Monday, March 3, 2008

Self-Indulgent Post

I have no motivation lately to do anything that doesn't involve this pregnancy, this baby. I have heard this from other preggers and it is so true. Really, I just want to sit on my couch, rub my growing belly, and eat, nap, or watch t.v., in no particular order. I hate the fact that things are expected of me. Things like work, cleaning my house, doing laundry, etc. Well, I don't hate it, but those things seem so. . . unimportant compared to what is going on.

My husband has been a bit grumpy about this preoccupation of mine, since it falls to him to do a lot of the things that I don't feel like taking care of. He didn't mind before, when it was truly that I was too sick, too lightheaded, too exhausted to do things. Lately, when I do have energy, I use it for what I consider to be the essential activities: my prenatal workout, or sorting through the bag of gender-neutral baby clothing that we got from a friend, or searching online for the perfect nursery furniture. Meanwhile, laundry piles up, our tax documents sit neglected by the computer, and dust bunnies the size of my cat roll by.

I am not proud of this behavior, yet I still try to justify it. "Well, all pregnant women are focused on the pregnancies." Or perhaps, "I've waited so long for this, I deserve to enjoy every minute."

And while that is true. . . I need to kick it into a higher gear. I need to remember that the world extends beyond my abdomen. This baby is important, but there are things that have to be done. Just as the world didn't stop turning when I lost my babies, it doesn't stop turning when one is coming.

I just wish it would.

P.S. Please don't hate me for this post. I don't really like my lazy attitude myself, but it is where I find myself lately. Even just writing it has inspired me to go get my act together, so it served some sort of purpose.

6 comments:

Fertilize Me said...

Oh HUNNY - Count me right in with you! I have neglected the dust rags and vacuum cleaner far too long. I need to get my butt in gear. You are not the only lone ranger when it comes to this at all

infertility just sucks said...

I'm pretty much super lazy too. Laundry? Pffft! I'll just buy new pants.

The husband has been more than generous with pitching in. But yeah - the naps and general laziness is really getting to a serious level in our house.

JuliaS said...

My brother took a health class in college and reported that they said a woman expends the same amount of energy per day being pregnant that she would climbing a mountain. So, every day it is like climbing a mountain. No wonder you are tired and preoccupied.

Keep climbing that mountain honey!

Tracy said...

I am right there with you! NORMAL. Scott told me last week that he was concerned about my "balance" and wanted to make sure I was focusing on my non-pregnancy-related interests, too.

Right now there is nothing more important than being pregnant. Nothing. And that's okay.

Jen said...

OMG...did I write this? That is exactly how I feel these days. I don't want to work at work. I want to think about being pregnant. Then I get home and want to sit around thinking about being pregnant. Meanwhile the house is a complete pig pen and DH is not looking so happy about it.

Freyja said...

Good or bad, right or wrong, I'm pretty sure this is normal.