Whew! Monday was certainly an exciting day. It still keeps hitting me that we are having a boy. And the anatomy scan was a turning point for me of sorts. I am really starting to B-E-L-I-E-V-E that this will actually happen, that this baby will be born, healthy and in one piece. I am sure that as the days pass, some fears will come again. However, our little man looked so healthy on that screen, and everything seems okay for now. So, for the time being, I am at peace, and loving every minute of it.
It's fun telling people the gender. One thing always surprises me, though, and that is that everyone assumes my HUSBAND is thrilled. They will say things like, "Oh, Daddy must be happy" or "How excited IS your husband?" Part of me gets it: Daddies and their little boys, and part of me wants to say, "Yes, he's happy, but I am excited, too." And the funny thing is, my husband truly had no preference. He IS happy that our baby is a boy, but I know he would have been just as happy with a girl. Yes, he is smiling right now, but I think that is more due to the fact that our little one is healthy, rather that what is between his little legs.
It's not a big deal, really, I just think it's funny that people just assume a man wants a boy and a woman wants a girl. Of course, pregnancy is funny like that, it brings out a lot of stereotypes.
Now that the business of health and gender is taken care of, it's really time to start planning the nursery. I have a long term love affair with Clas.sic P.ooh and have always thought about doing a baby's room in that theme. However, now that the time is here, there are so many cute options for a nursery. We have thought about this design, which I love, but looks hard to keep clean. Here is another one that I think is just too cute for words, and you know how much we love dogs around here. My husband really likes this one, and thinks that we could make this theme last a long time, thus being a little more economical. Finally, this one from Tar.get, the Clas.sic Pooh. I really like all of them, so it will be hard to choose.
And don't get me started on choosing a crib, stroller, car seat, etc. Clothes, books, pacifiers, little things like that are easy, so we have a lot of those things on our registry, and we have plenty of time to decide on the rest.
I was talking to a friend on the phone yesterday, who has been with me since day one of this infertility journey. She was the first person outside of my husband that knew about our first pregnancy and the first person I called after I had my blood drawn for the hcg beta that diagnosed the first miscarriage. We were talking about things other than Baby (can you imagine?) and she said, "You know what, Katie, you sound like your old self. I haven't heard you sound this good in years."
She's right, I can feel parts of my old happiness seeping through. This scares and delights me all at once. I don't think that I will ever be 100% who I was before. Infertility has changed me in so many ways, but I do think it's possible that elements of my pre-miscarriage personality will come back.