Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Weaning: Not Just For Babies

Will is eight months old. And I think he is losing interest in breastfeeding.

I have such mixed emotions about this. Part of me is kind of ready to get on with the show. After all of the infertility crap, then pregnancy, and now nursing, I am ready to have my body back.

I also know with the greatest certainty that I will miss our tender moments together. Some of the sweetest times of my motherhood journey so far have been when Will has been at my breast. When he was sick these past few weeks, it was so nice to just go to bed with him and let him nurse. It gave me the much needed time to rest and him the opportunity to get exactly what he needed/wanted to feel better. I am not sure what we will do without that particular weapon in our arsenal.

However, I have noticed that a lot of the times now, he will nurse for just a few minutes on each side and then he is done. I know they get efficient at getting the milk out, but he doesn't seem to be stopping because he is full, but rather because the dog barks or his Daddy comes into the room. Sometimes, when I lay him down on my lap, he starts to laugh, as if he is excited for his meal, but then I put the breast in his mouth and he just keeps laughing. He will not latch or feed. This doesn't happen every time, but between this and the short feeds, I just feel as if weaning is definitely in progress. I am not going to say we are "done" breastfeeding, but the doesn't seem far away.

It's funny, because at first, when I thought about weaning him, it seemed so very far away. I thought about how much he loved The Boob and didn't think he would ever get to the point where he decided he was done. I figured it would be me that ended this phase of our life. Now, it looks as if I am the one who will be left behind. Just the beginning, I suppose. This is just one of the first of many, many steps toward independence. . . for him and for me.


Jen said...

Aw, you are making me sad too. But I am sure you know what you are doing. :)

Maria said...

Breastfeeding seems like such an amazing way to bond that I can kind of imagine your pain at Will showing signs of weaning. I think watching your baby grow more independent is probably a bitter sweet thing for most moms.


Tracy said...

You know we aren't nursing anymore, but Evan, especially, is going through the same thing with his bottle, and Rowan is too to some degree. They just aren't interested. I know that your Will loves solids as much as my twosome, so I'm sure he's getting enough. I actually called my pedi I was so concerned about it!

It is a rite of passage, though. (((Hugs)))

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

You know, Lemy sometimes does that same thing, but I've always attributed it to that fact that there are distractions since once I remind her the boob is available she commences eating until the next distraction. Have you tried nursing in a quite place? That works best for us.

Either way, I'll be thinking of you. I know how hard this has to be as I dread it myself. ((MANY HUGS))

Fertilized said...

AH, I am sorry for the weaning process for you both

Kristen said...

I have the same fear with Nate. He is so active these days that he can't sit still long enough to eat. He twists and turns onto his belly, pulling off and examining my nipple.

I am hoping it is just a phase and it will pass. I'd feel so good to make it to a year of breastfeeding but I am going to follow his lead.

Joy said...

No matter what happens I know it's an emotional journey to end breastfeeding! Oh it hurts the Momma more than the child.

What he's doing sounds normal for his age, actually. They tend to want to "play" instead of eat and they can eat for a few minutes and be done because they're so effiecient.

Again, no matter what happens he's a healthy and happy baby boy! It's just one of those things that makes you want to cry to think about because they're just growing up!

Mel said...

This post breaks my heart. I cried at the hospital when L was born just imagining that we would ever have to give BF up. I still cannot bear to think about it.