Well, I finally gave into the call of the pee-sticks today. Who would ever have thought that me, the self-proclaimed poas-aholic could wait all the way until 13 DPO? Not me.
And as for the results of my pee-a-thon? Let's just say that I am not going to be that girl who miraculously gets pregnant on her first TTC-again cycle.
I am a bit surprised that M's nose was wrong, but at least I didn't start my "Know From Implantation" Campaign yet. Just think of the mass-recall.
M asked if I was disappointed. I guess that I am, but not that soul-crushing, mind-numbing disappointment that I used to experience after a BFN. After all, we just started trying. I really can't be surprised that it didn't work and definitely can't be truly disappointed. Not really.
So many people don't even have their first miracle, so I feel a bit (maybe more like a lot) greedy if I am disappointed that I don't yet have my second. And we have lots of options and time.
But (she says in a tiny, very small, very embarrassed and ashamed voice) I guess if I am completely honest, I am disappointed. And disappointed in myself for feeling that way.
After taking the hit so many times, we finally dodged the bullet . . . And we're forever grateful. This is a story about parenting our three miracles after unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss.
Our Happy Ending
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Our Story. . . So Far
My husband and I endured nine miscarriages as we tried to build our family, becoming part of the 2% of couples who experience recurrent miscarriages. All of our friends had babies, so I used to joke, "It's because I am taking the statistical bullet for you." It stopped being funny, but it made a great blog title.
Through the miracle of IVF/PGD, we were blessed to finally bring our son, William Patrick, into our lives on August 20, 2008. We were then given a second miracle and welcomed our daughter, Emma Grace, on July 17, 2010. And just when we thought we were done, we got even luckier and Andrew Robert joined us on October 11, 2012.
Through the miracle of IVF/PGD, we were blessed to finally bring our son, William Patrick, into our lives on August 20, 2008. We were then given a second miracle and welcomed our daughter, Emma Grace, on July 17, 2010. And just when we thought we were done, we got even luckier and Andrew Robert joined us on October 11, 2012.
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Bullet Points
- Adoption (1)
- Easy Dinner (1)
- Infertility (1)
- Miscarriage (5)
- Other Memorials (1)
- PROM (1)
- Recurrent Pregnancy Loss (5)
- Sandwiches (1)
- Stillbirth (4)
We're Celebrating!
When you start looking into the world of infertility, there are a lot of sad stories. But if you search just a little harder, you can find the happy stories, too. Here are just some of the miracles happening to IF girls, just like us, right now:
Manapan is pregnant after three miscarriages. Betas and ultrasounds looking good!
It Is What It Is has all of their paperwork completed and is waiting to adopt #2.
Rachel is pregnant with Bargain Baby.
OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH!!! Amy is in the third trimester!
A is in the second trimester with #2. She thought it was a boy, but she was wrong. . . SISTERS!
Mommyshoes is going to need another pair of shoes for #2!
Stacey is a finally a mommy after recurrent pregnancy loss. Lily is here!!!
Red is a mommy again. Beatrice has arrived.
Tiffany and Nolan are battling the four month sleep regression.
Kathy, Bob, Sean, and Abigail have Molly in their hearts.
Joy is a mommy to three daughters and TTC #4!
Missy is a mommy to Kaylee.
MNRN is a mommy to Kate!
Alison and B are doing great! And she is pregnant again!
Samantha had a Valentine's Baby!
Polka Dot and her husband are adopting.
Waiting In Line has the twins and is in the second trimester with a third boy!
Ms. J is a mommy to Little Pumpkin and Peanut!
In Search of Morning Sickness is a mommy to Elyana and TTC #2.
Yoka is a mommy to Lillian and TTC #2.
JJ is a mommy to Oliver!
Jen is a mommy to Elizabeth Rose!
Tracy is a mommy to Evan and Rowan!
Jen, Jillian, and Hayden are doing great!
Geohde has the takeaways, Saag and Naan, and is TTC again.
Adriene is a mommy to Gabriella and Grace!
K is enjoying motherhood with Harry and Josephine!
Farah is mastering motherhood with MT and 2.0!
R&R is loving life with Lemy and Jasper.
Kristen and Nate are doing great and she is pregnant again.
Chris is a mommy to Andrew.
Baby Steps to Baby Shoes is a mommy to Zachary.
Mrs. Piggy is blessed with twins Emerson and Owen.
Debby is a mommy to two handsome boys - Grayson and Sawyer.
Manapan is pregnant after three miscarriages. Betas and ultrasounds looking good!
It Is What It Is has all of their paperwork completed and is waiting to adopt #2.
Rachel is pregnant with Bargain Baby.
OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH!!! Amy is in the third trimester!
A is in the second trimester with #2. She thought it was a boy, but she was wrong. . . SISTERS!
Mommyshoes is going to need another pair of shoes for #2!
Stacey is a finally a mommy after recurrent pregnancy loss. Lily is here!!!
Red is a mommy again. Beatrice has arrived.
Tiffany and Nolan are battling the four month sleep regression.
Kathy, Bob, Sean, and Abigail have Molly in their hearts.
Joy is a mommy to three daughters and TTC #4!
Missy is a mommy to Kaylee.
MNRN is a mommy to Kate!
Alison and B are doing great! And she is pregnant again!
Samantha had a Valentine's Baby!
Polka Dot and her husband are adopting.
Waiting In Line has the twins and is in the second trimester with a third boy!
Ms. J is a mommy to Little Pumpkin and Peanut!
In Search of Morning Sickness is a mommy to Elyana and TTC #2.
Yoka is a mommy to Lillian and TTC #2.
JJ is a mommy to Oliver!
Jen is a mommy to Elizabeth Rose!
Tracy is a mommy to Evan and Rowan!
Jen, Jillian, and Hayden are doing great!
Geohde has the takeaways, Saag and Naan, and is TTC again.
Adriene is a mommy to Gabriella and Grace!
K is enjoying motherhood with Harry and Josephine!
Farah is mastering motherhood with MT and 2.0!
R&R is loving life with Lemy and Jasper.
Kristen and Nate are doing great and she is pregnant again.
Chris is a mommy to Andrew.
Baby Steps to Baby Shoes is a mommy to Zachary.
Mrs. Piggy is blessed with twins Emerson and Owen.
Debby is a mommy to two handsome boys - Grayson and Sawyer.
Finally . . . Our Dream Come True
Sweet Baby Will Born August 20, 2008 8 lbs. 6 oz. 20 inches long
The Life and Times of Me
Daddy & His Little Man
Will's Fan Club
Molly Marie Benson
Born at 12:57 PM on April 17, 2008 Went to heaven at 1:15 PM April 17, 2008
Please Remember
Help A Friend In Need
My good friend Polka Dot has many great ideas to help fund her upcoming IVF cycle. One of them is by asking kindhearted strangers to part with a few dollars.
Click Here To Donate
Click Here To Donate
I Cross-Pollinated!
Bee a sport and do it next year!
Also Taking the Bullet. . .
- (Un)complicate Me
- A Brief History of You
- A Few Good Eggs
- Blurb This
- Certainly Not Cool Enough To Blog
- Diagnosis Unexplained
- Disenchanted With Reality
- Elephant in the Room
- Empty Womb Syndrome
- Feeling Empty
- Fertilize Me
- I'll Take An Evap
- In Search of Morning Sickness
- Infertility Just Sucks
- Jen and Jeramy
- Journey to Babeland
- Journey to Parenthood
- Life As A Sandwich
- Life From Here
- Life In the Cat Pad
- Living With the Cards I Was Dealt
- Love Will Tear Us Apart
- Love, Hope, and Faith
- Luck Doesn't Happen Twice
- Mission: Impossible
- Our Box of Rain
- Pee Sticks & Stones
- Reproductive Jeans
- Road Blocks and Rollercoasters
- Road To Adopt
- Searching For Hope
- Secret Garden
- Sometimes It's the Destination
- SouthernInfertility
- Stickybean
- The Wonder Twins
- Three of A Kind, Working On A Full House
- waiting For. . . ?
- Waiting In Line
- We Are What We Repeatedly Do
- What to Expect When You Are Not Expecting
- Where the Road Takes Me
Places I Go To Dodge the Bullet
Bullets I've Taken
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2009
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November
(21)
- Need a Fix for BBQ Cravings?
- What Would YOU Do?
- Lost Treasures
- Taking Inventory
- The Easiest Dinner. Ever.
- A Normal OB Patient
- As If
- Night Owl
- Spot On
- The Nose Knows
- 13 DPO
- Password, PLEASE!
- 12 DPO. . . Hands Starting To Itch
- 11 DPO
- 10 DPO - Another Imaginative Title
- 9 DPO
- Yes. Yes, It Was.
- Just What the Doctor Ordered
- It Just Makes You Laugh
- In Which We TTC... Here We Go Again
- Thoughts of My Inner Subfertile
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November
(21)
8 comments:
Sorry, honey. I know how thankful you are for Will . . . . But its still okay to have hope and some "darn it" feelings.
Maybe if you just adopted?! Oh wait, that's the kind of F'ed up sh*t they say to me, LMAO.
you have such a beautiful attitude, matched by your beautiful little guy :o)
It's ok to be disappointed. As much as you love and adore Will, it doesn't take the sting away that IF has seemed to permanently place in our hearts.
So it's ok. Don't feel bad for feeling bad.
I'm disappointed too. I was very hopeful that you would be one of those people too.
Don't be disappointed in yourself for feeling that way. Don't let infertility take away from you what is your right as a woman to have - true, honest feelings... good or bad.
Never feel guilty to want more children!
Sorry it was a BFN today. *HUGS*
So sorry it was a BFN. :-(
There is nothing wrong with being disappointed. Having one child doesn't magically erase the desire for more (especially if you've always wanted more than one). I can't tell you how many times I was disappointed in the months following Lemy's birth and we were definitely not trying.
I'm so sorry that this time wad a BFN, but I have faith that a BFP is coming for you and I pray that it comes quickly. ((many hugs))
I'm sorry. I wish it had worked out this month for you.
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