Getting To Okay

I am fully 38 weeks pregnant.  That is full term, for those of you keeping score at home.  Yay!

I had another platelet draw today.  It has dropped again, but is still above the "danger" zone.  This platelet checking thing has been a bit of a rollercoaster and I will be glad to be off of it.  I honestly think that whether I will be able to be awake for the c-section or not will be a "day of" decision. 

I am enjoying my time off work, though I haven't been doing as much resting as I should.  I would say I am likely nesting, as I am finding the energy to work on things like laundry and cleaning my refrigerator.  I am tired, but there is a restless edge to this fatigue.  Even when I settle into bed, physicially spent, my mind will not shut down and stop thinking of all that still needs to be done.

There really isn't that much to be done, to be honest.  The nursery needs a few things hung, but my dad doesn't like to sit around while he is here, so I have made him a list of things that need to be put up.  But my mind keeps buzzing about those darn things anyway.   Each day, I get a few more things ticked off of my list of "nice to be done", but the "have to be done" things were finished awhile ago (side benefit of a hospital admission at 35 weeks). 

One of the "nice to be done" things was going and picking out a gift from the kids to Andrew (we chose the Tranquil Turtle based on some good recommendations from friends - kind of pricy, I will have to let you know if it is worth it) and we picked out gifts from Andrew to the kids.  This was something that we did with Will when Emma was born and I felt it was successful.  Another "nice to be done" thing I will do tomorrow (unless Andrew makes other plans for me) is to go to the dollar store and get some little presents to wrap for the kids and have for days when they are really extra good big siblings.  I guess you could call it bribery, but it worked like a charm when Emma was born, and I am  not above a bit of bribery here and there.

I am a mix of so many emotions.  One minute, I am happy and excited to get this show on the road.  The next, I am overwhelmed and anxious, wondering how we will possibly handle all of this.  I range from laughing to crying to everything in between.  This is a crazy, crazy time and I think I am just ready to get on with the program. . . while still clinging a bit to the life with "just" two.  I recall these exact emotions when Emma joined us, so I know it will all be okay.  It is just the getting to okay that I am a little bit worried about.