Thursday, July 7, 2011

Secret Confessions Of A Mom

I have a confession to make. I hate the kids museum. Whew, it felt good to say that.

When we first got our membership to the kids museum, I LOVED it. We went at least once a week. Now, I rarely go, and when I do I spend much of the time wishing that I hadn't. I actually have developed a love/hate relationship with the place. . . as in, I love to hate it. Here is why I hate the kids museum:

1) Germ Factory

Will (and now Emma) seem to get sick within a few days of a visit to the place. Enough said.

2) Two Ships Passing in the Night

Many times, I meet a friend and her child(ren) at the museum. And I use the word "meet" rather loosely, because that's about all we'll do: meet there and then wave to each other as our kids lead us to different exhibits.

3) Other Kids (Or Rather, Other Parents)

Now, my son is not perfect. That is what I am for. When he hits, or doesn't share, or thinks that he needs to make a train that is eleventy billion cars long on the train table and hog the drawbridge for a half hour, or [insert here], it is up to me, as his parent, to make sure he does the right thing. Unfortunately, there are a lot of parents at the museum who park it on a bench with a book and consider that they are "off-duty" while their child terrorizes the place. Now, I have seen this happen in other locations, but it seems to happen to a greater degree/frequency at the kids museum.

4) The Water Room

This is such a cool room and I feel like such a drip (ha, ha, pun intended) for not enjoying it, but honestly, I hate the fact that Will is going to be soaking wet after visiting this room. Yes, I bring a change of clothes, but then I have to carry them around, then carry the soaking wet clothes around, and I am already carrying EMMA around. If I can help it, we visit this room last.

5) Tantrum-City

This is not the fault of the museum, but lately, Will has a huge tantrum when we leave the kids museum. My mom would call this payback as I apparently did this to her whenever we would live OMSI when I was a child. Whatever the reason, it only adds to my intense dislike.

6) The You Can't Take It With You Policy

They have a phenemonal art studio in which it is free to make a fun, amazing, intriguing craft. . . which you cannot take with you. They keep all of the artwork to "display," which is a cool idea for older kids, but Will doesn't get the idea of leaving his work so others can appreciate it. Also, I highly suspect they do no display all of the artwork (I have yet to see any of Will's "masterpieces" out for public consumption), so I don't know why they can't let him keep what he has made. The first time this happened, I thought "Lesson Learned," no more art studio. But Will wants to make a craft each time we are there and he also wants to take it home. So, either way, it's an issue. Sigh. I actually did ask last time, and the reason that they don't let them keep them is because it would be a hazard (and messy) for them to run around upstairs with their projects. I get it, I do, but my two year old doesn't. I suggested that they have a place where kids can pick up their projects on the way out, and the teenaged Art Attendant rolled her eyes at me and said, "We don't have time to do that."

Oh. Okay then.

7) The Exit Is Over THERE

In a ploy of true marketing genius, the only exit out of the museum is through the gift shop (mostly filled with toys he has just played with and now covets). So, I have to take my already screaming, tantruming toddler out through a Place of All Things He Wants And I Am NOT Buying Him? If he wasn't already throwing a fit, he certainly would be now.

8) We Have One Of Those At Home

I think the biggest salt in my wound is that Will's favorite exhibit at the museum isn't the cool theater, glow room, outdoor playground, airplane, or even the dreaded water room. . . it's the freakin' train table.

Now, granted, it's probably the coolest train table ever created, but it's still a train table. And he has one of those at home. I would understand if he played with other kids at the train table, but instead he wants to hog all of the trains by making the aforementioned longest train ever. He gets upset if another kid tries to take their train past his trains on the track.

If he wants to play trains by himself and hog all of them? He can do that at home. So, in order to put up with all of the other things that I dislike about the museum and then have him just play with the trains?

Like I said, I know it's not very "momish" of me to admit this, but I just don't like the kids museum. And yet I go because he loves it so very much . . . which I guess makes me a good mom in spite of my inner dislike.


And so it goes said...

Love this post! I don't blame you one bit for your love/hate relationship- just reading the post made me want to pull my hair out, and I don't even TRULY know yet what it will be like.

Christy said...

This is a wonderful post, and comes at a perfect time! Andrew and I braved our Children's Museum today and I'm still wondering just what in the world I was thinking when I thought it would be a good idea today.

A New Beginning said...

Well said!

HereWeGoAJen said...

We've only been once, but I am glad our kid's museum is so far away.

It Is What It Is said...

I've eschewed places for less than half the reasons you mentioned.

You are a far better woman than I as I would not go back until my son was like 12.

AwkwardMoments said...

Amen! Cheers to you for posting this. I love real moments of parenthood

Searching said...

I wouldn't be in love with that either! You are an amazing mom. Lucky, lucky babies!

Mel said...


There are SO many kid things that I hate deep down inside. Especially right now, because I am massively huge and hot and everything for kids takes SO MUCH EFFORT. Seriously? Just going to the back yard to swim is a beating.

peesticksandstones said...

Mmm-hmm, sister. Totally with you. I think the part I hate most, though, are many of the yicky (entitled, jerky, not-nice) parents I often encounter at these places.

I also liked that last sentence. Just today I was congratulating myself on gritting my teeth and letting my little dude splash in dirty puddles in near-100 degree weather, and messing up his nice pants while I sat silently and had a semi heat-stroke. But whatever. Love that guy.

Sorry to have been such a stranger. Haven't felt very "bloggy" in a while, but have missed you. Hugs!