Just Me

I realize some of these entries (or maybe all of them?) are a little down.

I guess I could come here and write a sunshine and lollipops entry about how wonderful life with three children is.  While there are definitely some fantastic moments, mostly, life with a newborn and two other small children is HARD.

I am not sure if there is something lacking in me, personally, or if everyone has problems with the transition from two to three.  The problem is that I don't know anyone in real life with more than two kids. . . unless they are much older and the newborn days and haze are long behind them. 

I do know a few bloggers with more than two children, but when I read their blogs, I don't see a lot of issues with the transition.  So.  Maybe it's me.  Maybe I am just not great at parenting three kids.  YET.  I do believe that I am a good mom.  And perhaps that is even part of the problem right now.  Because even running as fast as I can and barely taking time to eat or shower, I feel like I am falling short of everyone's expectations.

I also don't function well on lack of sleep.  I learned this during Will's newborn phase.  I mean, I actually can do okay for a few days, maybe even a week.  But after several weeks of poor pregnancy sleep, and now week three of poor sleep and c-section recovery, I am feeling the effects of it.  I was actually doing "okay" with it until Drew got sick. 

Yep.  Drew caught the crud.  He is miserable.  His little nose is so congested that he can barely nurse.  He will not sleep in his bed for more than twenty minutes.  But even if I take him to bed with me, he doesn't sleep much longer.  My nipples are sore from all of the comfort nursing I've been doing, just to get a half hour of sleep here and there. 

Emma is a mess.  She wants my attention all of the time.  No one else will do.  From when she gets up in the morning, til she goes to bed at night, she wants me to do everything for her.  As this is not possible, she is spending a lot of the day in tears.  And though I know it won't kill her to cry, it makes me feel awful to listen to it.  It doesn't help that she is just now getting over the crud and hasn't been feeling well.

Will is doing the best out of the three.  He is still very sweet and helpful with Drew, but we have definitely had more opposition from him.  He is talking back and saying no more and more, which means I have to constantly be on him so that this doesn't become a bigger issue.

I do know this will all get easier and better.  I am curious, however, for my readers out there with more than two kids. . . is it just me or his parenting three (or more) kids just really hard in the beginning (or always)?