Sunday, February 28, 2010


I wrote too soon.

My sister and I have what I would call a "decent" relationship, peppered with the usual sibling drama here and there. We had a great weekend and then. . .

This morning, she followed us to church, since she was planning on leaving right afterward and didn't want to come back north. On the way there, we noticed how slowly she was driving. M was barely going 60 mph and she was quite a ways back. We kept slowing down to let her catch up, but she kept falling behind. When we got to church, she barreled out of her car, brow furrowed, snapping angrily, "Hey, speed racer." And made a few more comments about how she'd had to go 80 - 85 mph on the freeway and didn't want to get pulled over just to keep up with us. I suggested she might have her speedometer checked out since I knew we weren't going that fast (the speed limit is 60 and we weren't even keeping up with the flow of traffic) and was actually concerned something might be amiss with her car. I thought that was the end of it.

We got Will settled in the nursery, got coffee, and went to go sit down. Our good friends met us in the atrium and we all went in together. There was a bit of confusion as we got our seats (they had changed the chair arrangement) and then we were all seated, my sister between my friend and me. I said something to my sister and she stared stonily ahead, refusing to look at me. Since the music was playing and it was loud, I thought she hadn't heard me, so I leaned over and repeated myself, and she still ignored me. Surprised, I said, "What's wrong?"

She turned to me and said in a super snotty tone of voice, "Just because I am not talking, doesn't mean anything is wrong!"

I decided to let it go, but then looked over a moment later, and she was crying. My friend leaned over to ask her if she was okay and she said something I couldn't hear, but motioned in my direction. My friend looked at me with her eyebrows raised. I leaned over again and said, "What is wrong?"

She then responded that she was not pleased to be made fun of for going 80 - 85 mph on the freeway to catch up with us and be a fifth wheel at church. I reminded her that we hadn't said anything until she said something and that we were honestly concerned that something was wrong with her car.

"Nothing is wrong with my car!" she announced. And then she gathered her things.

And left.

As in, went home. Three hours away.

It was a crappy end to what had been a good weekend. I have mixed feelings about it. Honestly, I think she overreacted. But I also wish I would have gone after her. I didn't think she would really just go. And she sent me a text message, saying that "she is never good enough for me" and that I "never want to spend time with her" so she was obviously upset about more than just the drive to church, but I think text-fighting is lame. I asked her to come back so we could talk and she went home. I have been upset all afternoon, with pregnancy hormones not helping the situation.




Laura said...

Hugs for you. Just a stinky way to end a visit.

I have a similar relationship with my sis...mostly great with a few blips. Just remind yourself it's a blip and it will be alright.

It is what it is said...

I had a complete blow out with my mom this morning after years of what I thought was an improved relationship. What I didn't know was that she was keeping a list of grievances and waiting for an opportunity to ambush me.
I read your post and while our situations are vastly different, I didn't feel quite so alone.
Hang in there.

HereWeGoAJen said...

Argh! I'm sorry. Family relationships can be so hard.

Rebecca said...

Drama! I have been feeling guilty lately b/c I keep forgetting when I tell my sister that we'll Skype. I feel (and she probably does too) that she's an afterthought, but as my husband keeps reminding me, my primary job is taking care of the twins...not making her happy. But still...I feel your pain.

Red said...

Oh, that sucks. I hope you find out what is wrong with her soon, as it is obviously not just the driving/speeding thing.

Mrs. Piggy said...

What on earth. Someone has her undies up her butt. I am sorry, but she totally overreacted! Definitely deeper than just the car thing, yikes! Hope it gets resolved soon!

Nonnie said...

Oh good grief. I find that I am not very sympathetic to people who act irrationally, and that is probably a flaw of mine, but I certainly wouldn't have run after her in this case. Maybe if you give her some time to settle down she'll tell you what the real problem was.

Sunny said...

Sorry for the family drama, I just *hate* that. Yes, there is definitely something else going on. Maybe she feels inadequate because of you and your beautiful family? I hope you can talk about it soon.