Monday, April 25, 2011

Baby, Baby

My sister and sister-in-law are both pregnant. My sister never wanted children until this year, when she got pregnant immediately, but then sadly, miscarried. My sister-in-law married her high school sweetheart, but unfortunately, they divorced in her mid-thirties after having no kids due to some fertility issues (undiagnosed, but they were together over 15 years, 10 of which they did not use birth control and she never got pregnant). She then met her current boyfriend, who already had children from his previous marriage and did not want more kids. Then, she decided that she really, really wanted children when Will was born. Her boyfriend hemmed and hawed and finally agreed, and she got pregnant and then miscarried.

They both now have the same due date, though their pregnancies are very different.

#1: My sister's pregnancy.

My sister is 20 weeks pregnant! And it's a boy! She revealed this detail to my family at my brother's 18th birthday party on Saturday night by handing my mom a basket filled with blue items and calling it her "hostess gift". It was a creative idea that fell a little flat because she hadn't told us that they'd had the anatomy scan the day before. While I got it right away, my mom isn't as attuned to pregnancy things and picked up the pack of blue Peeps and said, "Why would you give me Peeps?" (My mom is very vociferous in her Peep distaste.) My sister got offended, snatched the basket back and told my mom that she is ungrateful. My mom was still clueless as to what had happened, so I had to fill her in. The evening took on a decidedly tense atmosphere after that.

I can kind of see both sides in this one. My mom has a history of being less than supportive when it comes all things pregnancy, and she prefers grand babies to come out minus the franks and beans. However, in this case, I think she was just truly oblivious to what my sister was trying to convey. On the other hand, I can see my sister's frustrations, because I've been where she is right now, where she desperately wanted my mom to get excited, and even after (or perhaps because of) the Peep Debacle, there was just a general sense of "Meh" to the whole thing. My mom eyed her belly and said, "I still think it's a girl." What? Really? Yeah.

#2: My SIL's pregnancy.

Oh, my poor SIL. She really has been put through the ringer on this one. First was the crazy week of you're pregnant! With twins! With high risk twins! Then, the following week, they met with the highest of high risk specialists at UW who told them to terminate the pregnancy. My SIL left that appointment in tears, picturing micro-premies who would never leave the hospital.

After a second opinion and some research, as well as the amnio and all tests showing that the girls are, for the time being, 100% healthy, they have decided to proceed with the pregnancy. She and her boyfriend are getting married on Labor Day weekend and she will go in-patient shortly thereafter with the hopes of keeping the twins in until 32 weeks. Any advice for me on how to best help her with this would be appreciated. She is in relatively good spirits for the time being, but they have a long road ahead.

So, that's where the ladies in my life are with their pregnancies. I am really excited to get to be an Aunt! I love babies, but seeing that M and I are likely done with building our own family, it will be nice to snuggle and love on other peoples' babies now and not have the "BUT I WANT ONE" jealousy that used to eat at me before we had our own miracles.


HereWeGoAJen said...

That's good news. I would like to be an aunt.

AwkwardMoments said...

i wish everyone well

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry your mom wasn't as excited as you would've hoped--my mom can be that way and it's tough! How cool that Will will have another little boy to play with though!

I understand how your SIL must feel. When i got pregnant with the twins they were mo-mo and the doctors were extremely negative. I lost them (though im fairly certain they were conjoined which really complicates things) but found a discussion board that I came upon searching mo-mo twins to be really helpful. I canny bring myself to find that link (I'm sorry I just can't go back there), but if you google it it's not hard to find. I am thinking of her and praying for her. ((hugs))

Joy@WhenDoesDaddyComeHome said...

You could make your SIL a gift basket with things to keep her busy in the hospital - movies, healthy snacks, books, word searches, etc.

Maybe make some coupons like "Good for One Massage" or "Good for a Coffee Visit" or even some for after the babies come "A Day with Auntie" or "DISHES/LAUNDRY COUPON".

I've never been on bedrest so I can't even imagine being on bedrest IN a hospital and not at home. Maybe you could also help her plan and execute nursery ideas unless she is waiting until they are born first to make sure all is well.

Mel said...

Wow! I am so sad for your sister! The reveal is the most exciting part. My mom kinda likes that element herself, and I guess I've just totally come to expect her reactions (or lack their of) to big things in my life. That's what friends are for to me, at this point.

I do hope all goes well with both pregnancies. They are both so blessed to have YOU to turn to!