No news from either doctor. I am in a frustrating holding pattern.
A commenter mentioned two alternative treatments: TMS and ketamine injections. Neither of those are viable options for me. TMS is contraindicated in patients with epilepsy and my insurance won't pay for it, plus Dr. A won't do it. End of story. My insurance also won't pay for ketamine injections, as it is an off-label use of the medication. A series of ketamine injections, not including the upkeep injections which are recommended monthly, is about $6000 in the Seattle area. We simply don't have the money for this. I already had an expensive, week-long hospital stay this year in March.
I don't have a lot to say right now. My brain feels foggy and stuffed. I am having a rough day today, where I feel anxious and overwhelmed. As usual, my feelings are off kilter to my reality. I have no reason to feel this way, but try telling that to my brain!
I spent three hours of my day in bed. During most of that time, I argued with myself, trying to get myself out of bed. I finally managed to do so and then talked my reluctant kids into a walk. It is a gorgeous, sunny day and I was hoping getting out would help. While it certainly didn't hurt, and I am glad that I forced myself out, I was anxious on the entire walk and have been alternatively in tears and having a panic attack since getting back.
I don't know what is next but I hope it is better than this.