I call my current method of parenting Triage. Whichever kid needs me most at the time is the one that gets attended to. And when both need me equally, I try to take turns. It's a quick assessment that is made on a case-by-case basis.
For example, if Will is in his crib, screaming and fighting his nap and Emma is crying because she is hungry, Will has to wait. If Emma is crying because she has a dirty diaper but Will just fell and bonked his head and needs me to kiss it better, Emma has to wait. If we took a walk and I need to get them both out of the stroller, I take turns on who I get out first.
I try my hardest to include both of them on whatever we do. If I am nursing Emma, I read books to "both" of them. If I am needing to bounce Emma, I turn on music so we can all "dance."
I know none of this is rocket science. It's what parents of multiple children have been doing for years, but it's just finding a new balance and what works for me.
Sometimes, no matter how hard I try, chaos ensues. The other night, I was feeling pretty confident. Dinner was on the table, both kids had clean diapers, the animals were fed, I had even ran the vac before M got home. Life was good. But then he entered the door and it was as if all heck broke loose. The dogs started barking at a passerby, Emma started wailing, M tried to take her, she projectile vomited all over him and the chair he was sitting in, and then Will had the nastiest diaper of all time, and it leaked all over the couch. Gross. So, I was running all over with the cleaning solution, trying to calm crying babies, quiet barking dogs, and find a way to change Will without making a worse mess. It was insanity.
M and I just looked at each other. It was one of those laugh or cry moments and, to be honest, I laughed with tears in my eyes. Like any other moment, good and bad, it passed. We survived. And now when I think about it, I just laugh. No tears.