Monday, October 29, 2007

Making Something Out Of Nothing

I woke up this morning with mixed emotions. Yesterday, I allowed myself to get slapped around by the pee sticks again. Shortly after my post yesterday, my husband picked up my "negative" pee stick and said that he could see a faint second line. I grabbed the stick from him and, sure enough, the faintest of faint second lines was there. Of course, being me, I peed on two more sticks yesterday and both times, came up with faint second lines.

In the back of my mind, I knew it could be trigger. Even though the tests on Saturday had been blank, I just knew it could be trigger messing with my head. And mess with my head it did. All day yesterday, I played the "Maybe I am" game in my head. My husband was even a little excited.

So, it was this morning, with great fear and trepidation that I peed on a stick.

13 DPTrigger. 12 DPO.

BFN.

I know that I don't give up until Day 13. But my hopes for this cycle are really sinking fast.

Updated:

I am such an addict. Really, I am out of control. I have POAS twice more since this morning and still BFN.

This is why I keep peeing so desperately:

1) With Gummy Bear, I didn't test positive until 13 DPO and I did test on 12 DPO.
2) I am having to pee a lot, which is my #1 pregnancy symptom.

But there is really no logical reason to continue to literally pee away my money like this.

And yet I do. This is my insanity.

24 comments:

Polka Dot said...

Hang in there, hon. I know it's hard, but don't cry until that fat lady has sung. Sang. Whatever. Just hold on and I'll be here either way *hugs*

alison said...

Stupid pee sticks! I'm hoping for your 2nd line tomorrow.

infertility just sucks said...

Ignore the sticks! They're just bits of plastic and they aren't smart at all.

They lie and they're stupid. Hold out hope - I sure am.

Baby Steps to Baby Shoes said...

Hoping for you!

Melissa said...

I am hoping with all my might for you....

Missy said...

Hang in there and know that you are getting lots of positive thoughts today to help you get the BFP tomorrow!

Laura said...

Here's hoping to your second line tomorrow! :)

Searching said...

Arg, what a looooong day! Hope tomorrow you get a nice dark double line!

elephantscanremember said...

Come on pg tests! Cooperate with Katie already!

Here's to 2 lines.

Fertilize Me said...

i command those pee sticks to give you 2 lines!!

JJ said...

Oooo pee sticks are evil...I am sorry you are getting mixed readings with faint second lines--hoping tomorrow's is VERY evident!

Kim said...

((Katie))

Try to be strong just a little bit longer...

jenna sais quoi said...

I have the opposite problem- in the forlorn hope that I *might* actually be pg, I put off testing for as long as possible.

Here's hoping for 2 lines for you!

BrownEyedGirl said...

They're devil sticks I tell you!! Hang in there!! ((Katie)) Fingers still crossed!!

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

I'm hoping that the second line is just hiding at the moment and will make it's appearance tomorrow. HUGS!!!

Anns said...

Ugh, this doesn't sound like fun at all, I'm sorry. The silver lining on all of this I'm sure though is that I'm sure your hubby isn't complaining about how much $ you've spent on the sticks. Shoes yes... they'll bitch 'til the cows come home about shoes but no one complains when an infertile woman buys dozens of pee sticks.

I've got my fingers crossed for day 13.

Anns xo

Mrs. Piggy said...

Been there done that. Its really a diagnosable disease, it has to be.
I also didnt test positive til 15 dpo for my first pregnancy, there is still hope!

infertility just sucks said...

I have never wanted someone to poke me with a needle and draw blood before!

I am certifiably bat-shit crazy right now!!

Don't give up. Just like I waited to ovulate until you did I am sure that you're waiting to test positive until I do. Because that's how cycle buddies work.

Vibes baby. Feel the positive, fabulous vibes.

My Reality said...

Step away from the pee sticks. Far away!

Samantha said...

Hold a little longer, if you can. Maybe something will still come of it.

Geohde said...

Buy 'em online.

It feels much better to only pee away a few cents worth each time.

J

(Here's hoping youget two lines soon)

Kim said...

This is why I bought several dollar store tests.. I figure I'll spend the money on the real thing if I get a light positive or miss my period. Until then, I don't feel guilty being a pee-a-holic.

wanttobeamom said...

I agree. If you're a pee-a-holic it's a good financial idea to buy internet cheapies or dollar store cheapies. Then, at least you don't have to feel guilty when you are feeling the let down of only seeing 1 line.

I'm crossing all of my fingers and toes for you!

In Search of Morning Sickness said...

I'm sorry, those tests suck. I'm a POAS acholic, but not a pro like you! Sorry about the BFN's, I hope it's just too early