M and I will be celebrating 10 years since we started dating this Thursday. TEN YEARS. Unbelievable.
Back in September, before separation anxiety had reared its ugly head, we booked spots for our dogs at the kennel and made reservations for ourselves at our favorite hotel (which is in the same town as my MIL). We asked my MIL to watch Will for one night so we could get away to celebrate.
In September, he spent a night with his grandma and LOVED it. I saw video from that stay and he had an amazing time. He was glad to come home, but I don't really think he missed us at all while he was away. It was incredibly freeing to know he was in good hands and also have a night to ourselves. My MIL offered - and we gladly accepted - to make it a monthly occurrence.
In October, we tried again. . . with disastrous results. I drove the hour up there, set up everything (pack n play, booster, changing area), and left him as he screamed and turned purple with rage. I cried as I got into the car, but was convinced he would be okay in a few minutes. Half way home, my MIL called me, in tears himself. Will had made himself throw up and she took his temperature and it was 101.6. I could hear him still screaming in the background. She wanted me to come back and get him. I hurried back, had to pack everything back up, while Will alternatively clung to me or sobbed as my MIL held him and I packed. When I got him home, I took his temperature - normal. The little buggar was so upset that he gave himself that temperature. It was a bad night.
We didn't try in November, but when we walked into my MIL's house on Thanksgiving, he started screaming. It took him a few minutes to calm down and even then, he was clingy and upset the entire two hours we were there. Neither of us could leave the room for even a second without him freaking out. He would have nothing to do with my MIL. We went over to my husband's aunt's house for the actual dinner itself, and he was fine there. He made himself at home, toddled all around, and went to everyone . . . but my poor MIL. He just seems to associate my MIL's house and my MIL herself with being left. This obviously upsets both my MIL and his great-grandma, who love this little boy desperately and would adore having him there whenever we were willing. They LIVE for time with this child.
So, next weekend is our proposed time away. The plan is (was?) to leave him Saturday morning and return Sunday morning. We would be gone for about 24 hours. I was really looking forward to it, M was really looking forward to it. My MIL was looking forward to having him.
I don't want to be selfish. Most of me feels as if this is just a temporary phase. He will not be this little or this attached to us forever. There will be a time that will come only too soon when he doesn't want to be with us. Part of me feels as if we just should change our plans and celebrate our anniversary with him.
The other part of me wonders if I am not just coddling and babying him too much. M is more of this school of thought and worries that we are creating a "Mama's Boy" and that it's not healthy. He also feels that we need some time together to just relax and hang out, which is true.
The other small piece of this is that I don't want my MIL to feel like the "bad" one that he seems to be associating her as. That's not fair to her. She is a kick-@ss grandma that anyone would be blessed to call their own.
I am going to ask our pediatrician when we are at Will's 15 month Well Baby check on Tuesday, but I am also to hear what other moms (and dads, too!) have done in similar situations. I don't want to exacerbate his fears of being left, but I also don't want to hinder his development. What would you do - or what have you done?