slow everything down, because I feel as if Will's babyhood went by in a flash. I want to put bricks on his head or something to keep him from growing any more!! I'll post more about him and all of his cuteness tomorrow because he just keeps getting more and more fun.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Speaking of Good Food

Thanks for weighing in yesterday. Like I said, I am not going to do anything really drastic for now, just trying to process some of what I am reading and make some healthy changes for our family. For now, I think that will mean purchasing more organic fruits and veggies and washing even our frozen foods. After Emma is born and life settles down a bit, I might try to be a bit more aggressive, but baby steps.

I wanted to post on a fun dinner idea that I first tried a couple of years ago at a friends' dinner party. Have you ever done a raclette grill?

If you haven't, the best way to describe it is a mix of fondue and grilling meats, veggies, and breads. It is yummy. And the best part is, it is relatively healthy. I mean, yes, there is hot, melty cheese involved, but you can increase the veggies and really change it up.

I had gotten a raclette grill (free!) about a year ago and was kind of intimidated by it once I actually had it in my possession. I finally decided to bust that puppy open and buy the ingredients for our own raclette meal. Having never done one before, I probably bought way too much, and I tried different cheese and meats, but I want to pass my experience on to you.

We did a traditional raclette menu. As I said, I bought a lot of cheeses, and wanted to try a variety of them. Raclette cheese is actually pretty expensive, so I also tried two different swiss cheeses and a gruyere. To be honest, the domestic swiss was my favorite, and it happened to be the least expensive option. I also did thin cut, pre-cooked meats so we were only just heating it up. I also sliced up tomatoes, red onions, and green and yellow peppers. I did a baguette of bread and baby yukon golds. When I was slicing up the cheese and veggies, I didn't think there would be enough, but as it is rich, it was plenty.

This dinner would be amazing with wine (I settled for sparkling water and M enjoyed a German beer) and entertaining would be easy with it since you could slice everything in advance and just heat the grill up.

Monday, May 24, 2010

You Are What You Eat

Edited: In reading the comments I have gotten, I just want to emphasize that I am not as concerned about my weight or even what I am eating (a sweet, a veggie, a fruit, a chip) as I am about the quality. Reading about the latest studies potentially linking the effects of pesticides and ADHD has quite honestly scared me. Will is such a fruit/veggie eater, but we rarely buy organic (due to costs), although I do wash all fruits that I give him. This was kind of the nail in the coffin on my laissez faire approach to eating (i.e., not really reading labels, just trusting that something that says it is good for my family really is).

Like most people I know, my relationship with food has been decidedly complicated for a very long time. As a teenager, I was skiiiiiiny. I shopped for size 0 prom dresses that had to be taken in. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it.

When M and I needed birth control prior to getting married, I got the depo shot. I also graduated college, started my first "real" job, and M and I moved in together, which was a lot of life changes all at once . The end result was that I gained thirty pounds in about six months. I was still not what anyone would call fat, but when I looked at pictures of myself, I was shocked to see that I was no longer what anyone would call skinny, either.

I went on my first diet at 22. M and I did Atkins together and it worked like a charm. I lost the thirty pounds and basked in the compliments of coworkers and friends. I learned that I am an excellent dieter and have really good self-discipline when it comes to counting calories or carbs and portion control. The only problem with being such a "good" dieter is that I would sometimes relax, knowing I could just jump on a diet and lose it anytime I wanted, so the scale jumped around a bit throughout my twenties and so did my pant sizes.

Still, I was able to keep a handle on things. I managed my weight with what I called "conscious eating" and moderate exercise until infertility reared its ugly head. Then, between the depression eating, the hormones, "bed rest", and all the rest of the crap that came with it, I jumped up ten pounds and stayed there. I was then blessed with my pregnancy with Will and the thirty pounds that came with. While the weight did come off after he was born and I even managed to lose the ten pounds of infertility weight, I wasn't really where I wanted to be. Then came this pregnancy and the so-far twenty pounds that have come with it.

I felt as if I ate very healthily when I was pregnant with Will. Lots of fruits and veggies, tons of salads and the occasional treat. But I had a strong chocolate aversion and most desserts turned my stomach. I was obsessed with fruits. With Emma? If it isn't swimming in a cream sauce or dipped in some sort of chocolate, I am just not that interested. Carbs are my friends. When I eat a veggie or a fruit, I enjoy it, but I don't crave them the way that I did when I was pregnant with him.

I very rarely cook a meal from scratch anymore with all natural ingredients. While most of the dinners I do cook could be counted as "healthy," they also contain a lot of packaged "help" in the form of pastas, sauces, packages, etc. With a busy toddler running around, it's also very easy to just toss a frozen lasagna into the oven or have M pick up some sort of take out on the way home. Occasionally, this would be fine, but I am finding myself leaning on these convenience foods more and more often. I often feel sluggish and kind of blech. A lot of times, the foods that I stuff in my face don't even sound or look good, they are just there. And I am hungry and lazy.

Three weeks ago, I looked at M and said, "I'm done." And by done, I meant done eating this way, feeling this way, looking this way. For the record, I know that I am not overweight and have gained a healthy amount of weight while pregnant. This is more about how I eat, what I eat, and how it makes me feel. Even if I am "skinny," I don't feel healthy. And now I am teaching a young boy, and soon a young girl, about food and I don't want my relationship with food to be a bad example for them. I want to be able to enjoy food, not for what size it will make me or how many pounds I will gain from eating it (or not eating it), but for the fact that it will nourish my body.

I have been following Mel as she has started her own food journey and finding myself nodding my head in complete agreement with her feelings and experiences. I was thinking that after Emma was born, I would start changing the way we eat, since I felt as if it was just too much to start right now.

And then, this. Have you heard about this? Where I feel as if I might fall down in my own eating sometimes, I have always been vigilant about what Will eats. I make sure that he has lots of fruits and veggies for all meals and snacks. I try to stay away from convenience foods for him, even if that's what M and I are having for dinner. So when I started hearing and then reading about this, I was taken by surprise.

To me, it is just another sign that I need to stop putting off what I know is the right thing to do. I am not an alarmist, but there are just too many red flags that I need to start paying more attention, even with the healthy things, that going into my familys' mouths. I am not going to do anything terribly drastic at this point, but I am going to follow the advice given by our pediatrician and also start reading labels. And after Emma is born, I am definitely going to be getting more aggressive in my approach.

In the meantime, what are your sources for healthy eating and shopping? What are your thoughts on the latest studies? Will it change what you buy and how you feed your family?

Thursday, May 20, 2010

She Works Hard For the. . . Er. . .

Gah, I am exhausted.

Yesterday didn't quite go as planned, as a fatal accident closed I-5. A drive that should have taken an hour (each way) took four (both ways). So, I was hoping to get home by 3, but got home at 6, instead. My girlfriend who was coming to help paint had forogtten a meeting her husband had at 7, so there was no painting done last night. I did clean and organize some things for today and went to bed on the early side, knowing that I wouldn't get much (any) rest today.

I woke up at my usual time this morning, showered and got dressed in my painting garb. My girlfriend came over and we painted all day. We did two colors which will be separated by a chair rail. It looks amazing. I am waiting for it to completely dry and then I will take pictures and add them.

M is on his way home and we are going to set up the crib and changing table and then head to dinner. I am exhausted, but I definitely do not want to cook, and I also want to take advantage of what could possibly be our very last kid-free night for a very long time.

All reports indicate that Will is having a kick-booty time at his Gramma's. He was a little uncertain when I left yesterday, asking to go "Buh-bye?" in a semi-scared way that tore at my heart, but there were no tears. According to my MIL, he was playing and having a great time not five minutes later and all reports since have been good. She is begging to keep him an extra night, which we are considering, but I miss the lil' bugger so much that I am a little hesitant. But an extra night to get things done and possibly sleep in? Well, I'll let you know what we decide, but I'd have to be crazy not to take advantage!!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Is It Just Me?

Does anyone else get this weird mix of feelings when they are about to drop of their kid(s) at Grandma's? Or anywhere else's for that matter?

I am packing up Will's things for a couple of nights stay and I am actually tearing up as I fold his jammies. Our bedtime routine with Will is one of my favorite parts of the day (and not, as one might suspect, because it's bedtime, but just because he's so sweet and it's fun to give him a tubby and rub lotion on this little body and then let him choose his jammies).

On the other hand, yesterday when it was rainy and windy and he was having a tantrum because I made him come inside, I thought, Gah, I can't wait until I drop him off tomorrow.

I also have a TON to get done. I have promised M (and myself) that I will work my @ss off until Thursday when he gets home, but then whatever didn't get done, stays undone until the weekend. As I won't be retrieving Will until Friday afternoon, that gives me a whole night and morning to lounge around and act all pregnant and lazy. As much as I am looking forward to being productive, I am really tired, so I am both excited for and dreading all that must be done in the next day and a half.

I am hoping to be bringing you some significant progress pictures very soon. Right now, it's time for me and my big bag of mixed feelings to go have a (okay, my second) bowl of Cheerios for the morning.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It's Outie Here

I had my 30-week OB appointment yesterday. Everything is looking good. Here are my stats:

Weight gain: 20 lbs. at 30 weeks (I have actually "gained" more, since I lost and gained back a lot of weight in the first and second trimesters, but they only count starting weight - yay!)
Blood pressure: 108/62
Fetal Heart Rate: 156 BPM
Fundal Height: 29 weeks

That was about it. These every two week appointments are kind of boring, which is just the way that I like 'em. As usual, I was the last appointment of the day, so Dr. S was chatty. He gave Will an "exam" and even used the doppler on his belly, too! He was pretty impressed with that and when we had dinner last night, he kept pulling up his shirt and pointing to his baby.

I have some belly pictures on the camera that I'll have to post. Probably the most notable thing for me about this pregnancy is that my belly button has gone outie. Now, I don't know about some of you out there, but for some reason, this really gives me the heebie jeebies. I feel the area right around my belly button getting tighter and itchier, but the button itself is numb. I just am trying not to think about it. With Will, it stayed innie til the bitter end, but I guess it was too much to expect of it this time. I hope it goes back to its former self.

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Big 3-0


I am thirty weeks pregnant today.



I remember at thirty weeks pregnant with Will, looking at M and saying, "Wow, we are really pregnant."

I actually don't feel "as pregnant" this time. I am really carrying Emma so differently, in fact, this pregnancy is so different, and I just don't feel as huge or unwieldy, though I am sure it is coming.

This weekend, I was constantly on my feet. We took Will to an airshow and I walked for three hours in 70+ weather. Then, I came home and finished emptying out the nursery (yay!) and then we went for a walk with Will. I was tired after all of this, but not exhausted and. . . drumroll, please. . . my feet are not even a touch swollen! With Will, I would have been searching for my house slippers to shuffle around in by the second hour into the air show. I also didn't have any contractions, and with Will, I would have been a contracting fool. Emma does sit a lot lower on my bladder, so there were lots of bathroom breaks, but other than that, I felt pretty good.

Will is going to see his Grandma on Wednesday and Thursday, and I will be getting the nursery painted. I hope to have pictures to show you by this weekend! I might not feel "as pregnant" as last time, but she's coming in just eight weeks from today, so time to get this show on the road!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Beauty and the Beholder

Having a toddler keeps you humble.

For example, M was shaving last weekend and Will (who is usually still sleeping when M gets ready for work) toddled into the bathroom, took one look at his shaving-cream-covered Daddy and said excitedly, "Santa!"

But M doesn't get all of the fun. Yesterday, Will and I were snuggling in bed and reading books, and I was rubbing his hair with my hand. He reached up and started petting my cheek and said, "Pretty." My heart about melted. . . until about two seconds later, when our little dog climbed in for a snuggle. Will started petting his head and said, "Pretty."


Thursday, May 13, 2010

Nursery Progress

My self-imposed nursery completion deadline is May 15.

Unless a Nursery Fair magically appears sometime in the next two days, it ain't happening.

We have the nursery mostly emptied, but the closet is still stuffed. I haven't measured where to paint. Heck, I haven't bought the paint.


Now, my self-imposed deadline was just that. . . a date that I would have loved to have had the nursery somewhat done. Granted, my schedule was thrown off a bit by M's cousin's inability to get down here due to his new job. But that was three weeks ago this Saturday and little progress has been made since.

Double ugh.

Part of it has been The Sicks, part of it is that I am just pregnancy-tired, and a lot of it is that I don't have a lot of time chunks to work within. I do my normal housework when Will is napping and still try to have some much-needed downtime for myself during those hours, too. It just doesn't leave a lot of "project time."

My MIL is taking Will for two nights next week (the 19th and 20th), so I think that will be when the majority of the work gets done. I am going to ask M to help me get the room completely emptied this weekend so I can just work on the painting and decorating next week. And hopefully, still have some time to put my (starting to swell) feet up a bit.

So, I missed my deadline, but hopefully I will not be too far behind and can post pictures of some real progress soon!

Oh, and random pregnancy symptom that I didn't have with Will that is driving me crazeeeee this week? The soles of my feet and my palms are itching like mad. There isn't any rash that I can see, though my itching has caused some redness and couple of scratches. Seriously, though, this is driving me nuts. Pregnancy is so weird!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Times Two

Will and I are in hiberation mode. We have not stayed home this much since he was a newborn. I am fighting The Crud and he is a sick lil' pup. His fever is back up to 102 with Tylenol. We took a bath together and he fell asleep leaning against my knee. Every time he sneezes, a boatload of yuck comes out, which is actually a good thing, I think. Usually, when he has a sinus infection, nothing comes out, it all gets plugged up in his head, so I am glad for the snot. He just wants to snuggle, read books, and play with quiet toys. It's actually been kind of nice, alnost a return to the snuggly, cuddly newborn days.

The bad part is that I am remembering what kind of drove me nuts about the newborn days. . . not getting anything done. My house is looking rather cluttered and in need of a good vacuum. It's not a big deal for a few days, but it reminds me how housework really piles up in a relatively short period of time.

I have been having the occasional panicky moments thinking about Emma's impending arrival. I am nervous about my physical recovery and what I will not be able to do to do as far as Will's care. I am anxious about being stretched so thin and making sure that both of my children get what they need from me and that I don't lose my sanity in the process. I am stressed about the piles of laundry, the dishes, the unmade beds, and the unswept floors.

I realize that these are good things to be worried about and I wouldn't trade the chance to be a mom to two for all of the clean houses in the world. I also know that it will only be temporary and that I will gain my equilibrium eventually. It's all worth it, but I am eager for any tips of the more experienced moms and dads out there who can help make it just a bit easier. So, fire away!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Crud and Sore No More

So, I think the crud has gotten me. As I haven't been "sick" (other than a very mild cold or morning sickness) for well over two years, I can't complain much. Will drags so many different viruses home from playdates, the Children's Museum, etc., that it's really a miracle that I have made it this long. M does not have any more time off from work to spare, since he has missed a lot of days this winter with his own sicknesses, and needs to save some for when Emma arrives.

I am hoping that my Super Immunity keeps it to a milder form, since my best friend, M, and Will have all been very sick with this. I took Will to the doctor today because his fever has not been below 101 since Friday (even with Motrin). While it is clear he is sick, there was no strep, ear infection, or anything else that would require antibiotics (thank goodness - we've had more than our share of those). The doctor "prescribed" lots of cuddles and any sort of liquid he wants since his throat, while strep-free, was very raw and red. As usual, his appetite is the first thing to go, so he hasn't been eating anything, but I was pretty sure that chocolate milk would do the trick. So, we stopped on the way home and got him the "prescription," which worked like a charm. He was running around almost like normal when M got home and I just took his temperature and. . . it is only 100.1, which is great news!

I don't believe that I have mentioned that I did get a cortisone shot in my shoulder right before we left on our little Babymoon. The doctor told me that it would hurt more before it got better (it did) and that it would take 7 - 10 days to take effect (it took 7). Can I just tell you, however, that my shoulder feels amazing?!?! It is such a relief. I was seriously worried that I was going to be in pain forever. And I didn't have to take any of the percocet, which is also a relief. I know the cortisone can be just a temporary fix, but I am hopeful that it will be permanent in my case. And all I need to do right now is get through the pregnancy and recovery and if it still does hurt, then I will have more options.

So, I am off to make myself some hot tea with lemon and enjoy my sore-free-shoulder!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Night

Will's fever finally broke this morning, but last night, it was still high. His face was flushed, his eyes a little too bright, and his cough was hacking and intense.

He didn't want to go to bed. He wanted to sleep in Mama Bed, which of course, is a habit we don't want to get into at home. He was exhausted, it was way past his bedtime, and he was sobbing his desire to sleep in our bed. One thing I have learned about parenting a toddler is that if you give in just once, you will pay for it for days. While I wasn't about to let a sick little boy Cry It Out, I also wasn't about to give in on where he was sleeping.

M and I are both sick from the same gunk that has Will under the weather. My throat was sore, my nose plugged, and my cough dry. M's own cough is startling and hardly conducive to settling Will to sleep. This was one night that I really could have used an easy bedtime.

That was not to be. It took several trips in and out of his room, many songs, some extra stories, and finally, just rocking him and stroking his baby face, to get him to sleep. I kissed every inch of his face, wiping away the tears and angst. I rubbed my nose against his and sang his favorite songs to him. His eyes fluttered, his mouth sucked air, and he clung to his stuffed Elmo. His breathing evened. I had tears in my own eyes from watching him be so upset, from wondering if I wasn't just being a really mean mom by not letting the poor sick kiddo sleep in our bed.

I stroked his cheek one last time, nuzzled him close, and whispered, "Love you."

The little voice surprised me (I thought he was asleep!), "I love you, Mommy."

Sometimes, when I least expect it, being a Mom hits me full force. There are moments when I am tired, stressed, sick, whatever, and I almost miss the magic. I am glad that last night wasn't one of those times that I missed out on.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Well, We Had A Good Run. . .

Will and M have been really sick this winter, trading one cold, sinus infection, and flu bug for another.

Last week, right before we left on our trip, I took Will to the pediatrician to follow up on his latest round of antibiotics for a double ear and sinus infection. For the first time since October, Will was "sick-free." No stuffies, no ears, no cough, no nothing. His doctor and I literally did a happy dance at this news. I had almost forgotten what non-sick Will was like and it was a joy to observe it. Most impressive, is his appetite when he is not sick! I have glimpses into his teenaged years.

On Monday, M started coughing (again) and had a fever. Tuesday, Will and I left for my parents' house and I was glad to be escaping the sick. M went to the doctor (finally) on Tuesday night and (finally) got some antibiotics and an inhaler. He stayed home from work on Thursday to try and (finally) get better.

Meanwhile. . .

My parents were in their element this week and Will was happy as a clam. I have written about some of my difficulties with my mom here before, but I have to say, she has really blossomed as a grandmother this past year. She delighted in making his favorite foods and buying him little toys and books at garage sales. My dad put in some of my old Raffi records and danced with him like he used to do with me, many, many years ago and took him to Home Depot to look at "boy" stuff. We took him to a park, out to dinner, and out to breakfast He was really well-behaved the whole week three days and enjoyed sleeping in "Mama bed" at night.

Then, this morning, he woke up with The Look that all parents know. My mom made him fresh blueberry pancakes and he took a bite, then was full. I felt his little forehead and knew there was a fever brewing. Sure enough, it was 101 and climbed to 103 quickly thereafter. The Sicks were back.

He coughed and sneezed the whole way home. His eyes are red and watery and he wanted nothing for lunch, snack, or dinner (except tea. . . have I mentioned that Will loves tea - decaf with milk. He calls it "Mama Tea".). M was glad to have his little guy home and they snuggled on the couch, my two Sickies, until it was time for Will to go to bed.

I am hoping that both of my men are feeling better soon. . . and that I escape this latest round.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

How'd It Go?

So, I was pretty concerned about how Will would do with his grandma while M and I went on our little Babymoon. Like most things, I worried way too much. He was just fine.

In her bid to make him more comfortable at her house, my MIL had purchased a used swingset with a baby swing off craigslist and a three year old crib from a friend. She had also made all of his favorite foods and bought him some new books. He walked in to her house on Saturday morning, saw the backyard, and the swingset. . . and we might as well have just taken off right then and there.

Uncertain, we stuck around for awhile. We unpacked his bags, told my MIL where everything was, explained some of the daily medications he has to take, and then sat around in the backyard while he "settled in" (which, to be honest, was more for us than for him). When we felt that "he" had been there long enough to feel comfortable, we told him we were leaving, expecting the usual tears and red-faced protests that accompany our departure.

His reaction?

He was upset. . . because he thought we were going to take him with us. He wouldn't even hug us goodbye for fear we'd snatch him from this swingset-gramma's-meatloaf-cupcakes-new-books-haven. We exchanged glances at this unexpected turn of events. . . and hightailed it out of there!

It was heavenly to leave without the usual tears. It was good to get away without feeling a speck of guilt. I think this is the first guilt-free time that I have ever left him.

My MIL sporadically updated us with texts and pictures throughout the weekend and it was plain to see, Will wasn't missing us at all. He didn't take naps for Gramma (she didn't even try to put him down), but slept for twelve hours at night. He ate so much that instead of his usual one morning dirty diaper, he had three! Each text boasted of a new thing he was doing, eating, saying, or playing. It was clear that both of them were having a fantastic time, which made our time more fun, too!

When we returned today, refreshed after two days of napping, eating, long (not too) warm baths, and t.v. watching, he was glad to see us, but perfectly content to continue playing in the backyard. He did get a little nervous when we started packing up his things and he was very ready to get into the car, but my MIL said the first time he cried all weekend was when we returned. He conked out thirty seconds from her house, tired from his weekend of fun.

Things went so well that my MIL wants to take him one weekend a month from now on. Though we can't always afford to go away, we only live an hour away, so it will still be nice to have some couple time at home, and when Emma gets here in July, some time with just her. It is also my MIL's dream come true to have a close relationship with Will, so it's not just selfish reasons that will have us packing him up for a weekend at Gramma's. I couldn't be more pleased with how it all went.

Monday, May 3, 2010

My Project What IF: Step One

In January 2006, I was told I hadn't even been pregnant, despite the 6 pregnancy tests tucked in a shoe box and the two weeks of bliss that followed those second lines. I was confused. I consider myself a relatively smart woman, but being told that I wasn't pregnant threw me for a loop. I turned to the internet and books to help determine exactly what had happened. What the nurse meant was that I had experienced a chemical pregnancy.

I had three more chemical pregnancies that year. I got "used to them" and how things would go, if you can get used to your babies dying one right after the other. But at least the mystery and fear of the physical ramifications was easier to bear. I knew how much blood was normal, what passing the "products of conception" felt like, what to take to ease my cramps.

Then, I had a missed miscarriage in December 2006 and I was back at square one, googling what to expect from my D&C and the recovery. I wished there was someone that I could call, someone who had been through this, someone who could help me nagivate the murky waters.

It was at that time that I told my husband that women needed to be given something when they found out that they were miscarrying (whether a chemical pregnancy, missed miscarriage, active micarriage). I wanted to give them the resources it took me months and years to find.

I would ideally like to have these packets to be given to women at either the ER or their doctor's office. This will all be self-funded, which means that I can't spend a ton of money. I would rather make a phamplet that can refer women to different resources and be able to distribute it widely, rather than make expensive packets that I would only be able to do a few of. Eventually, I would love to be able to give out memory boxes, bracelets, books on loss, etc., but I would have to find a way to fundraise for that. For right now, making something like this will be manageable.

So, here is where you come in. What resources (websites, books, poetries, ways to memorialize your babies, songs, etc.) were helpful to you when you were miscarrying? What information do you wish you had been given along with the bad news that your baby had died or was dying?

For more information, check out my other post on Project What IF. Thank you for your input and support.