After our third miscarriage, I said, "Enough." Actually, I kind of yelled it at my OB/GYN who did not feel that we had a problem. Since I have good insurance and I don't need referrals, I was able to get into a reproductive endocrinologist in Seattle.
We had all of the tests done, both my husband and I, and nothing came up abnormal. Quite the opposite, actually. I was textbook normal and so was my husband. We didn't have problems getting pregnant, so I guess that wasn't too surprising, but it was disappointing to not have a reason for our losses. During the testing, we had a fourth loss, and then after all of our tests came back with no results, she gave us the green light to try again. We got pregnant right away and this pregnancy made it to 11 weeks, with great heartbeats and appropriate growth seen on our weekly ultrasounds. When that baby died, it was like someone ripped my heart out of my chest, stomped it on the ground, tore a huge piece out of it and then stuffed it back under my rib cage and said, "Okay, go on living."
I had a D&C so that we could get pathology done on the fetal tissue, but there were also no results from that loss. We then had chromosomal testing done on my husband and I, and once again, nothing comes up as being out of whack.
Our fertility specialist decided that the way to approach our situation is to create "The Perfect Cycle." This means that I take a lot of different medications that mess with my eggs and create. . . Super Eggs. I am not conceited about my egg quality, but that is truly the medical term for the eggs created by sucking all of the estrogen from my body during days 3 through 7 of my cycle by taking a cancer drug called Femara. On day 12, I go in for an ultrasound, if the Super Eggs are big enough (bigger than 17 mm), then I get a huge shot in the booty of HCG. Then, I take a cocktail of progesterone, increased folic acid, and baby aspirin from 3 DPO until I get my period.
My husband and I decided that we needed a break from all of the madness, so we waited six months to start with the fertility treatments. June was our first month trying and everything seemed perfect, but nada. In July and early August, we missed ovulation, so nada.
We started our fourth cycle on Friday, August 17. Instead of waiting for Day 12 for our follicle ultrasound, we did a day 10 check, which was today. My husband with me and we nervously waited to see if we had missed ovulation yet again. But great news! I have two follicles, waiting to drop, so an increased chance of pregnancy. I received my HCG trigger shot and now, we just do our thing at home and wait an unbelievably long 17 days to see if it worked.
So, I am now in the infamous Two Week Wait (plus 3). This is going to be interesting. I literally go crazy during this time of my cycle. I don't think it is insider trading to tell you to buy stock in whatever company manufacters the First Response Early Response tests. I think it is safe to estimate that I take about ten tests between 12 and 15 DPO.
I used to be normal. But I must confess, I passed that a long time ago. The journey begins.
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5 comments:
Hi Katie,
I just found your blog and wanted to say I'm very sorry for your losses. I've had two losses myself and often wonder how much more I must deal with before we hold a baby in our arms.
I wanted to wish you lots of luck this cycle. I will be crossing my fingers for you!
~Kristen
hi Katie. i'm here via Mel's Lost and Found.
i'm so sorry for your losses. it's just so heartbreaking. i know that words do little justice to your experience.
best of luck to you for this cycle..i hope it's an end to the mad rollercoaster for you.
I found you through Lost and Found as well. I've been through a miscarriage and I can't imagine how painful and hard this has been for your. I hope this one goes the way it should and you don't have to go through another one.
I'm so sorry about your losses! I will be praying for this cycle to be the one!
Thank you so much, for reading, for responding, for your thoughts and prayers. I will have my fingers crossed right back at you!
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