This third pregnancy has really gone by quickly. I am 30 weeks pregnant this Sunday and REALLY pregnant. As in, HUGE. I walk into doctors offices for work and get the, "Whoa, someone is about to pop!" People are shocked that I still have over two months to go. At night, I choke back stomach acid, roll around in vain trying to get comfortable, and with baby legs stuck in my lungs, I gasp for air like it's my job.
I hit this same wall with Will and Emma, where there still seemed like so much pregnancy left and not enough energy to sustain it. So I know that I will somehow slug it out to the end, but I am getting to that "ready to have this baby" stage.
Now, are we ready for Andrew to join us?
I am not sure you can ever be ready for the metamorphasis required to bring another life into your world, but if getting all of the details prepared helps, then we are on our way to ready.
It helps that we moved and the nursery was just an empty room, that had conveniently already been painted in a lovely neutral brown and very boyish navy blue on one accent wall. We also already had everything; crib, dresser, clothes, etc. It literally took 15 minutes to set up the nursery. So if he was born today, then yes, we would be "ready", but the bassinet and swing is still broken down into pieces in the garage, the baby seat is uninstalled, and we don't have curtains on his windows (blinds, yes). And no newborn diapers. But a quick trip to the store and probably about an hour of getting things from the garage and put together would render us ready.
Will is ready. He actually knows what is coming this time and he is excited! When a baby comes to play, he is all over it! He talks to the baby all of the time and sweetly tells people that, "I turn four in August and my brother is coming in September!"
Emma has no idea what is about to happen to her little world. I have a feeling she will not like giving up her spot as the baby, but I also think she will do all right. When babies come to visit and I give them some snuggles, she protests with a, "MY mama!" as she comes to claim her spot, so I have been working on holding a baby doll and trying to show her that I can hold her, too. But a baby doll is not a baby brother, so we'll see.
I am. . . I am ready, as in I know there is only one way to go from here. I am still a little (Ha!)overwhelmed at the prospect of three little ones, one full time job, and only so much energy in this mama. But I know it can be done because women all over the world are doing it every day. When I was pregnant with Emma, I really was nervous about how I would handle two. What I found is this: YOU JUST DO IT. You don't always do it perfectly, but heck, who is defining perfection anyway?
One of my favorite things to do at night after the kidlets are tucked away, is to stand in the hallway right outside of their rooms. All of the doors are closed, including the one to Andrew's nursery, and I just imagine all three bedrooms so filled with KID and LOVE, and I remember when I faced empty rooms, and all of the potential chaos is so worth it.