In January 2006, I was told I hadn't even been pregnant, despite the 6 pregnancy tests tucked in a shoe box and the two weeks of bliss that followed those second lines. I was confused. I consider myself a relatively smart woman, but being told that I wasn't pregnant threw me for a loop. I turned to the internet and books to help determine exactly what had happened. What the nurse meant was that I had experienced a chemical pregnancy.
I had three more chemical pregnancies that year. I got "used to them" and how things would go, if you can get used to your babies dying one right after the other. But at least the mystery and fear of the physical ramifications was easier to bear. I knew how much blood was normal, what passing the "products of conception" felt like, what to take to ease my cramps.
Then, I had a missed miscarriage in December 2006 and I was back at square one, googling what to expect from my D&C and the recovery. I wished there was someone that I could call, someone who had been through this, someone who could help me nagivate the murky waters.
It was at that time that I told my husband that women needed to be given something when they found out that they were miscarrying (whether a chemical pregnancy, missed miscarriage, active micarriage). I wanted to give them the resources it took me months and years to find.
I would ideally like to have these packets to be given to women at either the ER or their doctor's office. This will all be self-funded, which means that I can't spend a ton of money. I would rather make a phamplet that can refer women to different resources and be able to distribute it widely, rather than make expensive packets that I would only be able to do a few of. Eventually, I would love to be able to give out memory boxes, bracelets, books on loss, etc., but I would have to find a way to fundraise for that. For right now, making something like this will be manageable.
So, here is where you come in. What resources (websites, books, poetries, ways to memorialize your babies, songs, etc.) were helpful to you when you were miscarrying? What information do you wish you had been given along with the bad news that your baby had died or was dying?
For more information, check out my other post on Project What IF. Thank you for your input and support.