The Nose Knows

Well, after taking the test at 13 DPO and not seeing even a hint of an evaporation line (and yes, true to POAS-aholic form, I did dig it out of the trash to check. Twice.), I decided that it really hadn't happened for us this month.

I went about my business, but I couldn't help but notice my ever-increasing need to pee, tender breasts, and vague crampy feelings. Oh, yeah, and no period even though I am very regular. So, after ignoring the signs for three whole days, I caved to the Pee Stick Goddess and bought a two pack of cheapie tests at Tar.get.

When Will and I got home from running errands, I took the test. The second line came up very quickly. The line is clearly there. No squinting, tilting, or taking the test apart.

I am pregnant.

A multitude of feelings washed over me. Excitement, happiness, fear, elation, anxiety, love, and more. I shed a few tears of happiness. No matter how many times you see that second line come up, it never fails to humble you and make you grateful for this gift of new life. I wondered what to do next. Clearly, tell my husband that his nose was right, after all.

But how? The Hall.mark, cheesy "You're gonna be a daddy again!" thing has never worked for us. What is supposed to be a happy moment turns bittersweet and I feel stupid for it later.

But that line. It's so dark.

I decided to heck with it. We deserve our Hall.mark moments and I am not going to doom this pregnancy from the beginning. I am not going to be all woebegone and sad. I am pregnant, gosh darn it.

I took the test and taped it to the inside of a small box. On the inside of the box, I wrote Baby (Last Name) and the Due Date. I wrapped it in Christmas paper and when M got home last night, I had Will carry the package to him. He said, "What's this?"

I told him that Will and I thought he should have the first gift of the holiday season. He opened it up and the huge smile that came over his face was pretty precious. It was definitely our Hall.mark moment as we stood there in the hallway, just the three (wait, now four!) of us. Will loves "group hugs," so he happily engaged in a long one with us.

I served dinner and we talked about a lot of other things, but New Baby kept coming up. When would I call the doctor? When would I have my first ultrasound? When should we tell people? When should we clean out the second bedroom? What projects needed to be done before I get too huge to help?

Will has been having some significant night waking the past week, so I have been exhausted. After getting him to bed at 7, we snuggled on the couch for a few minutes before I decided to head up early, desperate for a chunk of sleep. As I got up, M patted my tummy and said, "Night, Baby."

Awwww. Talk about Hall.mark.

I went upstairs to use the bathroom.

Brown.

Cruddy.

Spotting.

Not a ton, but definitely not a little.

I know, I know. It could be implantation spotting, irritated cervix, blah de blah blah blah. And I said I wasn't going to be all gloom and doom.

But still.