Sunday, November 16, 2008

Memorial Monday

Okay, so this is my first attempt at making this blog a little more about infertility, loss, and support.

Allow me to sound really conceited for a minute. . . bear with me, the good is coming.

A lot of people follow my blog. Not a gazillion or anything crazy like some of the more famous bloggers get, but I have a decent audience. And you, my dear readers, are the best cheerleaders a girl can ask for! From the darkest days of my IVF cycle to the joyous day that Little Man entered the world, I had you all along for the ride.

An example of the support that I received is this anonymous comment posted when Will was born:

"Congratulations! I have followed your journey for so long now, and as I sit here with tear streaming down my cheeks, I am so happy for you, as I have waited so long to read and enjoy this amazing occasion with you! I am so happy for you all. God Bless your new family."

Can I just tell you how much it means to me that a complete and utter stranger cared so much about my struggles that they had tears? For me? For my lost angels? For our new beginning?

Sure, now that Will is here and healthy, I get a lot of nice comments in real life, even from strangers on the street. But where was all that when I really needed it - when I was miscarrying or going through a bad cycle?

When my angels died, the very hardest thing for me to suffer was the lack of recognition from society in general. In my case, with such early losses, there was no funeral, no memorial service, no obituary. But even having those things doesn't guarantee support. So many people avoid talking about loss. Even close friends and family can fail you. This post from Kathy talks about just this very thing, so I know that it's not just me that has felt it.

What I would like to do is use my blog as a memorial to the lost angels, babies, and dreams that are out there. Even if you have your own blog, this is a way for me to direct traffic your way. And it's not just for those that have lost a baby. Having gone through just a few ART cycles that didn't work and only one IVF cycle that did, I can't imagine how hard it must be for those that have multiple cycles fail. That's a loss, too. Every negative cycle is a loss, in my not-so-humble-opinion.

So, here is where you come in. My e-mail is linked through my profile. Send me your story. You can include whatever you'd like - pictures even! You can write your own entry, or just send me the bare bones and I will write it for you. Or it can even just be a poem, a couple of sentences, a flicker slide, whatever you would like to do to honor your story. If you want people to e-mail you directly, let me know to post your e-mail with the story.

Every Monday, Memorial Monday, I will post one persons' story. This will hopefully help give some tribute to the loss(es) that you have suffered. Even if you already have your own blog, this should help direct more traffice (and more support) to your site. If you are a lurker without your own blog, then this will allow you to get the support that you need without having to set up a site.

And for the rest of you - comment, comment, comment! Let the person know, the same way that you always let me know, that you are there for them! Give them as*vice, give them hope, give them what you gave me - your unfailing love and support!

It might be a total flop, or it might just work. So, starting tomorrow, look for my Memorial Monday post. This is just the first of some ideas that I have brewing. But don't worry, there will still be plenty of updates about Will and mommyhood after recurrent loss!

And don't forget to comment!


HereWeGoAJen said...

That is a beautiful idea! It is so sweet of you to do that.

Katie said...

What a beautiful idea. I've been a lurker for awhile and was so excited for you when Will was born. He is just adorable!

Joy said...

I'd love to participate. I'm pregnant right now. My progesterone started dropping, got on supplements, then my HCG plummeted. We're in limbo, wondering what is going to happen.

I also have another loss, a miscarriage in 2006, at 6 weeks pregnant.

Joy said...

Oh, and I do hope you create a NEW blog for the new chapter in your life, the chapter of Mommyhood, becuase I love hearing about your little man!

AwkwardMoments said...

What a great idea katie.

Polka Dot said...

I think this is a wonderful idea!

Your caring and giving never fails to amaze me - you have such a huge heart.

Anonymous said...

Great idea!!

Amy said...

Thanks Katie for posting this. I think untill today I have no greived over my miscarriage....and you are so right, it is real and it hurts like hell. I cannot imagine what the women on here who have suffered several m/c's feel...all I know is today sucks, tomorrow will be better, but a loss is a loss and that's it. Nothing else to say really acept life does go on weather we like it or not. Give that lil miracle Will a kiss from me!! Hugs!