Sunday, February 14, 2010

What Flavor Do You Want?

Now that the anatomy scan is just around the corner (one week away - eek!), we are getting a lot of questions involving the gender. I swear, I do not remember this much hoopla about it with Will. I think because we already have a boy, people have their guesses about what we'd "prefer."

To discuss this properly, I have to make a teeny, tiny, somewhat horrible confession: I was a teeny, tiny bit disappointed when I found out that Will was a boy. There were many reasons for this. The first and foremost reason was that I was concerned that I would not be a good mother for a boy. I am a bit of a girly-girl myself and honestly don't understand boys a good deal of the time. I am not sports-minded, in fact, am pretty clumsy and uncoordinated. Although I enjoy going to a sporting event, it is far more for the people-watching and food-eating than for the actual game itself. I was afraid that, after everything we'd been through to have him, I would be especially over-cautious and over-protective and turn him into a sissy Mama's Boy. The second reason for my trepidation was that my mom had made her desire for a girl very clear and I wasn't really looking forward to listening to her whine about it.

I had been having some inklings that Will was a boy for about a month prior to our anatomy scan. This was probably very much encouraged by our 13-week ultrasound, where the tech thought she saw boy bits, though she quickly said it was far too early to tell. Looking over the video from that ultrasound, there was definitely something in our child's netherregions, but our unpracticed eye couldn't glean the difference between cord, legs, or anything else. So, I was prepared for the news that our little one was a Little Man, yet I still felt a tug of. . . something when it was confirmed.

When I use the word disappointment, it's not even the right word. I was thrilled he was healthy and I wasn't unhappy he was a boy, in fact within a day of learning of his gender, I was all Team Blue! But there were some fantasies that I had to let go of that involved pedicures, happily baking cookies together (yes, I do think boys can and should do that, too!), and watching my daughter try on wedding dresses. I remember thinking, "Well, if we have another one, I hope that one is a girl." Then I moved on.

So, I figured if we were ever blessed with another child, I would have a strong preference for a girl.
Then, Will was born. And I wouldn't trade him for a million girls in a million super-sweet little smocks with ruffled diaper covers underneath. Cross my heart. He is perfect and I love having a son.

Little girls are wonderful. Many of my friends have little girls and they are adorable. Their clothes kill me with a cuteness that bittle boy clothes just can't achieve. If this child was a little girl, I would be thrilled.

But. . . oh, man, little boys are incredible. They are sweet, they are percocious, they are just. . . .sigh. And what fun it would be for Will to have a brother, a pal, a comrade, someone to be a boy with. My husband has a sister and they weren't that close as kids, with widely varied interests. I am sure they played together occasionally, but all of their childhood stories are of fighting and my MIL backs this up saying she sometimes wondered if they would hate each other as adults after all of the drama they had as kids.

My sister and I, on the other hand, well, we aren't super-close now, but we played together very well as children and got along until we were in our teens (and were forced to share a bedroom, but that's another story). And even now, I would say we have a decent relationship, she is a great auntie, we just are kind of in different places right now as I am fully entrenched in the MotherHood and she is newly married and she and her husband are bound and determined not to have children (a stance she has been consistent on since she was 16, so I really don't think she is going to change her mind).

Of course, we ultimately don't have a preference. We just want a healthy baby, but of course, everyone just wants a healthy baby. Underneath that, I think my husband would prefer another boy, because he keeps mentioning how much easier it would be. He also worries that he wouldn't be a good father to a girl, that he would be the overprotective one, running background checks on potential prom dates and cleaning the proverbial shotgun when they pick her up for the dance.

Me. . . well, if I had to say. . . gah, I really don't have a preference this time. Scouts honor. A little girl would be lovely and I still have those gauzy visions of pedicures and wedding dresses in the recesses of my mind. But another little boy would be wonderful, too, and there are lots of things that I look forward to doing with my son (including not having to pay for the wedding dress - ha, ha!).

Of course, based on the way I am carrying the baby (exactly how I carried Will - must mean another boy!) and the fact that I was super-sick with this pregnancy (much sicker than with Will - must mean it's a girl!), everyone seems to have an opinion. I crave fruits (did with Will, too), sour things like Sweettarts (also with Will), orange juice (could take it or leave it with Will), and don't mind chocolate (with Will, I couldn't stand to even smell chocolate). So, you see, there are some similarities and differences in the two pregnancies, making it difficult to wager a guess.

So, what do you lovely people think we are having? I am putting up a poll for a few days so go make your best guess. If you are really brave, leave a comment with your guess and reason(s) why in the comment secton. We find out February 22nd what flavor of baby Sweetpea is, so check back to see if you are correct!


HereWeGoAJen said...

I guessed girl. And let me tell you my very scientific reasons why. Ever since I had Elizabeth, I use all her stats when I play baby guessing games because I figure if I am consistent, I'll be right at least part of the time. :)

Nancy Jones said...

Just to add to the confusion, I carried both my kids exactly the same (low and all out front), didn't have any morning sickness at all with either, and felt the same both times. My first was a boy, my second a girl!

Good luck at the scan next week!

Nancy in Redmond, WA

mummydr said...

I too sort of wanted a girl first time and was a little disappointed to be having a boy, but adored being a boy mom so much when I was pregnant with number 2 I wanted another boy, which I got. My DH wanted a girl both times! My pregnancies were really different so that was no help.
I'm going to guess boy for you but I'm usually wrong.

K @ ourboxofrain said...

I think P and I both wanted a little boy the first time (I am definitely more a tomboy than a girly-girl), but, obviously, would have been happy with either. And we have both loved being parents to a little boy. This time, I think P want another boy ("we're familiar with this model" was his exact comment). And I'll admit that I probably also have a slight preference for another boy, but the preference is slight and I'd be thrilled to have a little girl. (As you noted, the clothes are so dang cute!)

I'm going to give some thought to what I think you're having. Hmm.... Also, if it's at all reassuring, my brother and I were very close growing up and remain very close today. I think it's more personality and life experience than sex that bears on sibling closeness.

Anonymous said...

I guessed girl. I have trouble thinking of a baby called Sweetpea as a boy because that scent is so girly, and because it's my grandma's favorite so it always makes me think of her. Also, for some reason, I always picture Will kissing a baby sister's head when I think about you guys.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking you're having a girl! But I could be wrong as I was wrong with Jasper. I was convinced she was a boy and she's definitely not. G was a bit sad, but I'm not though a boy would've been fun too. :)

Sophie said...

You sure know how to articulate those gender nuances!! I was convinced I was having a boy and had to think fast when we learned it was a girl, then with #2 I was maybe hoping for another girl- for the same reasons you may want a boy. I got a boy instead, and am thrilled of course. Your family is and will be completely unique, completely special, and completely perfect! (but I do have a feeling- girl is my vote!)

Red said...

Oh I could have written this post. We didn't find out Champ's gender until his birth and of course as soon as you are holding your baby thereis no room for dissapointment at all. However, until he was born I thought I would have been dissapointed as I really wanted a girl. Now, I don't care if I only ever have boys! Boys are awesome (except the clothes as you point out!).

I would have to guess 'boy' with you. Just my gut feel really, but a little bit based on your cravings too. Looking forward to finding out!

Rebecca said...

What flavor? That's awesome! Boys are their own little species and are wonderful!!! It's not disappointment, it's an adjustment in your'll love whatever flavor it is!

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Mazzy said...

Girl! I am sure boys are fabulous, too, but I think every mom needs some princess and hair bows in their world.

Beth said...

I voted boy, but I am wrong about 95% of the time when it comes to guessing genders (even with my own!), so don't give my vote too much weight :).

I honestly can picture you with either Flavor, knowing he or she will be just perfect for you, M & Will.

Looking forward to hearing about all being well!

Jen said...

I say boy, just because everybody I know these days who is having a second is having 2 of a kind.

Everybody assumed that I wanted a boy and now that we know it is another girl the question is are you going to try for a boy after this??? I hate that question. I really feel that with a second it was going to be great either way because if it is the same gender there is a easy playmate (I too had a sister close in age) and if it is the opposite gender you get one of each. I think DH would have liked a boy, but in the long run he'll be a fabulous and happy dad to two girls.

Adriane said...

I really think it's a girl!

Sunny said...

I am SO bad at guessing other people's babies. So whatever I guess, you'll have the opposite. And I guess...

... boy.

There you go.

Michele said...

I'll go team pink!

Debby said...

i feel the same way this time with really not caring what it is this time. I really wanted to girl last time and was more than a little disappointed when they said boy. makes me feel bad now cause i LOVE my little boy and would LOVE to have another one.

I voted "girl" in the poll...but if I had to bet money on it, I'd say boy.

kim said...

When I had one of each my mom asked why I would have another? I said "I'm not trying for a boy or a girl I'd just love another baby." That said, at 18 weeks my Dr. said "girl" I started imagining all the things we'd do with this new sister, at 20 weeks boy parts popped into view. I was thrilled with the prospect of a son, but it took me a good day to accept it. I had been bonding with the baby as a girl. Needless to say I wouldn't change a thing. He's so awesome!

Prayers to you that everything goes well with reports of a healthy brother or sister for Will!