Sleep? What Is That?

How is it that I can have an almost one month old baby?! How did this happen?!

I read the developmental books that talk about things that should start happening at six weeks, three months, and beyond. For example, the "experts" say that sleep patterns should start emerging at four months. I read this through my blood-shot, sleep deprived eyes and think, "Four months?! That's forever from now! I have to wait that long to get some sleep?!" And then I realize that it's not really that far away. Little Man will be four months old before I can blink those weary eyes.

I actually don't mind the late night feedings at night. I get Will from his bassinet before his cries can wake up M and then practically sleep walk into our extra bedroom. I have quite a nice set-up in there. . . comfy queen sized bed, t.v. (with cable), and I keep Will's diapers, some wipes, My.licon, and a fresh bottle of water by the bedside. He really is quite easy at night. I don't think he really wakes up, is more of in a partial awake stage. I nurse him from one breast, then he gets a diaper change and re-swaddled, a drop of My.licon, and then the other breast. After a quick burp, we tiptoe back into the bedroom and he goes right back down in his bassinet. No muss, no fuss. It's actually a quiet time and I enjoy those precious moments of it being just the two of us.

The problem is that these late night feedings happen quite frequently. He gets maybe one three to four hour sleep window, then it's every two hours, like clockwork, after that. I'm lucky if I am up less than four times between 8 PM and 7 AM. The cumulative effect is that I am very tired during the day. His naps aren't really as predictable. Some days, he might go down for two hours and I get a nap myself. Other days, the naps are little jags of time, thirty minutes here, forty-five minutes there. I barely have my head on the pillow and he is up again.

Everyone tells me that it gets easier, that sleep patterns will emerge, that his little tummy will somehow stay full for longer than two hours. But it's a double-edged sword. Wishing for those days means wishing these days away. And as tired as I am, I wouldn't trade this time for the world.