Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Taking On the World One Bite At A Time

That's right, folks, we have a biter.

Will has decided that if something happens that he doesn't like (he is "forced" to share a toy, I tell him "no," etc.) then the best way to handle it is by using his teeth.

He has bitten me too many times to count, his father just once, and his best baby friend TWICE.

After extensive consultations with Dr. Google, and a real consultation with our own pediatrician, I have reached the following conclusions:

1) Biting is a normal developmental phase that many kids go through. Like any other forms of communication (crying or pushing), it is a toddler's way of letting you know that they are not happy with a situation.

2) Biting my be "normal," but it is seen as far worse by most parents than something else, like pushing (and I am sure I would feel the same way if my kid was the victim).

3) Biting the kid back is a major no-no, no matter what my parents, my in-laws, and about 50% of the people I talk to about it recommend.

4) He should be over it, like any phase, pretty soon. I can't wait.

In the meantime, I am just super diligent about recognizing when he is about to use his teeth for evil. If I see that he starts to open his mouth, I am on it like white on rice. If he actually uses said teeth, it is a stern NO and a removal from the situation.

How about any of you out there? Any biters? Any advice?


Ashley said...

I've got some twin "biters" over here. They mostly bite each other, so I guess that fits into the "biting back" category! What do you do??!! It's just a phase that every kid goes through, and saying "no" is really all that you can do. There will be many more phases like hitting, throwing, spitting, kicking, pinching, etc... So much to look forward to! Don't worry, it's all normal and you are doing a great job!

Anonymous said...

Lemy isn't a biter, she prefers to hit. I generally bear the brunt of her smacks and I've found that telling her no and putting her time out for about one minute has worked. She hasn't hit in about a week. We use our pack n play in a separate room for time out and it works nicely! Good luck!!! ((hugs))

Fertilized said...

oh good luck to you! how frustrating. MT is not a biter, he prefers to just scream and throw hyself on the ground and get hurt .... WOW these children and their milestones...

Mrs. Piggy said...

We have had very sporadic biting around here. I actually got bit in the boob today and it hurt, a lot.
I have no advice! I'll have to see what everyone else says.

K @ ourboxofrain said...

We also have a biter (who is also a hitter). We do the stern "no" and then we try to be consistent about taking him away from the situation and putting him down somewhere with his back to the fun. Of course, it's tough to keep him there, but it does seem to work (or he is just outgrowing it). Good luck!

Tracy said...

Evan went through a biting phase (and may yet again) and I did exactly as you did. Instant "NO" and removal from the situation. He seemed to get the message rather quickly. Though I harbor no illusions that he won't do it again.

Ms. J said...

Can't help ya on The Biter Biz, hee hee.

BUT . . . I wanted to send you a big heaping helpin' of slobbering THANKS for the comment you recently left on my blog (my mixed feelings and anxiety). What YOU wrote, well, it was the single most helpful and comforting thing I have heard in a long time. You pinpointed on so many emotions I have been having, from the "threat" of this pregnancy to my relationship with my existing child, to my fear of having to come back from another broken heart. I am sorry that you were able to do those things (zero in so acutely on my feelings), because I know it comes from a place of "been there, done that, even wrote the book," yourself.

I am eternally grateful that you do "get it" though, and can appreciate what I am going through, and how mixed I feel.

For what it's worth, I never for one second found you to be heartless after your post-Will pregnancy loss. I was nodding along as you tried to explain your emotions, and how you needed to move along, and get back to the reality of parenting Will, and cherishing all of his splendor.

Again, Katie, my most sincere love and appreciation to you for your support.

(and if you'd keep an extra prayer handy as I stare down the NT scan tomorrow morning I'd be grateful).