Thursday, April 5, 2012


I honestly have to step away from my computer a lot. Because when I read things like this blog, it makes me so angry, I see red. It also causes me pain, because it brings back all of the horrible memories of losing my sweet angel babies. It causes me pain, because I can just think of the hurt it must cause others.
I think my real issue with this blog isn't even the content (though that is enough to infuriate me). It is the arena in which it was published. When I was TTC, I turned to many times. I was on their boards a lot. When I finally got my RLB*, I continued to frequent the site. So it breaks my heart to think that someone currently suffering a loss or infertility would read something like this in a place where they had come to find support.
I have contacted (which you can do through this link) and requested that this blogger be removed from their featured blogger program or, at the very least, she be required to print a real apology and retraction (and yes, I know, she already wrote a post in which she stands by her original blog, with some clarification). In the meantime, I will be boycotting the site. I will give it a few days, but if they do not take action, I will also start contacting their sponsors to alert them to that this type of material is being published in this forum.
I do believe in freedom of speech, but I also believe it is a great responsibility that should be carried out with compassion and grace whenever possible. I also fully believe that this blogger knew exactly what she was doing and that she did it with intent (her headline is inflammatory, which she even admits, but notice, does not change and her request for feedback even throws out the acknowledgment that she might be called a Nazi - to be clear, I am not, nor will I consider, calling this woman a Nazi).
In any case, I feel a very deep need to exercise my own freedom of speech and to protect those mothers who have lost a baby (or more). So please join me if you agree.


Anonymous said...

Totally agree. I just read that blog and was disgusted. Babycenter should not be supporting the kind of divisive and completely hurtful comments that Samantha Schoech made about miscarriage. It's quite shocking really that they would allow that kind of inflammatory post to be put up. Thank you for bringing attention to this; I will also contact Babycenter to express my disgust at Ms. Schoech's post.

HereWeGoAJen said...

I've always stated away from Babycenter because I've always found them to use cheap tricks for attention, but this is ridiculous.

cheryllookingforward said...

Oh wow. While I can see her point and I understand it, I totally agree that it is NOT something that needs to be put on a site like babycenter. It is something that doesn't need to be said. "Oh, you're sad? Guess what, here is something sadder."

Like if I say that I'm in pain because I have a sinus infection and someone comes up and tells me that I'm not in very much pain because I don't have cancer.

I'm also going to contact the site and tell friends about it.

It Is What It Is said...

I share your outrage that BabyCenter would chose to publish that as a featured post and the backlash should be as swift as it was to Komen defunding Planned Parenthood.

That said, the blogger doesn't deserve the attention. I say that for two reasons: first, she says she has never watched The Duggars so won't comment on their show specifically and then goes on to um, comment, that they gave her the 'willies'. That is clue #1 to how uniformed and attention seeking she is.

Second, the entire post is based on the wholly inaccurate comparison of an in utero miscarriage to the death of a living child. I find that to be so insulting, so naive, so misinformed, so uneducated, so preposterous that I can't even believe anyone would be up in arms because it is so fucking absurd to compare the two. They are mutually exclusive life events. Yes, I get her intention but talk about hyperbole and exaggeration. Please!
Why can't we have compassion for both scenarios. Why set them up as some sort of pain competition? Please.
How I've coped with or endured 6 1st trimester miscarriages doesn't compare to the parent whose 4 year old child has died of cancer. As a reasonable person I see this.

The premise of her post is a fallacy.

I fully support a campaign to get BabyCenter to see the error of their judgment and a full on boycott of the site if they don't. They should be ashamed of posting something that will be hurtful to the very audience they are supposed to be supporting. Shame on them.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Oh Katie, I am so with you. Boycott, boycott, click away and unsubscribe. They have a right to publish these types a post, but I also have a right not to read them and pull my support of the site. There are people who are going to hear your anger and apologize and there are people who aren't going to hear your anger but will simply keep going with what they want. And I fear Babycenter is the former. They aren't going to change because this pulls in page views. So the way I deal with that is to not give them page views anymore.

cgd said...

Thank you so very much for your sweet comments today. thinking of you so very often (even when I do not comment).

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