Our Blessings Continue

Our 8 week, 1 day ultrasound was perfect.

The baby is still measuring ahead, at 8 weeks, 3 days, or exactly one week bigger than s/he was last week. Perfect.

The heartbeat was a resounding 174 bpm. The technician used the word "perfect."

The sac looks great, we could see the umbilical cord.

The little spine was forming already.

The little arm and leg buds were there.

And the best part was that at one point, she moved the camera, and the baby moved. It was a reflex and just the tiniest flicker (my husband missed it), but both the tech and I had saw it. She said that reflexes are a good sign that all is developing and working as it should.

Eight weeks is a milestone in the reproductive endocrinology world. If we were "normal" IVF patients (meaning, no miscarriage history), we would be graduating. Given our history, the weekly ultrasounds will continue. However, given how everything is looking right now, they are putting our chances of losing this pregnancy as minimal.

My husband and I are thrilled.

We are also a little scared. Scratch that, we are a lot scared.

You see, at 8 weeks, 2 days, Gummy Bear's heart beat was a rousing 176 bpm. Although there had been a little lag in growth earlier, he was measuring two days ahead at that appointment as well. So, we've been here, and we've been heartbroken.

I cried for the first time in the ultrasound room today (usually, I am too busy firing off questions to really let the emotions in). They were tears of happiness and also fear. Each time this little one grows, my heart melts a little more. The walls that I have built start to crumble. I start to really love my baby. And while that is the most wonderful and natural thing in the world, it is also scary.

But I have hope that this time, the only tears that I will cry are tears of happiness and joy. And that come August 30th (or a few days earlier or later), we are welcoming our little boy or girl, and finally, all of that love will have a real live baby to focus on.