Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Things People Say

Turns out that there are a lot of insensitive people out there. You'd think I would have learned that during the miscarriages. People just don't know what to say about loss. I get that. I've been there, on the other end of the phone or in person, when someone tells you bad news and your mind just blanks.

However, what I don't get is what is it about pregnancy that makes usually levelheaded people apt to say the darndest things.

These are some things that have been said to me in the past few weeks (since I have been showing). The italics are things that I wish I had the guts to say, but I think I managed an awkward smile.

"Your face is getting so fat*." Yeah, I'm pregnant. What's your excuse?

"You're huge*." Bite me.

"It must be a girl, because your thighs are so wide*." Again, bite me.

"Oh, good, you're still pregnant. I'm glad your body didn't kill this one off." No, but my body is about to kill you off.

"You did IVF, right? My best friend's sister's aunt's daughter did that and she had sextuplets. Are you sure there is just one in there? I'll bet it's at least twins." Well, after twelve ultrasounds, we're pretty sure it's just the one. . .

"Wow, [insert weeks along here]? Are you sure? You're huge." Bite me*.

*For the record, my doctor assures me that I am measuring perfectly, but as I have a foreward tilting uterus, I show faster and larger than some girls. I have not gained any undue amounts of weight and I was not overweight to begin with.

18 comments:

Jen said...

Wow! And you didn't hit any of these people? You deserve some kind of medal!

Mel said...

sheesh, what's up, rude?
you are far sweeter than i am!

Baby Steps to Baby Shoes said...

You must perfect the condescending sneer to go with the "I must not have heard you correctly b/c I am sure you didn't just say/ask . . ."

Antigone said...

Most importantly, your baby is healthy and thriving.

My MIL used to say to me during the last pregnancy, "Don't forget you are NOT eating for two." I wanted to throw something at her.

Tracy said...

I cannot believe that people are saying those types of things to you! Shocking.

So, am I the first to ask? Do we get a belly shot? Now I'm curious to see just how "huge" you are (and I can say that, because I AM huge.)

Laura said...

Yikes! I don't know how you haven't killed anyone yet! I

Fertilized said...

I have been asked about the fertility question and am i sure there is only one because i am huge and wide .... this week alone i think i was called wide .. about 5 times. And i am carrying my wieght like i am having a girl ..fat face and round thighs ...


aren't people LOVELY

Kathy said...

It amazes me the things that come out of some people's mouths... I am sorry you have deal w/ that. (((HUGS)))

PS - I voted in your poll already, but I think you are having a girl! ;) Can't wait to find out! :)

Polka Dot said...

Next time, throw a reply along the lines of "are you sure your parents taught you manners?" or "are you sure people don't think you're rude?". Nice? No. But no worse than their ignorant comments.

Kim said...

I agree, people suck. But really, love your big belly! I'm not showing at all (well, with clothes on)... and I wasn't skinny but not fat either in the first place. So no one knows that I'm pregnant outside of 'my circle'... and I kind of want that attention now that I finally am. I just look like I've gained a few pounds, but no 'belly'. :O(

Anns said...

I just took a look at the memorials to the side of your page and I am in tears...... how sad what all those other ladies have endured. Really makes me feel quite silly about my own "problems".......

Left to ponder through the night..

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

I'm so with you on this post. Some people are ridiculously annoying and rude. I just try to tune them out and look at them like they are crazy. HUGS!

Geohde said...

It never ceases to amaze me the shite people think they can get away saying to a pregnant lady. I mean, honestly!

J

Waiting Amy said...

Wow, one of those was really unbelievable! People are dumb!

Ally said...

Oh. My. Word. I find it appalling and horrifying that there are actual human beings out there who would look you in the face and say those things *out loud* to you. I don't even know how I would respond to that. I'm sure I would have the perfect comeback....10 minutes after the jerkface walked away. Yikes!

JuliaS said...

It got so bad the last time I was pg I contemplated making up a tshirt that read:

1. Yes, I know.
2. Only one.
3. I'm sure.
4. Not soon enough.

My favorite was the door greeter at Walmart who couldn't seem to remember that we'd had this conversation more than few times already. She would see me and ask the same thing every time "How many kids you got now? You're getting fixed aren't you?"

Gee, I didn't know I was broken - but thanks for asking . .

Aside from the fact that the broken thing kind of did dredge up a whole host of latent issues from past miscarriages and fertility struggles.

Boundaries people! It's like borders without manners . . .

Nurse Lochia said...

People can be so stupid. Tell them to kiss your a#s. Sometimes it seems like people think its a compliment to tell you how big you look. So ridiculous!

Freyja said...

I'm the kind of person who probably WOULD say those italicized things. Kudos to you for maintaining a polite decorum!