So, with the latest development of gallstones, plus the afforementioned pre-not-quite-but-maybe-eclampsia, today is my last day of work. I am just tired, swollen, headachey, and done. My hat is off to women who can work to fullterm. I guess if I had to, I could keep working, but I am blessed with amazing short term disability coverage, so I don't have to push through.
It is a strange feeling to be wrapping things up. And for the next few weeks, not to have anything "to do" is equally strange. Yes, I am growing a baby, and yes, there are still a few projects that need my attention. However, not to balance that between work just seems so foreign.
I have been working since I was 12. That's not an exaggeration. I started a lawnmowing business in my neighborhood the summer after sixth grade. I actually had a pretty lucrative business, doing an average of 15 lawns per week. No, I didn't declare my taxes. Uh-oh.
I also started babysitting that summer, and at fifteen, I was a nanny for a three-month old for the entire summer, 9 - 5, Monday through Friday. At 15 1/2, the legal working age for minors in my state, I got a job at a local burger restaurant. I worked there until I was 18, also working for an insurance agent at the same time and going to school.
I had to put myself through college, so I had three paying jobs during school. I graduated at 20 and started my first corporate America job two weeks later. So, really, this will be my first honest to goodness break in a long while.
Vacations don't really count to me. There is so much stress getting ready for them and coming back from them and I never "let go" 100%. Now, with a six month maternity leave ahead of me, and of course, the life-changing events about to take place, I have a feeling that I will truly be able to let go. At least, that is my hope.
I am having a difficult time letting go right now. I guess that shouldn't be such a surprise, but it really is. Handing over my entire territory, including my customers, to another person is counterintuitive. Plus, in my field, we don't have someone to officially cover us while we are away. My coworker that is graciously covering for me has her own job and her own territory, so it is likely that a lot will get ignored in my absence. I have been scurrying around this week, trying to say good-bye to customers, letting them know how to get ahold of someone if they need help, wrapping up my personal paperwork, etc.
Today, I have a final meeting with my coworker to make sure that she has everything that she needs. And that's it. Over. Finis.
It feels strange and it feels good, all at once. And I know that once Little Man is here, I will be so grateful for the time that I had to relax prior to his arrival. Even more importantly, I will be so grateful for the time that I have to focus on just being his Mommy. That doesn't feel strange at all.