Thursday, July 24, 2008

Pre-Baby Blues

Thanks for the advice yesterday. I know it seems like a small detail - and it is - but I hate situations like this where I have to be the "bad guy." I love kids so much that I wouldn't have put the "no kids" label on the party, but C's house is at it's max, and she has a "vision" for the party that does not include children. Luckily, most of my guests either don't have children or live locally, so the only issue that I know of is Stacey.

Also, again, Stacey's kids are not really very well-behaved. I love them to death, but she is really bad about keeping after their behavior, especially when she feels that there are others around that can help out. For two years, she was on her own while her husband was in Iraq. I thinkthat a lot of people really felt sorry for her during that time and didn't mind taking the kids off of her hands so she could get some much needed rest - myself included. Now that her husband is back, however, I think people aren't so willing to jump in and help. For me, I don't mind helping at all, but as this pregnancy progresses, I am just not as physically able to do all that I once was.

Luckily, my husband is on board with trying to find a kid-friendly activity. C's son is only a year, while Stacey's kids are 4 and 6, but we'll think of something that they can all enjoy for the afternoon. So, that's hopefully that.

As for doing all that I once was able to do. . . I have hit some sort of wall this past week, emotionally and physically. I really don't know what happened. Not that I didn't have aches and pains and various complaints before, but I really felt that (for the most part) I was handling them with good humor. The last weekend, I don't know, something switched. I feel almost as if I am depressed or something, which is really weird. I have absolutely no energy. I mean none. Even with a full house of people for this weekend, I cannot motivate myself to get cleaning. I am not sad, per se, I almost feel as if I have no emotion.

I think that it's a product of doing way too much. After all, I have been working full time, keeping house, making meals, and then there have been the countless projects that have taken up my spare time. But then again, isn't this what every woman does? Most women I know are pretty darn active right up until their due dates. Right now, I can't even imagine working another week, let alone another five.

And then there is the shower. This is supposed to be a fun event, a time to relax and enjoy all of the important people in my life coming together to celebrate Little Man's impending arrival. Instead, I am stressed and irritated about all of the details and last minute "issues." This isn't me. This isn't my personality. I am not this much of a whiner or a complainer.

Anyway, this is more of a rant than anything else. I know that pregnancy is a roller coaster and I will likely be on the upswing again soon. I just have to hang on until then.


Jen said...

You're tired, my dear which is completely understandable at this stage of pregnancy. I'm a few weeks behind you but I've found that I can hardly stay awake at times during the past couple of weeks. So apparently my nesting phase is over. All you can do is take it easy, set priorities, and hang in there. You'll be meeting your little guy soon enough.

Jen said...

I'm glad that a solution is emerging.

It just sounds like you are overwhelmed. And no wonder, a lot of stuff is going on!

Korryn Phillips said...

I always read your blog but have never commented before...but this particular entry really struck a cord with me! I am in the same place that you are in!I am 34 weeks preggo and I am the one that does EVERYTHING around the house and takes care of most issues that occur in hubby and my daily life! I am finding it is hard on the ego when you are unable physically to do the things that you normally do! I find myself not even having fun at the normal things that would delight me. I am usually the one that is the life of the party and smiling and laughing no matter what occurs. It is hard to have fun and be yourself when you have gained weight that you are not used to carrying, are swollen to the max, and are exhausted! (At least those things describe me!) Just think about the wonderful bundle of joy that you are about to bring home and remember that after he is are not going to be able to do EVERYTHING that you once did. You will be mommy first and then the rest of it will fall into place. When I am feeling less than myself I think about my baby girl and remember that I am still physically making her...which means that I can not physically do everything else all at once! It stinks being a perfectionist doesn't it? Keep your chin up and know that your most precious days are ahead!

Joy said...

Everyone hits this point, especially toward the end. And you're right, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. In the next few weeks you'll get this itch to clean every surface and make sure everything is in order, a major adrenaline rush!

Sugar and Ice said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sugar and Ice said...

I just read both posts at once, so I wasn't able to offer any advice. Hopefully, it'll all work out and you can gently make her aware that the kids cannot come to the shower.

And what's up with your other friend saying you are a gift grubber?? Everyone has a baby shower these days.

July 24, 2008 1:59 PM

Fertilized said...

be more kind to yourself and let the expectations you have for yourself fall to the wasteside.. get your rest ... really DO it ..I know you are thinking it's impossible .. but you do not worry about a thing for 24 hours .. just let all the "things that need to be done" be done by someone else.. It gets rough towards the end

Polka Dot said...

I'm glad you were able to hopefully find a compromise on the child thing.

I expect your emotions and drain is because - woman you're tired! There isn't a pregnant woman I've ever known who didn't hit a brick wall and want to just lay there and do nothing until that baby was born. Especially if they were the main one taking care of things at home.

I say let your hubby know how exhausted you are and ask him to step in a bit. He may already be, but it sounds to me like you need a bit more help. Then resist like mad the urge to go behind him and redo things. Cuz I know you would ; )