Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Birthday Plans

Well, Emma has a new birthdate. Saturday, July 17, just ten days from now.

The contractions have really settled down the past day. She is being really active all of a sudden, too, which makes me think that she isn't coming out anytime soon. Dr. S didn't even do an internal exam today to check for dilation. I was surprised but didn't push it. Knowing if I am (or am not dilated) really won't change much. She'll be here, one way or another, by the 17th.

These last few days have brought a new level of exhaustion to me, but it is as much of an emotional depletion as it is a physical one. I am desperately trying to enjoy these final days of my pregnancy. M and I feel "done" with our family, at least for now, so this is very likely the last days I will carry life within me. After such a long journey of pregnancy, loss, and birth, it feels so strange to be "done". I have a lot of mixed emotions, so please bear with me.

When K gave us the new date and then left the room before Dr. S came in, M noted that this will be our last weekend with "just Will." It was then that I really started to feel panicky and sad. I know these emotions are normal and to be expected. I am so excited to meet our sweet baby girl and get started on this journey of three becoming four. But I also wish that I could cling to these final days with my first baby, instead of wishing they would pass faster because I am hot, swollen, uncomfortable, and impatient.

Will is getting his two year molars, which means that he is also swollen, uncomfortable, and impatient. We got on each others' nerves today. And I kept thinking, "I should be doing these last few days so much better than this." I was in tears so many times today. Oh, hormones.

Okay, now for some good news, because for goodness sakes, I am depressing myself with this entry!!

It is finally seeming like summer here in Seattle and we were able to get a portable a/c unit on Sunday before the mad rush began. With 90 degree weather in the forecast, I am a very grateful pregnant woman indeed!

We are having a pool party playdate with some friends tomorrow. A fun, relaxing day together is just what Will and I need!

My big "to do" list has really gotten pretty short. I don't think much else is going to get done on it before she arrives, so that's a very good thing. But I do feel that we are ready for her to arrive, even though I didn't check every last thing off. The important things are taken care of, and right now, I think resting and conserving what little energy I have left is the most important thing that I can "do."


Anonymous said...

I bought an A/C unit today too!! And two new fans. I love Seattle summers!! But so wish I could be in a pool swimming!

I can only imagine how hard all this is. But remember what an amazing gift you are giving Will. A sibling is an amazing awesome gift. And you are such a wonderful Mama.

Keep up the great work!! The countdown has started and I am so excited for you!!

cgd said...

wishing you the very best of luck in the last weeks of your pregnancy and as Emma makes her way into the world.

Anonymous said...

How excitng! I know your going through mixed emotions, but I can assure you that once Emma comes you will have a whole new love and appreciation for Will. Thinking of you, sweetie. ((hugs))

Amy said...

dude so exciting!!! I am calling you stat!

Amy said...

ok call me b/c I lost your # loser!

HereWeGoAJen said...

Oooh, exciting! I can't wait!

It is what it is said... much to look forward to and reflect upon. The good news will be the way that Emma will complete your family (even if down the road you should decide otherwise, just going into it thinking you'll be done will likely bring a feeling of completeness).

Much peace and happiness to you as you enter the final days of this pregnancy, this chapter, this journey as you prepare for another.

(and, I apologize for sounding so harsh in my post yesterday re: your mom. I should have edited before I hit publish).

Debby said...

July 17th sounds like a great day to welcome a baby girl! Enjoy your last weekend with will too. I truly know how bittersweet this all is.

peesticksandstones said...

Awww, I could totally understand those mixed feelings as the pregnancy draws to its end. Just reading that, I found myself tearing up a bit. This whole journey is intense -- even in its awesomeness and happiness, it can be a lot to take in.

This is a great time to have a baby -- your family will be able to enjoy so much of summer/outside, etc as 4. Wishing you all the very best!

sophie said...

Reading your post, all I got were good feelings about what's ahead for you. It'll be SO GREAT!!! Yes, Will is your handsome, beautiful baby, he is so special, and Yes, Emma is your wonderful, little girl baby, and she is so special!

So great!

Sunny said...

Getting caught up... I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ONLY 10 DAYS NOW!! Thinking of you and your family as the exciting day approaches. :)

Mel said...

It is SO close. Crazy. I am so excited for you.

I am sure there is so much emotion involved in all of this... neverming the fact you're all SUPERPREGNANT and what not, right? Take a deep breath and just remember that you can do this. Life will definitely change, but it will be good. Very good.