So, I have another dilemma relating to my baby shower this weekend. I say another dilemma because it seems that there have been quite a few surrounding what should be a fun event. First, there was the incident where my one friend was offended by the invite and called me a gift grubber - haven't heard from her since. Then, there was an entire issue over my mom and sister not wanting to come (three hours was too long of a drive for them), then shocking me by RSVPing yes. Then, more drama with my sister not wanting to drive my mom (and my mom doesn't drive). Most of it has been pretty silly, and this latest event is no exception, but I want your advice.
I have a friend I will call Stacey. She and her husband have been our good friends for over five years. They have two boys, S and D. Stacey's husband is in the military, so they move a lot. They currently live in San Franciso, about a 16-hour drive from our house. I never would have expected Stacey to make this trip simply for my baby shower, but she insisted on coming, and I was pleased to invite her.
Stacey had originally planned to fly up for the weekend, but then decided that she would rather drive up with her two sons and spend some time with other friends and family that live in the area. Her husband is flying up Thursday to hang out with my husband during the shower and then drive home with them on Sunday. Stacey and the boys are all staying at her cousin's house, as her cousin is currently out of town, and it leaves them a lot more room than trying to cram into our not-so-extra space.
I have to say that I was very relieved that they weren't staying here. I love Stacey, her husband, and sons. But Stacey is not shy about letting them run wild when they are here. She sleeps late in the mornings and the boys will come and knock on our door until I get up to make them breakfast. The boys have no eating schedule and "free feed" all day, so one of them is always hungry. I don't have any problem making them food, but it was almost comical last time. I would get one of them fed, clean up from that feeding, and then the other would be hungry. Lather, rinse, repeat all day. When I am not pregnant, this can be tiring, but I was exhausted after their last weekend stay, and that was back when I was only about five months pregnant. They also climb all over our furniture and pretty much act like kids. This also doesn't normally bother me, but with other guests in the house this weekend plus people coming by to look at the nursery, I would have probably have been a little stressed constantly picking up after them.
Still, that's not the point of this blog. The point is that I had told Stacey that children are not being invited to the shower. There are almost 30 people coming and C is having her own son leave with her husband. I had just assumed that the boys would stay with Stacey's husband during the shower. I apparently assumed incorrectly.
Stacey had asked another local family member to watch the boys on Saturday, but that person is now unavailable. So, last night, Stacey left a message that she will be bringing the boys to the shower. I know that C will not be pleased. She has put a lot of effort into making this a really nice party. Stacey doesn't do a great job of keeping the boys quiet and usually just leaves them to their own devices. I definitely don't want to have them there, irritating other guests, and especially irritating C.
However, I feel a certain obligation to Stacey, too. After all, she has come all of this way. I feel rude telling her that she has to leave the boys with her husband, since that is obviously not what they want to do. I have given some thought to hiring a babysitter and offering to pay for it, but having never used a babysitter, I don't even know where to begin to find one, especially on relatively short notice. If I did find one, they would be a stranger, and I am not sure that Stacey would feel comfortable leaving her children with someone she didn't know.
So, what would you do?