Yeah, so it turns out that I am not great at keeping secrets.
I have had a lot of readers send me e-mails guessing what the big secret is. For the most part, they are right.
For the few that wondered if I was pregnant, the answer on that is no.
If you are really interested in knowing what all of the fuss is about, you can e-mail me and I am happy to share. I am just choosing not to post about a private decision in a public forum so that it doesn't possibly cause problems for us. You'll probably be a bit disappointed when you find out what the secret is. You'll probably think, "Is that all?!?"
Like most decisions in life, it's probably not as big as I think it is right now. For example, I remember being really torn about whether or not to actually do IVF. I felt like it was the "last stop" on the infertility road and if that didn't work, we would be out of options. I hemmed and hawed and it turned out to be the very best decision we've ever made. Ever.
Of course, that's what being human is all about. Weighing the pros, examining the cons, making lists of benefits, asking all of your friends, and second-guessing yourself. In the end, the best decision is usually pretty obvious to you, but it sometimes takes awhile to see it.
It is usually the decision that in your gut feels right. It's the decision that you argue for when everyone else argues against it. It's the decision that even when you feel like you've "made" the other choice, your heart keeps telling you what you really want to do. In the end, it doesn't matter how many pros are on your list, or how many friends say one way or the other, or even which one makes more "sense." It's the one that makes you feel better when you make it. You might always wonder about the path not taken, but usually, once you have decided to go down one road, you don't spend a lot of time looking back. Or if you did really mess up, you can use that experience to make different choices next time.
All that being said. . . I still don't know what to do, but I'll get there.