To Katie and Her Readers:
Thank you very much for posting my story and for the comments. It helps to know good wishes are being sent.
There were some questions as to our future plans and I guess the best way to sum it up is that right now we don't know what we are doing. We are still signed up with our agency, but have put our profile "On Hold," which means that we are asking not to be shown to birth moms for the time being. When our profile is active, we get at least one or two calls per week to meet with moms, and then we usually do an actual face-to-face meeting two or three times a month. This is higher than usual, but remember, we've been with the agency for a while and they are trying to get us matched, so they are pushing our profile to the top of the pile. Anyway, as I said, we are often the second choice, and it's very hard to face that rejection right now on top of everything else. The case worker that manages our file has promised to only call us if a perfect situation (for example, an already surrendered infant) comes up, and so far, the phone hasn't rang.
Todd and I are trying to come to terms with the fact that we might remain childless. We are not getting any younger, which makes us less-than-ideal candidates for domestic adoption and takes us out of the running for most international adoptions. We are not sure that we can continue living our life "On Hold" for much longer, so we might just decide to move on, as difficult as that is to imagine.