Wednesday, April 16, 2008

To Nicole . . .

My heart aches for you and I am so sorry for your loss*.

I remember the pain and hurt of my first miscarriage as if it happened yesterday. I did not go to the ER, because the doctor on call told me that there was nothing that they could do for me. I remember sobbing on my husband's lap, knowing in my heart of hearts that it was over, and yet that same heart did not want to let go.

I encourage you to find a way to memorialize this baby that you have lost. It was the best way for me to start to emotionally recover. I treasure the things in my "miscarriage basket" and go through them from time to time. I do want to look forward, but I never want to forget. Our little angels have made me who I am.

Again, I am so sorry and I wish you peace, healing, and comfort in the days and weeks ahead. E-mail me if there is anything else that I can do.

*Nicole left me a comment for the last post and had a miscarriage at 6 weeks, 2 days.


Jen said...

Nicole, I am so sorry.

I bought a ring for my lost baby, in the birthstone it would have had.

Joy said...

Jen, that's a wonderful idea, one I hadn't ever thought of.

Nicole, sorry for your loss! I, too, had an early miscarriage. I still have the pregnancy stick and we named the baby Aaron (it means "Enlightened"). There are so many things you can do to memorialize your little one.

Maria said...

Nicole, I am so very sorry for your loss.

I haven't experience a miscarriage, but when my first IVF failed I felt as though I had. I had a picture of my embryo, Mole, and loved him so much, like he was already a part of me. It was heart wrenching when I lost him (knew he didn't implant). I know it's not the same as an actual miscarriage, but it really helped me heal by giving Mole's picture a special safe place.

Fertilized said...

Oh Nicole - I am so sorry to hear of the sad loss for your family.

Antigone said...

No matter how small the child the loss is still significant.