Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Belly Button Lint

The last few days have been extremely stressful for me. I know that I created a lot of (all of) the stress myself, but I still think it's high time that I took a look at the lighter side of pregnancy for a bit.

What I am about to share is so extremely disgusting that you might not want to read it. I'm serious. Absolutely revolting. In fact, don't read it. Go to someone else's blog. Please

Why are you still reading?

Okay, you've been warned. . .

So, we have two dogs. Both are shedders extraordinaire. I love them, but hate their fur. It gets everywhere. And I do mean everywhere.

I am used to picking the little white and black furs out of my belly button. Sometimes, they really get wedged in there and I have to use tweezers. Ewww, gross, and it's only getting worse.

The other night, I was sitting in my favorite comfy chair, positioned in such a way that I could see my belly button pretty clearly. I realized that it was starting to widen a little bit and change shape. Intrigued, I prodded at it and realized that there was a clump of what looked to be five or six white furs sticking out. I went to pull them out and met some resistance. I tugged harder and. . . really, you should stop reading.

I pulled out a clump of what can only be described as Belly Button Goo attached to those five hairs. And it was stinky, too, kind of the smell that you would get after leaving a bandaid on too long. I was a little fascinated by the fact that these hairs might have been stuck in this previously unexposed region for years. Only due to the fact that my changing stomach is now forcing them outward was I able to finally clean what could be years of fur and goo out of my lint trap. I even used a little rubbing alcohol to make sure it was really clean.

My belly button is now fresh as a daisy.

My husband is disgusted. Especially after he thought about what might be lurking deep within his own button. And now you'll be thinking about it, too.

25 comments:

Kathy V said...

Well that sounds pleasant! (Just kidding but apparently my raging hormones have caused me to become more sarcastic and funny.) We have a shedder too. Her hair sticks to everything but her. Maybe I should check my belly button for white and black fur clumps with gooey stuff too.

Mel said...

LOL
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I am laughing so hard I might need oxygen.
This is too funny. Gross, but limitlessly funny.
Thanks for sharing, Katie!

alison said...

Ewwwww! That is icky, but oh, so funny!! I'm glad you never had any serious complications from the belly button goo. I know I will be watching my own belly button very closely from now on!

Tracy said...

Oh.MY.God.

I fully plan to clean my belly button out with a q-tip and some alcohol when I get home.

Gus is a shedder, too, but I've never found any of his hair in my BB before. Of course, I haven't exactly looked.

Fertilized said...

Hahahahahaha I am still laughing. Oh Katie, too funny!

Yoka said...

Mmmm, can't imagine how nice that smelled and looked. At least now your belly button is clean... :-)

Jen said...

Ewww! My belly button is quite the cavern. I'm a bit concerned about what might be found down there. This whole belly button thing kind of freaks me out.

Freyja said...

My belly button is only half innie / half outie so I can clean it pretty well. But I am wondering about your DH now... LOL

Dreams do come true said...

Wow.. yeah, gross is a good description!!! But, definitely got me in tears from laughter! I'm going to be cleaning my belly button a lot harder than usual now! Ewww! :D

Waiting Amy said...

You.Are.GOOFY.

gracechild said...

that's really eeeww! i don't have a dog but now you gonna make me check the previously unchecked regions for previously unidentified inhabitants :)

My Reality said...

I am not sure if I should laugh or get grossed out!

I used to never have to worry about my belly button being clean. Our beloved dog who we lost last year was a belly button licker. Every morning and every night, he licked my belly button clean. You couldn't stop him, he would move my shirt out of the way. It got easier to just let him instead of fight it, because he would dig at the covers until her got his fix. Now that he is gone, I have been concerned about the state of my belly button. I don't have a regular cleaner anymore. I now use a q-tip!

BrownEyedGirl said...

Great blog! lol. I can probably beat ya on the grossness factor currently as my button is full of puss thanks to Lap infection. LOL. Your belly button sounds oddly a lot like what my dear husband deals with on occasion.

Glad you now have a fresher then fresh button! :D

soapchick said...

Ooh gross! I think I'll have to check my belly button when I get in the shower....but I really don't want to know what's in there! ha ha. Glad yours is now super clean!

Adriane said...

That really was disgusting! Very funny. I'm hoping the hairs were new and not there for years! :-)

Geohde said...

You're encountering the belly button phenomenon, too!!!

Great minds think alike, or perhaps expanding uterii.

:)

J

Anonymous said...

OMG, after reading that post, I checked my wife's bellybutton and lo-behold, what is looking back at me. It look dark, brownish grey in color. Like an eye so to sepak as the outter ring of her button button surrounded it. I managed to pull it out and, without describing it, it made me gag and it takes alot for my gag reflex to kick in. It was long and NASTY, and it turned white as it got to the bottom of it. I suggest to check that inner space within all of us.

Anonymous said...

OMG, after reading that post, I checked my wife's bellybutton and lo-behold, what is looking back at me. It look dark, brownish grey in color. Like an eye so to sepak as the outter ring of her belly button surrounded it. I managed to pull it out and, without describing it, it made me gag and it takes alot for my gag reflex to kick in. It was long and NASTY, and it turned white as it got to the bottom of it, it was about 3/4 inches in length. I suggest to check that inner space within all of us.

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