Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Where To Go From Here

So.
I feel like I am at a blogging crossroads. I want to keep blogging for selfish reasons. It has been and continues to be an outlet for me and I enjoy having a written record of my infertility/loss/parenting journey. I enjoy it as a means to keep up with all of my blogger friends. I like knowing my story stands out there as a beacon of hope for others. It doesn't happen as often as it used to, but I still get the occasional e-mail or comment from someone who has experienced recurrent pregnancy loss and finds my story inspirational and comforting at a time when they need it.

That being said, I also wonder if this is the right platform for me to keep talking about my life with the kiddos. I have my happy ending but do I need to keep flaunting it in the face of those that don't? And, unless things change dramatically, I will not be having any more children, so this blog has reached the end of any potential for TTC, pregnancy, birth, etc. From here on out, my story will be about parenting and my life as it continues to evolve.

As I see it, there are a few options.

1) Keep blogging here. People can keep following my story or not. I will keep blogging about my life and parenting two children after loss. Those that find my blog can read what information they find useful from it and ignore what they might not want to read and hopefully, the pictures of Will and Emma are not salt in their wounds.

2) Stop blogging here and start a new "mommy blog." This blog can then stand as it is and people who stumble across it can read about my happy ending without having to have their noses rubbed in it. They can get their dose of hope and move along.

3) Update here occasionally and let go of the blog "thing" for the most part. I love blogging, but it does take up a lot of time. Perhaps if I got out of the habit, I wouldn't feel the need to blog so much. I could keep up with my blogger friends and follow the stories of those still actively TTC or adopting, but my story? It's been told.

What do you think? And in any case, what do you want to know about/hear about in my life? Any burning questions that I haven't answered in my three plus years of blogging? I have always been an open book, but there might still be something I haven't blathered on about.

25 comments:

cgd said...

Katie
I have been following you, even though I do not always comment. It is hard b/c, not being a mother myself, I do not feel I have that much to add here. However, I know when I am ok and not so ok reading blogs about parenting/pregnancy after pregnancy loss. You were so supportive of me when I lost my baby this spring, I cannot thank you enough for that.
I think you need to do what you think is right for you. If you are getting something out of your blog, I say keep going.
congrats again with everything. Yo have been through a ton and are so deserving of this happy ending.

HereWeGoAJen said...

My vote is that you keep blogging here. It is your space and it should reflect your life. People are always free to read or not read, depending on where they are.

Rachel said...

My vote is definitely for #1. Parenting after infertility and loss is different from parenting without those burdens. There is no reason that you need to hide either side of your life for your readers. There are plenty of blogs on the internets, and people are free to move elsewhere as their interests shift.

I selfishly kept my IF blog because I wanted the support when we got around to cycling again. And then when our experience was so very, very much easier than expected, I wondered whether I should stop blogging (I also have a family blog elsewhere, the 2 are not linked in any way) but decided that my IF friends and experiences are not something I want/need to leave behind (and of course, we are still hoping to cycle again someday).

Michele said...

I'd keep it going... I dont think it is 'flaunting', I think it is simply life, as it is...

RoseAnn said...

I hope you keep it going here so I can keep reading. Your writing is very enjoyable to me, even though I can't directly relate to the subject matter.
I'm also originally from the NW so your occasional mentions of the locale makes it feel like a piece of home. ;)
Even without kids, I have appreciated your recipes and cooking suggstions! That makes it feel less like I'm a total voyeur for selfish reasons.

Searching said...

Well, I would miss you and tales of the kiddos, so if you switch make sure to leave a link!!!

Anonymous said...

Not all of your followers have had infertility/loss issues. Some just enjoy your writing. Such as myself.

It is what it is said...

I think it is utterly and entirely up to you. If you get joy, satisfaction, fulfillment out of the process of writing and would want to continue that as a "mommy/parenting" blog, then I think you should continue to post here, where your regulars can find you (and perhaps you update your intro to tell the majority of the complete TTC and family building story with links to back posts for newbies that are interested. However, if you feel that writing is stressful and pointless and another item to check off your to-do list, then perhaps let it go for a while and see how you feel.
There is no right/wrong answer, just whatever feels right for you. And, you can always change your mind or course as the spirit moves you.
I will follow you if you write :)

Jen said...

Totally up to you. I enjoy blogging, writing and sharing experiences with others. I've "met" many people through my blog. While it started as an outlet for me around the time I was seeking IF treatments, I never considered myself an IF blogger. I also share my blog with family and friends so it is a way to keep people up to date.

Becky said...

I agree with most of the people that have commented on here. I think it's very much up to you. I would love to keep reading your story though :)

PamalaLauren said...

This is your history, it's part of your life, and you should continue to document your life here. Since it seems that your subject matter may be changing you simply just need to change the about me section.

I started my blog in 2000. I used to just blog about politics and events happening in my life. I have moved my blog but only because I was changing platforms (and once forgot to renew my url so I lost it and had to get a new one instead). My current blog I've had for a long time and it's gone from a political/everyday life thing to basically a Mommy blog.

But I still blog on politics and things important to me. I don't think you should have to go to a whole new blog just because you've moved into a new chapter in life. If people don't want to read then they won't read.

I would hope they would find hope in your blog.

Anonymous said...

I hope you don't shut down. I would say that you post A LOT. As in almost every day! It's a ton of work. Maybe you can have semi-scheduled blog post days like every Monday and Thursday so it doesn't feel like a chore. Starting another blog seems like too much work for a woman with a new baby at home. Maybe next year?

Joy@WhenDoesDaddyComeHome said...

I agree with all the other comments. This is your space, your life. Our life and journeys change. People are free to keep reading or move on. But you shouldn't feel you need to move on from your own space. If you need the blog to change with your changing life you can always change the layout and the name of the blog or whatever you need to do.

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie,
I love reading your posts but have never commented before - I'm usually multi-tasking when reading and don't have a free hand but I felt I just had to tell you today that I really hope you continue to blog here. I have two children very similar ages to Will and Emma (2 and 3 months) and I get so much out of reading about family life for you, you are a great writer and have so much great advice.
Please continue!
All the best
Erica

Rebecca said...

I kept my infertility blog after the Crazies were born just b/c it's all in one place. The story doesn't end when you have your kids, it just changes. Sometimes I think it's good for people to see how these things turn out...good or bad. Plus, I eventually (waaaaayyyyyy down the road) want my kids to know how hard I tried for them and how much I wanted them.

Good luck with your decision!!!

Manapan said...

You should definitely keep blogging, and I think here is the best place to do it. Though I stay quiet because I don't feel I have much to offer, it's always great to see someone finally getting their happily ever after. And when it hurts, we can just pull back for a while.

Elise said...

Katie, I think you should follow your heart and do whatever feels right for you. That being said, I hope you choose to continue to blog. Your blog is among my top 3 favorite blogs (and I read a lot of blogs!) and I would be so sad to lose you. You are a wonder-mom and I find a lot of inspiration in your parenting and writing. I really identify with your present (I am a mommy to my Will, 21 mos) and past (I recently suffered a m/c). Your blog is a nice dose of pleasant reality that I can totally relate to Maybe you need a break from blogging so you can decide what to do? I would really miss you if you stopped blogging altogether. So my vote is to stay - in whatever format makes you most comfortable. So...you're staying, right??? :)

Mrs. B said...

I read your blog every chance I get (which isn't very often with a 16 month running around). And I would just like to say that I would miss your updates. I think you should keep on keeping on until YOU dont want to anymore! There, its decided! :)

Crossing My Fingers said...

I don't think you should stop blogging. I heart blogging! I have my IF blog and then I also have a different blog where I'm me and happy and not IF (well, I don't discuss it and it doesn't consume me there). I blog about the most random things from my husband's crazy sleep eating adventures to the radio not working in my car. If you love blogging, don't stop. I know we love to read what you write!

Debby said...

looks like all the votes are already in...but if I can cast mine as well as say choose door #1!

Annalien said...

I enjoy reading here. You are down to earth and "real" and I can relate to your everyday life (even though I did not suffer from repeated losses. If you decide to go on, I'd be reading :-).

Mel said...

I tried giving it up all together and missed it too much. If you are comfortable with your space, I'd stay. Maybe just scale back on your posting frequency. Work prevents me from posting more than once a week or so and it works.

I hope you don't stop!! I sure love reading my favorite super mom!

twelvegrapes said...

Katie- It's been some time...but I wanted to thank you for your words of support on my blog. It meant the world to me. I don't think you should stop sharing your life, if it brings you joy. It's helpful to read of success stories like yours. You have been through the thick of it and came out the other side with a beautiful journey. You're not flaunting, your sharing. That's always a welcome thing.

Laura said...

Keep blogging! Here or at a new mommy blog. Just please don't leave me :)

Mrs. Unexpected said...

Katie, I have been following your blog as a lurker (I'm ashamed to admit). It's one of the few blogs that I have bookmarked.

I am just reaching the point of infertility diagnosis after my loss last year, and I decided to start my own blog. You popped over from LFCA, and I just wanted to say thank you- for your comment, and for continuing to tell your story!