When I didn't get moved to the next phase of the Verity Mom selection process, M asked if I was "done" looking for a job for awhile.
I said, "No."
See, the thing is, we don't need the money. We are comfortable, we are able to pay all of our bills, and we even have a bit of extra for fun things like dinners out and trips to the fair.
It's not about the money, although a little extra certainly wouldn't hurt. What I want from a job is that feeling that I got last week when I was campaigning. I loved the "zing" of excitement that came from doing something that I enjoyed. I loved the outlet for my creativity, the passion that I had for blending motherhood with a career, and the self-satisfaction from doing something that I felt successful at.
I don't ever regret the fact that I didn't go back to my job at J&J. It would have been very difficult for me to be the type of mom that I want to be and the type of employee that I had been. While I know I would have found my way, as millions of other working moms do each and every day, I know that feeling so torn would have been very difficult for me. If I had gone back, I know I would have resented the travel, the amount of time I was away from Will. Although I worked from a home office, I was really not working "from home." My job required me to be out in the field all day, and I was often not home until after 10 PM, taking clients to dinner, hosting programs, or trying to get into difficult to see departments that would be less busy at night. If I was home, I was on conference calls or on the phone with clients, so it wouldn't have been quality time with Will. I know that many women have to work, but since I don't have to, I know it was the right choice for me, for our family, to stay at home.
I do love being at home. I love being with Will. I love the fact that I get to see all of his firsts. I love the close bond that I have with him. I am thankful for this amazing opportunity to have so much time with my son. That being said, I really do believe that there is time left in my day for me to find an outlet for my professional side, my creativity, my passion, my sales and marketing background. I am finding that easier said than done.
It is difficult to find a work from home position. First, there are a ton of "work at home" scams out there. I feel as if I am pretty saavy, but I have been duped by more than a few ads that seemed promising and ended up not panning out. I actually got that ad sales job, and it was legitimate, but it was also a really crappy job and when they started haggling over my commission, I realized it wasn't worth my time. I know any job is going to have it's downsides, but it also needs to have an upside to be worth it.
Today, I got offered a job working for an at-home call center. I was all excited. It paid a reasonable hourly amount, even for training. In six months, I would qualify for benefits and a raise. I was about to accept, when the person on the other end of the phone mentioned the 10 hour shifts. As I had applied for part time only work (which stated shifts no longer than 4 hours), this was a bit of a surprise. The lady apologized and said she would put my name back in the hopper for part time work, but that those shifts are few and far between.
Back to the drawing board.