Birthday Plans

Well, Emma has a new birthdate. Saturday, July 17, just ten days from now.

The contractions have really settled down the past day. She is being really active all of a sudden, too, which makes me think that she isn't coming out anytime soon. Dr. S didn't even do an internal exam today to check for dilation. I was surprised but didn't push it. Knowing if I am (or am not dilated) really won't change much. She'll be here, one way or another, by the 17th.

These last few days have brought a new level of exhaustion to me, but it is as much of an emotional depletion as it is a physical one. I am desperately trying to enjoy these final days of my pregnancy. M and I feel "done" with our family, at least for now, so this is very likely the last days I will carry life within me. After such a long journey of pregnancy, loss, and birth, it feels so strange to be "done". I have a lot of mixed emotions, so please bear with me.

When K gave us the new date and then left the room before Dr. S came in, M noted that this will be our last weekend with "just Will." It was then that I really started to feel panicky and sad. I know these emotions are normal and to be expected. I am so excited to meet our sweet baby girl and get started on this journey of three becoming four. But I also wish that I could cling to these final days with my first baby, instead of wishing they would pass faster because I am hot, swollen, uncomfortable, and impatient.

Will is getting his two year molars, which means that he is also swollen, uncomfortable, and impatient. We got on each others' nerves today. And I kept thinking, "I should be doing these last few days so much better than this." I was in tears so many times today. Oh, hormones.

Okay, now for some good news, because for goodness sakes, I am depressing myself with this entry!!

It is finally seeming like summer here in Seattle and we were able to get a portable a/c unit on Sunday before the mad rush began. With 90 degree weather in the forecast, I am a very grateful pregnant woman indeed!

We are having a pool party playdate with some friends tomorrow. A fun, relaxing day together is just what Will and I need!

My big "to do" list has really gotten pretty short. I don't think much else is going to get done on it before she arrives, so that's a very good thing. But I do feel that we are ready for her to arrive, even though I didn't check every last thing off. The important things are taken care of, and right now, I think resting and conserving what little energy I have left is the most important thing that I can "do."