Wednesday, March 14, 2012

This Can't Be It

I have posted about my good friend before. She is the friend who was a ROCK for me during my infertility years, the friend that was there for me through every single miscarriage, failed cycle, and finally, successful cycle. She is the friend who called me, who sent cards, who forced me to eat after we lost Gummy Bear. She cried with me, prayed with me, and then. . . she laughed and celebrated with me. She was the first of my friends to hold newborn Will. She is the friend who gave me our beautiful high chair as a gift.
She has been trying to have a baby for nearly two years, experiencing two heartbreaking miscarriages, and being diagnosed with "unexplained" infertility. She was just about to start her suppression cycle in February when she hurt her knee skiing. She stayed off of it for a few days, tried ice, tried NSAIDs, tried ignoring it, but realized it was a serious injury and, as she is a runner, she knew she needed to have it looked at.
She didn't just "hurt" her knee, she tore her ACL. Her doctor recommended getting the surgery to repair it prior to becoming pregnant, as pregnancy and a torn ACL aren't a great combination.
The last thing she wanted to do was a surgery that would delay her IVF cycle, but through the miracle of great timing, her surgeon had an opening in his schedule and she was able to have the surgery done AND would still be able to proceed with her IVF cycle as planned.
She had the surgery two weeks ago. She started Lupron a week ago.
I talked to her this morning. She seemed fine. She was upbeat, excited to really be feeling better, excited to be moving through the Lupron without too many ill effects, looking forward to getting this IVF cycle really underway and finally becoming a Mommy!
An hour after we got off the phone, my phone rang again. As we often talk more than once a day, I thought nothing of it. I answered it and my world came to a screeching halt.
It was not her on the other end of the line.

It was her husband.
Calling from the ICU.
She had suffered a pulmonary embolism and had coded already at the hospital. Her vitals and prognosis were very poor.
They don't have family in the immediate area and he was all alone. I was forty five minutes away, but I turned my car around and drove as carefully and quickly as possible.
When I arrived, she was coding again.
We sat. We cried. We prayed.
She managed to make it through a procedure that was able to remove 20% of one of the blood clots. But there are so many that remain.
She is in a medically induced coma, on life support. They have done what can be done. Now, we wait. We wait and pray that she doesn't throw another clot, because her body can't take another surgery at this point. We wait and pray that she lives.
I know life isn't fair.
I know that.
But this cannot be it. This cannot be the ending that my friend gets. It just can't.
I know not all of my readers pray. But if you do, please. Please pray.
And if you don't, then please do whatever you do in times like this.

31 comments:

Studentrntiffany said...

Sending prayers. Sending love. Sending all the hope I can.

Ms. J said...

Praying for her, for him, for you.

Amy B said...

This post broke my heart. Praying for you and her and her family. This is another reminder of what I take for granted. Getting ready to smother my boys and husband with kisses.

Michele said...

Oh my God. Praying right now and going to our home altar to light a candle for her and for all of you who love her so much.

It Is What It Is said...

OMG, routine knee surgery is NOT supposed to end like this in otherwise healthy adults. OMG, the worry her husband, friends, and family must be enduring. I am sure they are in shock...I am, just reading this and I don't know her.

I am SO sorry for her. I will send up healing and comforting thoughts. Please keep us posted.

Hugs.

Peg said...

sending good thoughts for all of you.

Becky said...

Sending prayer and hugs.

SurlyMama said...

Saying prayers for your friend, her family and for you.

HereWeGoAJen said...

Sending you lots of love and prayers.

KH99 said...

Sending prayers and strength to you, your friend and her family. I am so sorry.

marwil said...

Oh my god.These shouldn't have to happen. so unfair. Sending hopeful thoughts to your friend and family. This must be such a shock for you as well. hugs.

Mo and Will said...

sending all of my thoughts to your friend that she is able to pull through.

Mo

EmHart said...

I am sending every wish I have that your friend can make it through this. I am so sorry, this is truly heartbreaking.

Serenity said...

Here from IWII's blog. I'm holding you and your friend in my heart and sending healing vibes into the universe.

Hugs to you in the meantime.

xoxo

loribeth said...

Here from the Lushary at Stirrup Queens. Life can change in the blink of an eye. It's scary. :(

I am so sorry & sending prayers & positive thoughts for your friend's fast & full recovery.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Holding both you and your friend in my heart. Sending 1000 good thoughts for a quick recovery.

areyoukiddingme said...

Hoping your friend will pull through - it sounds like she usually has strength to spare..

Ann Z said...

I am so sorry. Praying for healing for your friend, and strength and comfort for her husband and for you.

Mali said...

This is such a sad and terrible reminder that what we often think of as the worst case scenario so often isn't - but we're only reminded of that when the worst case scenario presents itself. I'm here from Mel's Lushary too, and sending love and hope that your friend will get through this.

Jo said...

Oh no. I am so, so, so, sorry to hear this. I am not a prayer, but I'm sending all the positive vibes I can muster your friend's way. The universe is a fucking unfair place. I hope against all odds that she wakes up from this.

Hugs,
Jo

Mrs. Misfits said...

Prayers sent your way. I am hoping that she's okay. It is incredibly scary.

Glass Case of Emotion said...

I was referred from another blog but will be sending prayers/ positive vibes and all else I can muster to the universe.

Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

My heart is breaking for her...and you.

When I had knee surgery, they mentioned this as a concern, but I didn't take it seriously enough until the doctor really got in Husband's face. It's all too common with knee surgery and this CANNOT be the end that your friend gets...so scary.

Please update when you can...

Orodemniades said...

Wow, prayers sent.

A Shadow of My Former Self said...

Here from the Lushary also. I am sending my best wishes for no further complications and for strength and hope for full recovery. So very sorry.

Joy@WhenDoesDaddyComeHome said...

Prayers! I read it aloud to my husband so we could pray together. Such a shock and so heartbreaking!

Annalien said...

Oh no, I am so sorry. Praying for you all.

Anonymous said...

Thinking good thoughts for your dear friend and her husband (and you!). Please keep us updated on her recovery. Sooooooo outrageously unfair!

Gil said...

Here from Mel's Lushary to say, oh dear Lord. This isn't supposed to be what happens when you have "routine" surgery. I am praying so hard for your friend, her husband, and all of their friends that things turn around. Please God, let things turn around... and FAST. Love to all. Please update us when you can.

alison said...

So many prayers being sent. xo

JustHeather said...

Sending many positive thoughts and get well vibes your friend's way!