The Day Before

The day before Emma was born was a bit hectic.  We had to get Will to my MIL and my pre-surgical bloodwork caught my previously undiscovered platelet issues, so I had to go get more bloodwork and worry about that.  I felt as if I ran around all day like a chicken with my head cut off.

Today seems a bit more chill.  This time, my nanny is here, doing a lot of the legwork with the kids.  I am not exactly running around, but I am keeping busy. I took Will to preschool this morning.  I am doing some last minute laundry.  I am running to the grocery store for a few odds and ends (milk, bread, things of that nature). 

My parents are arriving this afternoon and will be able to help with dinner and other things tonight.  They will be staying until we get home from the hospital.  If I am doing well, they will probably leave the day after we get back, to give us some family time, and then come back when M goes back to work (Monday, Oct. 22).  And again, I have our nanny during the day to help with things, so I feel as if I have a lot more back up than I did last time.

I have done a lot of random things to be ready for Andrew's arrival, though I know there are things that I should have done.  The nursery is done, down to the wipes already in the wipe-warmer and the Ergo washed and hung up, ready to be worn.  His bassinet, swing, bouncy chair, and playmat are all at the ready.  I have my post-surgical meds (including stool softeners, pain meds, hemmorhoid creams, etc.) in the bathroom.  I have a life time supply of the biggest pads you have ever seen.  I have nipple cream and pads in my hospital bag.  I have cleaned every piece of bedding (including our pillows) in my super fancy washer (on the sanitize cycle - nest much?).

All of the laundry hampers are empty, the fridge and pantry have the essentials we will need.  My mom plans on adding some frozen meals to my collection (I have been making and freezing extras for about a month - I have 16 meals at the ready).  This isn't my first time at the rodeo, so I feel as if I have a good idea of what I need to have ready to be prepared and those things are done.  Because our house is still so new, a lot of things that I had to do to prep for Emma's arrival I just didn't have to do this time.  Closets were already cleaned.  The house is spotless because we haven't lived here long enough to get that build up of dirt a lived-in-for-longer-house gets.  Oh, and I have a biweekly housecleaning service already in place.  The house will be scrubbed clean tomorrow and still be nice and tidy when I arrive home on Sunday.  I have two baskets (one pink, one blue) of wrapped "big sibling" presents, little things to have the kidlets open on days when we need a little perk or to celebrate extra good behavior.  My hospital bag is packed. . . I have packed and repacked it about a million times this past month.  Andrew's bag is ready, too, although I never bring much to the hospital for them, since it is all provided.

I am writing this all down to reassure myself.  Because, despite all of the above, ALL OF A SUDDEN, I DON'T FEEL READY.

It is funny how, for the last month, I have been "done".  I have fantasized about sleeping in my bed without this large bump, not having to get up five times a night to use the restroom, not having ferocious heartburn that causes me to wake up, choking on my own stomach acid.  I have longed to see my ankles again, wear shirts that fit, and basically have my body back.  I have tried to enjoy these days of pregnancy and mostly failed, because I have been physically pretty uncomfortable.

And now, on the eve of delivery, I am feeling decidedly nostalgic about all of those things and wishing that the surgery was next week or the week after.  I am SUCH a hormonal, emotional goofball right now!!!  If you are still reading this, you are a glutton for punishment.

In any case, 24 hours from now, Andrew will be here.  All of this anxiety will be over.  I can't wait.