Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Drowsy But Awake, My Arse

So, all of the sleeping books recommend putting your baby down "drowsy but awake."

Is my baby the only one that won't go to sleep this way?

I have been trying to do this for one nap a day and also at night. It doesn't seem to work with Will.

It starts out okay, in that he will lay there for a few minutes, sometimes fussing a bit or even completelyquiet. But as time goes by. . . the fussing starts and then escalates into full-fledged crying. Right now, I am staring at the monitor which has five green lights on it. I am okay if his fussing is at the one or two green light stage. When it gets to three, I start getting a bit nervous. When it is at four. . . excuse me while I go pick up and comfort my son, will you?

Okay, I am back. For the fifteenth time. The nursery is literally two steps from the office where I am typing.

The bars are already at five.

Crap. Drowsy but awake, my arse.

18 comments:

Life With Boogie & Sassy said...

Yeah, the books all suck. I know that a lot of people have had great success with The No Cry Sleep Solution, but I haven't tried it personally and I have no idea if it can be used on babies that young. I hope that you find something that works, though. Have you tried some white noise or a music box?

Fertilized said...

i NEVER got the drowsy nonsense to work until a week ago. He goes into the crib at night that way now for the past few nights. * i know that is no help for the immediate .. but hope for the future

~heather said...

I think the books are full of it. Seriously. My daughter never did the drowsy but awake thing until she was 4 months old I think. Do what works for you and if it's a problem in the future, correct it then. Don't over analyze. Some babies/kids don't follow the 'rules'. It's that simple. Only it took me almost 2 years to 'get it' with my daughter. Good Luck! It does get better!

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

Lemy never gets drowsy. Ever. She goes from 0 to 750 in like 10 seconds. What has helped me tremendously is that I've gotten a lot better at reading her tired signs. She starts to yawn a lot and rub her eyes and at night she starts screaming to the point where she is inconsolable. This is my indication to give her her bottle for the night and put her down with the pacifier.

99% of the time if I've paid attention to the signs she goes down, kicks, squirms and fusses a lot and falls asleep without little to no crying at all. She still wakes to feed though. On that note, I've heard feeding more throughout the day helps in getting them to sleep longer at night rather than just topping the last feeding off. I tried it and that has also helped.

Until I was really watching for those signs it was near impossible for her to sleep and forget napping--it never happened.

Hang in there. It will get easier! :)

InfertileMadWoman said...

Gah yeah I loved that piece of Assvice to.... try this sweetie....

They have these little seahorses at Walmart that are made by FisherPrice I think. (Think GlowWorm)They have a light in the belly, and play soft music. We also put a fan in her room on low, just for the noise.... no reason to waste money on a WhiteNoise Machine honestly, a fan works great. That is the ONLY thing that would get Turtle to put herself to sleep in her crib. Until he really learns to be tired on his own that may help... if not, they are a cute little toy. Hang in there sweetie, I SWEAR it gets better!!!!!

Rebel

Allison said...

it will happen...DD now goes down that way 10 months. I promise, it will happen....

Joy said...

NEVER worked for us! Don't buy into that. Every baby is different and needs their "own thing". I know someone who rocked her baby to sleep in their room, in the rocker every night. They just held them and hummed, knowing the time would fly by.

And their child isn't a spoiled monster because of it. They're a well-rounded individual (I think pre-teen now). And they sleep in their own room, through the night.

I say, "Cherish these moments before your little boy is too big to want his Momma to hug him. SOAK UP this time!"

Joy said...

Oh, and what I meant by it will NEVER happen--- I meant as a little baby. Of course older babies and toddlers go to bed awake!

Just tonight I laid my 18-month-old in her bed. She rolled over, stuck a pudgy hand through the bar and said, "Nigh-nigh Boo Boo" (nickname for her sister). Then she smiled and watched me walk out the room. Not a peep from her!

Tracy said...

It has worked for us...mostly. The only time we put them in their crib to sleep is at night. We really want to differentiate nightime sleep from daytime, so we dim the lights. Speak very quietly, if at all, and flip on the white noise machine. It's all very calm. Then we feed and change them, and lay them in their crib. So far so good, though I'm not counting any chickens.

With all that said, every baby is different, and what works for some won't necessarily work for others. Even though our two are doing *well* so far (God I hope I don't jinx myself) Rowan is far more fussier and requires a lot more cuddling.

Geohde said...

I make sure my two are fed, dry and warm.

Then I put them to sleep.

And leave them there unless a bomb explodes and we need to evacuate the building, so to speak.

And I don't have a monitor, so I don't hear unless it's really loud. And it never is any more.

I may be 'bad' doing these things, but we don't have sleep issues :)

J

Ms. J said...

Lemy gives good advice about watching for the signs for your child.

Forgive me if it's already been suggested . . . but since YOU need sleep, too, have you tried a recliner? You could hold Will while you both nap, potentially.

Also, is it possible that you could sleep with his sheets for a few nights or spritz some scent you wear on it, so that he would smell it in his crib and be comforted by it?

My husband swears by the lavender scent in the Joh.nson & Jo.hnsons Bedt.ime Bath stuff we use in Lil Pumpkin's baths (I know bathing an infant is different, though, and probably not neccesary to do daily like it is for our Playground & Dirt Queen).

Keep trying, you will find the right trick to help him stay down. And keep us updated - sometimes the strangest suggestion fixes it!

Tina said...

You are right, it's a load of crap ;)

Mine is 14 months and I still rock him to sleep. I think DH might put him in the crib at night and sit with him until he falls asleep.

As soon as you think you have it figured out they have a growth spurt, catch a cold, or get a tooth.

Don't worry too much about what the books say. Do what keeps you sane. :)

alison said...

My dear, I think you've been blessed with a beautiful, stubborn child. :) I'm sure mine will be no different. They just have a little extra bit of their mama's in them. ;)

Big hugs, I hope things start to settle down a big for you.

Jen said...

Someone has to be in charge of proving all the books wrong! It is nice that Will has started his activism so young.

Mel said...

Hang in there... You have been doing great and as hard as the bad days are, they won't last forever, right? I am so thankful I will have you there to remind me of the same when mine is driving me to tears.
*hugs*

Anonymous said...

i have so much to say on this topic but here is teh shorted version. if my son will only fall asleep while on my boob, so be it. the important thing is it gets him to fall asleep! then we put him in his crib. our problem was that when he woke up again, feeding him was the only way to get him back to sleep. but at 4.5 months, we started the whole - dont feed him every time he wakes up - routine. we waited that long bc he was 6 weeks early - so had he been born on time, i would have started it at 3 mos.

anyway, the first 2 weeks were rough. we should do everything to try to get him to sleep without the breast when he woke up. rocking, patting, sucking on paci, rolling on side so his reflux is not so bad, a blankie toy (yes, i know i'm going against all the "books" but he hugs it to sleep!) i'm proud to say that after 2 weeks of this, last night, he went down at 9:30pm as usual, woke at 12:45, then at 4:30 and then at 7:30. NOT TOO BAD! and he actually fussed about 5:30am, but put himself back to sleep pretty quickly.

i think the key thing we did was make sure that we didnt pick him up right away. patting on back, etc. then if he was about to wake himself up, then pick him up and rock him. we only fed him if he really was awake and upset.

i think he learned that if he woke up and there was no breast, then it wasnt worth getting up for. he only really gets up now when he's actually hungry.

Kristen said...

Yeah, that hasn't worked for us. We are still cosleeping and I plan to do it until he is 3-4 months and we can try CIO if need be. Right now, they are too young to soothe themselves. After reading about CIO, I don't think it is as cruel as the name leads you to believe.

For now, around 10pm, I take him to bed with me, turn out all the lights and nurse him until he conks out. This works 95% of the time. While I don't like the whole nursing to sleep thing, it works and I believe you have to do what you have to do to survive. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to wake up to work or be a normal functioning human being.

You're doing great, mama. You learn as you go and I'm figuring it all out along with you!

Sophie said...

Have to jump in. For me, the need for my sleep was greater than the need for sleep training. I ended up co-sleeping with my daughter before I knew what attachment parenting was, it just felt right (and everyone got enough sleep to be functional). Slowly that evolved, and now she's 3 1/2 and falls to sleep by herself in her own bed, in her own room. There is just no blueprint, darn it!!! That's why there are ten thousand sleep books (and why I have nine thousand of them). Personally I couldn't hear her cry and scream all by herself, maybe because like so many of us here it was such a long hard road to have her at all. And I really think it works itself out. My second baby (4 months old) seems to have a different teperment and MAY gently fuss himself to sleep one of these days. Lattes, tears sometimes, and trust that one day this will seem so far away...