I know that both gestational diabetes and low iron levels are common in pregnancy.
I know that neither of those things are dangerous to me or the baby if handled properly.
I know that I have a competent medical team that will handle it properly.
I know that I can follow rules and instructions and be successful on any diet that I am given.
I know that nothing I did (or didn't do) caused these problems.
I know that, in the scheme of complications, GD is nothing. It's not even a complication, really, just more of a nuisance.
I know that, no matter what the test reveals tomorrow, everything will be fine.
I know that Little Man is doing great in there. He was moving and grooving last night like there was his own personal boxing match going on in there.
Even with all that I know, I am still upset about failing the 1-hour GTT. I just hate feeling like a "failure." I am used to not being terribly good at pregnancy, but I had allowed myself to be lulled into feeling like I could do it. Now, I am back to feeling uncertain again.
Proof of this was the bad dream that I had last night. I dreamt that the baby died and that for some strange reason, they wanted me to carry him to term. So, I had to walk around with a dead baby inside of me for 10 weeks. Everyone kept treating me the same, asking when I was due, if it was a boy or girl, and all I could do was cry. I woke up crying. I had to go drink some cold water and push on my tummy until Baby pushed back, no doubt very irritated that I was waking him up for something so trivial. I can just feel him plotting his revenge!
So, I know I am probably being silly. After all, we don't even know if I have GD or not. And so many people fail the one hour, then pass the three hour. I am really getting ahead of myself.
But it still scares me to have anything out of the ordinary happen. I was really enjoying normal.