Thank you, everyone, for your love and support. I feel as if I have been on a pretty decent emotional rollercoaster these past few days. I am drained and worn out. First, there were the symptoms that made me stop and think, "Hmmmm." Then, there was the spotting that made me think, "Never mind." Then, the spotting stopped, I calculated that my period was late and again, "Hmmmm." Then, the series of faint positives before Friday's dark positive. I scheduled a beta for this morning and with no more spotting at home, I got hopeful.
Last night, I had a couple of swipes of faint pink staining. This morning, there was more on the TP. I took a pregnancy test (the first since Friday) that was so faintly positive that even my eyes had trouble seeing it. Seeing as the test on Friday afternoon was boldly positive, this is not good news. I have been through this too many times to think positively. Spotting, fading pee sticks. . . the handwriting is on the wall.
Of course, I feel guilty. This was a very wanted baby, but a very unplanned one as well. I had some mixed emotions about it, though part of me feels that was just me going into a bit of self-preservation mode. I always had the fear that this would happen and didn't want to get too attached.
Thanks again for the love and support. I am sad today, but I am still grateful for all that I have. We'll be okay.
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24 comments:
(((((hugs))))))
Oh, Katie. I am praying for you. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug.
I'm sorry that this one doesn't seem to be working out.
I hope that when you do decide to plan your next pregnancy, it finally goes just as you plan.
Take care.
I am so sorry, Katie. Thinking about you and sending you big hugs.
Oh Katie. Sending Hugs
Oh sweetie. My "I'm sorry" doesn't fix the sadness, but I really am. I wish it wasn't like this. xo
Katie, I am so sorry. The full gamut of emotions that you and hubby must be going through, all over again (and yet different because of Baby Will). I won't try to come up with the right words. There are none.
But if my magic wand would work, I would surely wave it for you.
*HUGS*
I wish I had something I could say, so instead sending my love and support!
So sorry to read about what you're going through. Thinking of you.
I'm so sorry, Katie. Hugs to you.
I am so sorry.
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I'm so sorry. I wish things could be different. So badly. (((HUGS)))
Hi there...
I am sorry...I will be thinking positive thoughts for ya.
J
All my prayers are with you. With my last succesful pregnancy I got fainter positive after having much darker ones few days before. I wish so much the same happened to you.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))
I am so sorry. Hugs to you and your family.
I'm right there with you. I'm sorry you have to experience these ups and downs...
((hugs)) I'm so sorry :(
Of course you'll be okay, but I'm sending my best wishes for comfort and love to you as you deal with this loss.
Big virtual hugs!
i'm sorry.
Hope is a tricky little thing isn't it?!
Sending lots of love (and understanding) your way.
I'm so sorry.
I'm behind and catching up.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm thinking of you and sending loads of love your way.
I am very sorry. (Hugs)
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