When I submitted my resignation from Johnson & Johnson back in February, it was with very mixed emotions. Not only did I wonder what would become of us financially, but I worried how I would feel about giving up my alter-ego-career-woman personality.
It turns out that I didn't miss working as much as I thought I would. I did miss some of the coworkers that had become friends in my time with the company, but I didn't miss the politics and the superficiality of wearing this suit with those shoes and that necklace to the big meeting. I missed my wonderful customers, I missed the feeling that I was helping people, I missed that exhilerating charge of landing a new contract, but I didn't miss the piles of paperwork and BS justify-my-job stuff we had to do.
And as for the financial stuff, we certainly aren't starving and we have more than what we need to get by. There are days when I wish we could go out to dinner and I get tired of clipping coupons, but we do get out at least once a couple times a month and I get a teeny little rush from watching the totals fall after my coupons are applied at the register.
I really loved dedicating myself to Will in his first year. I wouldn't trade that for the world.
But we are on a schedule now. He naps for several hours a day, the house isn't immaculate, but it's back up and running, with laundry folded, refrigerator stocked, and the cobwebs mostly at bay. I am exercising daily, the dogs and cat are no longer ignored, and life has a certain predictability to it that made me start feeling as if I should throw a monkey wrench in it all again.
A few weeks ago, I decided to look for a parttime, work-from-home job. I didn't want anything that would have been on a strict schedule, require any traveling, or customer face-time. I wanted to do it all from home and with some flexibility in case Will was having an off day and needed a little extra mama time.
I applied for all sorts of jobs. Man, it's tough out there. Not so much getting a job, but trying to figure out if it's a scam. In the end, I was offered many so-called work-from-home "jobs," but most of them were not real "offers," but rather get-rich-quick scams. I finally feel as if I have been offered a decent job. It's decent in that, if I make my quota and actually sell, it will pay off. I have a signed contract and a good commission structure, and I only have to work a few hours a day. I am hopeful that I can find a way to make this all work. Wish me luck!
Also, as an aside, I am considering taking my e-mail off of my profile. I have been getting a lot of not-so-nice mail lately and it has kind of turned me off of blogging. Rather than give up here altogether, I think I am just going to take that contact option off of my blog. It pains me, as I always wanted to be available to those that needed help, but I don't deserve to be a punching bag, either. I am going to give it a few days, so if you want to keep in touch via e-mail, make sure to take note of that soon. Thanks!