Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Futility

I wanted to thank everyone who has been keeping up with me and commenting. I have been a little quiet the past few days due to work and family stuff that is going on. Funny how life doesn't stop even when I feel that there is little reason for my world to keep spinning.

I also wanted to address the testing issue that many commented on. After our third loss, we did have all of the basic testing done; Day 3 FSH, endometrial biopsy, HSG, and a basic blood panel checking for anticoagulation issues, lupus, etc., and my husband had a sperm analysis. All of those tests came back "normal," and since our losses were all of the very early nature, our doctor really felt that it was just a case of bad luck.

Then, we had our fourth and then fifth loss. I had a D&C for that 11 week miscarriage and no tissue was available for successful testing. My husband and I both had a full chromosomal analysis. Again, all was normal.

Basically, everyone (and by everyone, I mean all of the OBs and RE that I have seen) seems to think that we have just had really bad luck. I have been encouraged to repeatedly get pregnant because the odds are very much on our side that eventually, we will get a healthy baby. Thus, we keep trying.

Another goal is to keep getting pregnant because if we don't get our healthy baby, we will get far enough along to do a D&C, this time in time for chromosomal testing. What my RE wants to determine from that is whether my body is killing healthy babies or if we are just having a higher amount that usual of chromosomally abnormal embryos, thus we could then consider IVF with PGD. Yes, I sometimes get frustrated. It seems sad to create a baby for the purpose of finding out why it died. But I can reconcile myself with that if it's the only way to discover our problem.

I got one set of blood work back today and all looks normal. This is frustrating. But I keep trying in the hopes that one day, we'll get lucky.

Can't believe it's cycle day 7.

5 comments:

Polka Dot said...

I'm sorry hon. I know I've been one of those wondering and asking about tests run and what's been done. I think we all get so touchy and want to make sure every person is getting the treatment they need and deserves that it must sometimes seem like a doctor witch hunt.

I do still feel like your RE could be a whole lot more sensitive, but I'm glad to see they've at least done the basic testing.

Shelli said...

I could have written this post word for word. I too am a big question mark for every doctor I've seen.

I keep feeling like I (they) are missing something, yet we've covered pretty much everything in the realm of possibilty.

I am also holiding out hope that if another m/c is in my future, chromosonal testing can be done. It's the only avenue not yet explored.

Our day will come, just you wait and see. (hug)

M.Zub said...

just hit your blog from another's blog and read your story-my heart breaks for you! i am suffering from infertility and just had my first cycle with an RE (good but also desensitized to all this) after 10 months of trying on our own, not yet knowing the results. your story is so sad and i am so sorry for your losses.
i wish you all the very best luck and prayers for your impending cycle.

Manda said...

You are so brave. My heart breaks for you but I'm also full of hope!!

Kristen said...

I hate having no explanation. Both of our losses are a mystery too so far.

I wish you could get answers. It's just so hard when you don't even know what to fix.

XOXO