Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Quick Draw

I have found that one of the main differences in pregnancy this time around is that I am not nearly as fixated with creating the "perfect" nursery. I think it's a result of having less time to focus on baby preparation and just knowing that the cutest bedding set will not make my newborn sleep one bit better!

I also am determined to have the nursery completed long before Emma's slated arrival. I am sure I will continue to fine-tune it, but I would like to have it 'baby-ready' by May 15 (an arbitrary date, but I just felt that I needed a firm deadline).

With Will, I hemmed and hawed about colors, furniture, theme, etc. We still had the nursery done in time, but it still felt very rushed. With Emma, I am a decision-making-diva!

I have already picked the nursery bedding. I found it for $19.99 at TJ Maxx. I have already picked paint colors for the wall. We are going to be blessed by some very generous friends giving us a white crib and changing table. I have an idea for curtains and a rug.

I often wonder why I was such a dilly-dallier with Will. I think there are many reasons for this.

1) As a first-timer, I didn't know what was important and what wasn't, so everything became important. I was almost paralyzed by making the (gasp) wrong decision, so I over-researched everything.

2) I didn't want to do too much too soon and then have to come home without a RLB* and see a beautiful nursery.

3) I didn't realize what life with a newborn would be like. I thought I would have lots more time once I "wasn't working."

Now, with Emma, I have realized the following:

1) Very little about the nursery is really that important. Most of the time I am in that room, it is dark. The cute bedding, perfect paint, gorgeous crib all got puked on, pooped on, and chewed upon. And I will make plenty of wrong decisions as a parent. Painting the nursery the wrong color is a picnic compared to other parenting pitfalls.

2) Of course, bad things can happen. But procrastinating will not prevent that. And being ill-prepared caused me more stress than anything last time.**

3) Life with a newborn is hard. I had very little time that was "free" last time around and I can only assume life with a toddler plus newborn is going to leave me zilch, zippo, nada in terms of free time. If I do have any, I darn well best be sleeping.

So, I think that pretty much covers why my approach is so different this time that last time. And to be honest, this attitude has applied to more than just nursery preparation. I have also pulled the trigger on stroller purchases, names, etc., much quicker this time around. I feel more confident in myself as a mother now and don't worry as much what people will say or think about our decisions.

*RLB
** I have still made my best friend promise that if something does happen, she will collect extra newborn things, put them in the nursery, and shut and lock the door. When I am ready, she will also help to dismantle that room and repaint it. But of course, she made this promise to me, telling me that I was being "silly." Old habits die hard, I guess.

10 comments:

Rebecca said...

Yes...old habits die hard. I totally get where you're coming from though. You have a good best friend for understanding and agreeing to help when you need her (or if you just need her to listen to seemingly irrational thoughts)! Sounds like you're doing great!

Kim said...

I have a Fleurville bag. I bought it online during a sale, but it was still about $90. However, I did see one at TJ Maxx a few months ago for like $20! Crazy! Anyway, I would still pay $90.. or even a little more, for it. It's perfect. It's adorable. I have cleaned the inside out more times than I can count. It can be hung on the shoulder, has rings to hang by the stroller handles, and also has two handles so you can use it as a tote (these all tuck inside so you don't see them). It has 2 outside pockets, one with a zipper section and a few pockets for cell phone, etc. It also comes with a matching changing pad. Then there's the enormous inner area. I can fit a TON in it, yet it's not HUGE or anything. I generally have a bottle, a formula dispenser, a bottle of water, a sippy cup, a snack cup, a ziplock bag or two of other snacks, 3-4 diapers, a travel diaper thingy, some kind of change of clothes, snack for me, my wallet, my phone, etc, etc, etc! PLENTY of room! Definitely worth it IMPO, especially since I get stopped daily to ask where I got it

(I have the sling tote)

Kim said...

Oops.. wrong place for this. Not sure how that happened, sorry!!

HereWeGoAJen said...

Ooh, I love that bedding! And is that a matching sleep sack? Genius.

That is why we had NO nursery until Elizabeth was past one.

Ms. J said...

Bedding is super cute!!!

Uh, remember how we refused to even consider putting together a nursery until we crossed 30 weeks? And then everybody was sick in our house, but we managed to get the paint on the walls, crib built, and nursery furniture moved in (and by "We" I mean those other than myself) . . . yeah, that's about as far as we got when Peanut came early. Well, sheets are on bed and changing pad, and her name spelled out on wall, but still need to put up monkey decals, and it'd probably be a good idea to get all of the crap out of her crib if we ever intend to let her sleep in there, LOL.

You're right, it's really not that important ... nursery decor is something we do for ourselves.

Just get the "go bag" together once you get to week 35, including a "Go bag" for Will, in case you need to pass him to someone when you are out of the house. Everything else will take care of itself, I promise.

~ Katie ~ said...

Love the bedding...too cute!

K @ ourboxofrain said...

I agree with the others who said how much they love the bedding -- very cute!

I'm finding myself in the opposite position -- with both of us working and having a toddler to tend to when not at work, it's much harder to work on getting ready to bring a new person home. We have done next to nothing.

In our case, we are moving Harry into a big boy room and the baby into the nursery (the nursery is *tiny*), but all we've done to ready the big boy room (formerly the guest room) is replace the ceiling and complete about 90% of the painting of walls/ceiling. We still need to finish the walls/ceiling, paint the big boy furniture, acquire a second crib (since Harry is not ready for a bed yet), and figure out some sort of decorating theme that will make Harry happy rather than sad to move down the hall. (Not to mention discussing names or getting a double stroller or a second pack and play for travel use.) I'm not sure how much we'd done at 29 weeks last time, but I feel like it had to have been more than this! Ugh.

In short, I'm jealous that you're more prepared this time around!! Good for you!

Mel said...

My best friend threw my baby shower at our house which made me feel pressured to have the nursery ready to show off at that event. I am glad, too. It pushed the husband to work hard and get it all set up. We put a lot of work and money in to, though, and I am so glad. I love all the furniture and bedding we picked out and for me, it was a lot of fun decorating for a girl! Since moving, I've had a lot of fun doing it all over again. It is the same stuff in a different layout, of course, but it is still fun. I am even excited for the change in a few months when we go from crib to big girl bed! Enjoy it... I enjoy everything as if I'll never get the chance to do it again. :)

Red said...

I am glad you are making the decisions confidently this time. It is sad to read the footnote you made about your request to your best friend, but I guess our history just shapes us and it is hard to change.

I am struggling to find anything to buy for Lucky since we had all gender neutral everything for Champ. So either way we are covered this time. Most of my purchases are for him as Lucky will take over his things! Poor second child.

Stacey said...

Love the bedding you've picked!

I can totally relate to the fear of getting a nursery together "too soon." I think I'm still struggling with believing this will really happen. Fortunately, I already like the green color in the room we plan to use. I have a feeling I'll be waiting a while to take care of the rest.

Sounds like you are making great progress this time around!