Good-Bye, Hello

Good-bye 2008 . . .

2008 was a good year for my family and me. I was a little sad to see it go. My husband has a theory about even years being better than odd years. 2006 was the worst year of my life, so I don't necessarily agree with him, but I do have to say that 2008 was the best. We'll just have to wait and see what future years bring before I can make a final decree on which are better.

We had a very low-key evening. I had spent much of the morning at the doctor's (long story for tomorrow) and then getting some groceries in the afternoon. We had been invited to a pajama/kid-friendly New Year's party, but it got canceled at the last minute, so it was just the three of us (plus the fur kids) at home. I made some pasta for dinner, we exchanged gifts (we always save our gifts to each other for New Year's since we are away from home on Christmas), and then it was a battle to stay up until midnight! I think I was in bed by 12:10! What a difference a baby makes!

Earlier in the evening, we did one of my favorite New Year's tradition. After Gummy Bear died, my husband had a good idea. On New Year's Eve 2006, we each wrote a note to our Angel Babies, put them in a balloon, and released the balloon over the Puget Sound. It was a beautiful memorial service of sorts and just what I needed at that point in time to have some closure.

We decided to make it an annual tradition, to send notes to our babies and also include a wish for the New Year. We did it in 2007 when we had just found out that we were pregnant after our IVF cycle. It hardly takes a genius to wonder what my wish for 2008 was. Let's just say that it came true in the form of Little Man.

So when it came down to my wish for 2009, I found myself having nothing to wish for. I have been given such an amazing gift that there was nothing that I wanted. I mean, sure, I have desires for the usual superficial things, but there was just nothing that I needed from my heart. For the first time since my first miscarriage, my heart wasn't aching with a need.

I am one of the lucky ones and I know it.

So, my wish for 2009 is that those of you still waiting, still aching, still needing finally have your wishes come true. And I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

. . .Hello 2009!