Saturday, November 3, 2012

Just Me

I realize some of these entries (or maybe all of them?) are a little down.

I guess I could come here and write a sunshine and lollipops entry about how wonderful life with three children is.  While there are definitely some fantastic moments, mostly, life with a newborn and two other small children is HARD.

I am not sure if there is something lacking in me, personally, or if everyone has problems with the transition from two to three.  The problem is that I don't know anyone in real life with more than two kids. . . unless they are much older and the newborn days and haze are long behind them. 

I do know a few bloggers with more than two children, but when I read their blogs, I don't see a lot of issues with the transition.  So.  Maybe it's me.  Maybe I am just not great at parenting three kids.  YET.  I do believe that I am a good mom.  And perhaps that is even part of the problem right now.  Because even running as fast as I can and barely taking time to eat or shower, I feel like I am falling short of everyone's expectations.

I also don't function well on lack of sleep.  I learned this during Will's newborn phase.  I mean, I actually can do okay for a few days, maybe even a week.  But after several weeks of poor pregnancy sleep, and now week three of poor sleep and c-section recovery, I am feeling the effects of it.  I was actually doing "okay" with it until Drew got sick. 

Yep.  Drew caught the crud.  He is miserable.  His little nose is so congested that he can barely nurse.  He will not sleep in his bed for more than twenty minutes.  But even if I take him to bed with me, he doesn't sleep much longer.  My nipples are sore from all of the comfort nursing I've been doing, just to get a half hour of sleep here and there. 

Emma is a mess.  She wants my attention all of the time.  No one else will do.  From when she gets up in the morning, til she goes to bed at night, she wants me to do everything for her.  As this is not possible, she is spending a lot of the day in tears.  And though I know it won't kill her to cry, it makes me feel awful to listen to it.  It doesn't help that she is just now getting over the crud and hasn't been feeling well.

Will is doing the best out of the three.  He is still very sweet and helpful with Drew, but we have definitely had more opposition from him.  He is talking back and saying no more and more, which means I have to constantly be on him so that this doesn't become a bigger issue.

I do know this will all get easier and better.  I am curious, however, for my readers out there with more than two kids. . . is it just me or his parenting three (or more) kids just really hard in the beginning (or always)?


Sunny said...

Well, you know that I struggle with my 4 kids! Since #2 and #3 were twins, I can't really comment on that transition. But it's DAMN hard for me now, and I wish I was doing it better. But it is what it is. Another IRL friend of mine said the transition from 2 to 3 kids was really hard for her, although I didn't know her then. It's not just you, K. It's not.

(And have you tried the Nosefrida with Drew? Kinda cool and helpful.)

Hang in there!

HereWeGoAJen said...

Oy, we are having serious transition problems here too. And I'm exhausted.

I do second the nosefrieda recommendation. Except ours is a comfynose. Works great, especially combined with a bottle of baby saline. (Babies don't agree, I call it "waterboarding" when I do it to Ryan.)

And sleep deprivation solidarity.

Anonymous said...

I only have one (he's four) and I'm about to have #2, but my son's little buddy is one of three. She mentioned that the transition to three was very hard "because we are outnumbered." When you have two parents and two kids I think it's easier to handle problems when they arise.

Good luck!!

Beth said...

it's the sleep! It definitely starts with the sleep...I SO do not do well with lack of sleep. Wish we lived closer - I'd totally let you take a nap!

And it will get better once everyone is well. Sickness & lack of sleep is just pure torture!

I don't know...I have 4 and the youngest is 19 months, and I still feel like a crazy person sometimes, and other times? I feel like a total rockstar.
And by that I mean that everyone has clean clothes and we actually get somewhere on time.

Hugs to you, Katie!

Becky said...

I have three now as you know. Most of the time I gel like I am fighting an uphill battle. I hope it gets easier as Isobella gets older. Will the younger two just 14months apart, I am dealing with two babies pretty much.

I know it sounds selfish, but I am so glad I am not the only one.

My aunt has 8 kids. I think I would run away from that many. She's superwoman.

Elise Ford said...

I'm interested in seeing the responses because I have two kiddos (almost 4 and 17 mos) and am expecting #3. Everyone I've talked to IRL has told me how easy the transition is from 2-3. I'm not sure what to think. I'm hoping I have an easier time than I did going from 1-2. That was really, really hard on me. One thing I have going for me - I do okay with sleep deprivation. I guess we'll just see; it's probably a different experience for everyone. Hope your babies get better soon and that you get some sleep!

A'Dell said...

You know, I think babies are just HARD. I mean, if someone handed me another 4-year-old I wouldn't think that was nearly as tough as when the nurse hands me another BABY.

So I don't think anyone is BAD at parenting multiple kids, I think that's kind of a silly idea actually. I just think babies require SO MUCH ENERGY AND TIME AND BRAIN SPACE it doesn't leave a lot to brush one's own teeth with, much less attend to the frequent needs of other small children. There will be less time for everyone now that there's a whole other person and everyone just needs to adjust to that. Only 24 hours in the day and you only have two hands, you know?

So, anyone raising an eyebrow at you can shut up. (if anyone is raising an eyebrow?) The idea that you should be able to just HANDLE it, seamlessly, is kind of absurd. I mean, I would like to see an eyebrow raiser HANDLE it. (Pffft!)


You are doing great, awesome even. One day at a time, keep plugging away, every day will be better than the last.