Friday, October 5, 2007

Funny Moments in My IF History

13 DPO. BFN this morning. This cycle didn't work.

I was really sad yesterday and, of course, shed a few tears this morning. But I am trying remain positive, even if it is a bit difficult to do so on a disappointing day like today. In honor of keeping up my spirits, I decided to post about some of the funny moments during some of my IF trials.

My Husband's First Time Watching the Transvaginal

This is probably one of my favorite moments. I had never had a transvag at this point, but having had several friends go through infertility testing and treatment, I knew all about it - right down to the condom. At our initial consult with our RE, she spoke with us to gain our history and then said the place to start was with an ultrasound. We were led to an u/s room and the nurse asked me to remove my clothes from the waist down. My husband didn't hear her request and also thought that all ultrasounds were through the belly. So when I started taking off my clothes, he looked at me as if I was crazy. He kept asking if I was "sure" that I had heard her correctly.

At last, the doctor came in and started to do the procedure. As I have mentioned before, her bedside manner is somewhat lacking, so she didn't bother to explain what she was doing. She expertly slipped on the condom and was shoving the wand up my Brittney before my husband could bat an eye. I looked over at him, and his eyes were the size of saucers.

Later, as I was putting on my pants, I asked him what he thought. His response?

"Never in my life did I ever imagine to be watching one woman put a dildo in my wife and not be turned on by it."

"Aw, come on, not even a little?" I teased.

He gave me a look and said, "I think that image has been burned into my retinas and I might need therapy before we can have sex again!"

Luckily, he was teasing, too!

Um, I Don't Think That You Can See My Follicles From There

My first assisted cycle, I went in for the follicle check ultrasound. My favorite tech was there and she is such a nice, bubbly person and always really good about telling me what she is seeing instead of waiting for the doctor to do it. I love that about her.

I have had a least five sessions with the good ol' dildo cam with her at the helm, so I was surprised to say the least when this time, she put the probe in a different location, if you know what I mean. Slightly uncomfortable, I said, "Um, actually -"

But before I could finish, she added more pressure and slipped the cam in. It was horrifying for both of us - physically painful and embarrassing for me and she was mortified. She kept apologizing, stammering and blushing her way through changing the condom and the actual follicle check intself. I think that she was worried that I would complain because she got even more nervous when the doctor came in to examine the pictures from the u/s.

We laugh about it now, but man, that was an uncomfortable day - in more ways than one.

1 out of 10 Doctors Say Silent HSGs More Effective

My endometrial biopsy was pretty painful - much more uncomfortable than they had suggested in their little phamplet that explained the procedure. My doctor explained that it was because of where I was in my cycle and that usually, the cervix is a little more dialated before they attempt it, but in my case, we were trying to bang out the tests. All of my friends said that if I thought that the biopsy was bad, I was in for trouble because the HSG was way worse.

I rarely take anything more than a Tylenol for pain and had a leftover bottle of vicodin from an oral surgery that I had a year prior. I am also a lightweight, so I asked my husband to drive me to and from the procedure. I took one and was feeling pretty fine, still coherent, but fine. Then, my procedure was delayed. I was panicked the effects would wear off, so I took another.

Bad idea.

Things actually get a little fuzzy after that, but according to my husband, I was talking to everyone in the waiting room, asking really personal details about their lives and sharing even more personal details about mine - in a really loud voice. My husband kept shushing me (which I do remember), but I wouldn't listen. I had made my husband promise that he wouldn't tell the doctor that I had taken the pain pills, so he kept making up the excuse that I was really nervous.

Finally, we were called back and I was told to get on the table. I was being really friendly and chatty with my doctor - who remember has no bedside manner whatsover - and kept asking all of these questions. I also remember this part, because I clearly remember he looking at me and saying, "You know, this test works better if you are quiet."

I remember thinking that would actually make a difference and didn't make a peep for the rest of the test. Smart lady.

On a final note. . .

I also wanted to thank everyone for their caring support. I am humbled that with all that you have going in your lives, you make the time to read about mine and send your comments my way. They mean so very much to me and I appreciate it more than you can ever know.


BrownEyedGirl said...

I'm sorry for the BFN Katie. IF sucks so bad, why do we constantly have to get neggies! Not fair. I'm sorry!!

I was reading the rest of your post today...and my eyes got huge about the dildo-cam in the wrong...ahem....area. Wow. All my u/s techs ask me to reach under the blanket, take the cam and insert it myself. I always hate the feeling of the condom when I grab it. (But then I hate condoms! LOL)

Anyways, Sweetie I'm sorry for you BFN. (((Katie))) Big hugs Sweetie!

Road Blocks and Rollercoasters said...

On an up note, that HSG story is hysterical! I nearly peed my pants reading it. I wish I had thought to take narcotics before would've made things SO much better!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. :)

Von said...

Katie, I am so so sorry to hear that. I am completely amazed by your strength that you are able to even think about being humourous.
Cannot believe the tech went looking "there" for follies......
Take care of yourself.

Ally said...

Oh, Katie, I'm so sorry. I wish I knew what to say to make it better for you. I wish you peace with this cycle and much hope with the next cycle.

On a different note, thank you for sharing your stories. They were hilarious! Your ability to look for the silver lining in spite of a horrible rain cloud is inspiring.

You'll be in my thoughts.

Fertilize Me said...

first off ..YOU WATCH THE HILLS!!! (not that i do or anything haha)

I am so sorry that you have received a BFN.

My U/S techs and Dr always insert the cam themselves. My husband got to meet it last IUI ..his eyes were in shock.

You are a fantastically funny girl even though this is a tough topic. Hang in there

Polka Dot said...

I'm so sorry hon. I haven't commented in a couple days, but I've been reading and I was really hoping this cycle would work.

The story about the tech and the wrong ... place ... for the vagcam was funny. It's amazing the things we endure for this.

Mrs. Piggy said...

Funniest blog post ive read in a long time. Had to read it outloud to my husband...
I am so sorry about your official BFN :(

lub said...

So sorry about the BFN. Your stories are too funny though! I don't see how the dildo cam could accidentally be put in the wrong place, but boy were you nice not to SCREAM! Take care of yourself!

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your BFN but thank you for offering me your support. I think that if I can just get the uncontrollable crying to stop I'll be o.k. Your post helped a bit with that, very funny. I remember the 1st time I saw the dildocam and I asked the radiologist "you're going to put that in me?? Are you crazy?" Sad how far I've come since then.

Thanks again

Familyof2 said...

Thanks for visiting and commenting.

I shall continue to keep track of your blog as well.

I hope your next cycle is successful! Oh and out of the mouth of my GYN right before he did my endometrial biopsy "I won't hurt that badly" Yeah right...ask the nurse who held my hand how her finger nails felt as they penetrated her hand!

Samantha said...

I'm really sorry about your BFN. You are putting such a brave face on it, and you post of funny moments cracked me up!

I when I had my first transvaginal ultrasound, I was also a little surprised. I expected it to be abdominal, and asked the tech if I needed to fill my bladder. "You are sexually active, aren't you?" she asked. Yeah, I'm married. It just hadn't occurred to me ultrasounds were done that way.

Searching said...

Sorry to be so slow in catching up. So sorry about the Bleepin-Flippin-Neg. :(

I do have to say that you keep me thoroughly entertained (as well as make me fear for my insides! Yowch!) and your hubby sounds so much like mine. Absolutely hilarious!