This is kind of my D Day. Or B Day. Or whatever. This is the day I have always had my BFPs by. Always. So, in my mind, using these sensitive tests, I just know that if it's negative at this point, I am not pregnant.
And this morning's test refuses to cooperate with me. That darn minus won't turn into a plus. I have tried tilting the test. Nothing. I have tried climbing on my bathroom counter to look at the test directly under a bright light. Negative.
I then thought, "Hmm, natural light might help me see it better." So, I climbed into my bathtub (it's the in the corner of the bathroom and it's the only way to reach the windows) and pulled open the blinds enough to let a shaft of light shine onto the test and. . . minus sign.
So, there I was in the bathtub, with the negative test in my hand and I crouched into the empty whiteness and huddled there for a minute. I was praying, I was hoping, I was bargaining with God, I was WILLING that test to turn positive. And still it remains stubbornly one lined.
I am not pregnant.