I have no motivation lately to do anything that doesn't involve this pregnancy, this baby. I have heard this from other preggers and it is so true. Really, I just want to sit on my couch, rub my growing belly, and eat, nap, or watch t.v., in no particular order. I hate the fact that things are expected of me. Things like work, cleaning my house, doing laundry, etc. Well, I don't hate it, but those things seem so. . . unimportant compared to what is going on.
My husband has been a bit grumpy about this preoccupation of mine, since it falls to him to do a lot of the things that I don't feel like taking care of. He didn't mind before, when it was truly that I was too sick, too lightheaded, too exhausted to do things. Lately, when I do have energy, I use it for what I consider to be the essential activities: my prenatal workout, or sorting through the bag of gender-neutral baby clothing that we got from a friend, or searching online for the perfect nursery furniture. Meanwhile, laundry piles up, our tax documents sit neglected by the computer, and dust bunnies the size of my cat roll by.
I am not proud of this behavior, yet I still try to justify it. "Well, all pregnant women are focused on the pregnancies." Or perhaps, "I've waited so long for this, I deserve to enjoy every minute."
And while that is true. . . I need to kick it into a higher gear. I need to remember that the world extends beyond my abdomen. This baby is important, but there are things that have to be done. Just as the world didn't stop turning when I lost my babies, it doesn't stop turning when one is coming.
I just wish it would.
P.S. Please don't hate me for this post. I don't really like my lazy attitude myself, but it is where I find myself lately. Even just writing it has inspired me to go get my act together, so it served some sort of purpose.