My sister just got engaged. I am so happy for her. Except for one small thing.
I am very close to my parents and younger brother. My sister is not. She was the youngest child until my parents had a surprise pregnancy - my little brother was born when I was 14 and she was 11. I was thrilled with the addition to our family. I have been addicted to everything baby since I was very little. I was in love with him from the beginning and raced home from school each day to take him on walks, dance with him to music, or give him a bath. He is now 14 and a freshman in high school - which completely boggles my mind - and we are still very close.
My sister, on the other hand, feels that her position was usurped by the little interloper. She has had a chip on her shoulder ever since. She and my mother don't have a great relationship. My sister is the type of person that you never know what to say to her, because even innocuous things can set her off. I would say that we have a "fair" relationship, and she is actually really good about the infertility stuff, so I am grateful for that.
Six months ago, she announced that when she got married, she was going to Mexico and doing it on the beach at sunset. No family would be invited. My husband and I had the traditional church wedding, with 150 guests and family and friends galore. This is so foreign to me. I can understand the lure and charm of a destination wedding, but to do it without family or friends present is what I can't understand. I had a heart to heart with her about how much this hurt my feelings. I know her wedding day is not about me. But I would really like to be there to witness her vows. She says that it is not personal, but that she just doesn't want my mom there. And she can't pick and choose family, so it's just her and her fiance.
I had made my peace with it until today, when she called me to tell me the Big News. I was happy for her and congratulated both her and my soon to be brother in law. I asked when they were booking their trip and she said that they had changed their mind and wanted to go to Hawaii. And that her future inlaws were coming. I am pretty hurt. Part of me doesn't want to go now that she has made it so clear that I am not wanted. But the other part of me recognizes that this is still my sister and I am so sad that I won't get to be there. Once again, I realize that this isn't about me. But it still hurts.
7 DPO. Lots of cramping today and I have had a headache for the past two days that I can't shake. But my husband's nose hasn't picked up the scent, so who knows. A week to go.