Checking My List

So, no labor yet. I really don't expect to go into labor early. I actually would much prefer that he hang out at least another week. Get those lungs nice and ready for crying!

Plus, we still have things to do! We emptied out the nursery closet today (we might be a strong word, the husband took care of 95% of it) and it is now ready for my lovely neighbor to install the organizer.

I have about ten million loads of baby laundry to do.

We still have to return our duplicate presents and buy a stroller.

I have an appointment to have the car seat installed this week.

We want to buy a freezer.

See, all of this really would be lovely to get accomplished before his arrival. But they are the "nice" to get done, not the "need" to get done. And our hospital bag is packed, his diaper bag is ready. I have a feeling he will mess with us and not come until the first week in September.

Patience. . .

OB Appointment Update

Two centimeters dilated, 60% effaced.

I know, I know.

A woman can walk around at that stage for weeks. Months, even.

But it feels just a bit closer to Little Man.

Dr. S said he could feel the head and that he thinks given everything else, it will likely be within a week or two.

I know, I know.

But it feels just a bit closer. And you should have seen the smile on my husband's face.

Wrapping Up Work

So, with the latest development of gallstones, plus the afforementioned pre-not-quite-but-maybe-eclampsia, today is my last day of work. I am just tired, swollen, headachey, and done. My hat is off to women who can work to fullterm. I guess if I had to, I could keep working, but I am blessed with amazing short term disability coverage, so I don't have to push through.

It is a strange feeling to be wrapping things up. And for the next few weeks, not to have anything "to do" is equally strange. Yes, I am growing a baby, and yes, there are still a few projects that need my attention. However, not to balance that between work just seems so foreign.

I have been working since I was 12. That's not an exaggeration. I started a lawnmowing business in my neighborhood the summer after sixth grade. I actually had a pretty lucrative business, doing an average of 15 lawns per week. No, I didn't declare my taxes. Uh-oh.

I also started babysitting that summer, and at fifteen, I was a nanny for a three-month old for the entire summer, 9 - 5, Monday through Friday. At 15 1/2, the legal working age for minors in my state, I got a job at a local burger restaurant. I worked there until I was 18, also working for an insurance agent at the same time and going to school.

I had to put myself through college, so I had three paying jobs during school. I graduated at 20 and started my first corporate America job two weeks later. So, really, this will be my first honest to goodness break in a long while.

Vacations don't really count to me. There is so much stress getting ready for them and coming back from them and I never "let go" 100%. Now, with a six month maternity leave ahead of me, and of course, the life-changing events about to take place, I have a feeling that I will truly be able to let go. At least, that is my hope.

I am having a difficult time letting go right now. I guess that shouldn't be such a surprise, but it really is. Handing over my entire territory, including my customers, to another person is counterintuitive. Plus, in my field, we don't have someone to officially cover us while we are away. My coworker that is graciously covering for me has her own job and her own territory, so it is likely that a lot will get ignored in my absence. I have been scurrying around this week, trying to say good-bye to customers, letting them know how to get ahold of someone if they need help, wrapping up my personal paperwork, etc.

Today, I have a final meeting with my coworker to make sure that she has everything that she needs. And that's it. Over. Finis.

It feels strange and it feels good, all at once. And I know that once Little Man is here, I will be so grateful for the time that I had to relax prior to his arrival. Even more importantly, I will be so grateful for the time that I have to focus on just being his Mommy. That doesn't feel strange at all.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Well, the good news is that it is not contractions causing my pain.

The bad news is that there is a reason and it will most likely require surgery.

I have gall bladder stones. Lovely.

Apparently, this happens to about 2 - 4 % of pregnant women. Gee, guess I am not quite done taking that statistical bullet. Although this is one that I will take gladly, since it doesn't negatively impact the pregnancy - beyond my discomfort, that is.

Fortunately, I am close to term and my doctor does not believe that the stones are infected. So, the surgery does not have to be done now, it can wait for Little Man's arrival. Or, if they suspect that the stones have become infected or the pain becomes intolerable, we can induce delivery as early as next weekend.

The ugly part of it all is that many women in my shoes choose to deliver via c-section. Kind of One Stop Shopping Deal. "Hey, Doc, while you are in there. . . " I wonder if they can do the same type of deal with cellulite?

I am not opposed to a c-section, necessarily, it just brings about some decision-making. Guess I have some time. The doctor did prescribe me pain meds to deal with the discomfort, but so far, I haven't wanted to take any. Now that I know the cause of the pain, it doesn't seem as bad.

The best news of all: I got a quick peek at Little Man. I wasn't supposed to, but the tech felt sorry for me, being hugely pregnant and in discomfort, so she let me have a quick peek. He looks so perfect and so very handsome. I can't wait to meet him!

Hmmmmm . . .

So today I am not feeling well.

It's kind of a general fatigue, despite having taken the day off work to rest and gotten some good naps in.

What I am noticing is this: I keep getting pains in the top part of my stomach, up by where I assume his feet are at. They are not spaced regularly apart, sometimes they seem to come pretty rapidly, sometimes, almost 20 minutes will go by before another pain. It isn't enough discomfort to make me cry or scream, but it does take my full attention. I have had a few at the bottom of my belly, too, but they are mostly at the top. This happens whether I am laying down or moving around.

I don't know whether it's just him, stretching around, or something else - like Braxton Hicks? I have had BH contractions for awhile now and these definitely feel different. I have also noticed that Little Man is not moving as much these past couple of days. He barely got his kick count in last night, which is not like him (but he did get it in, so I know he's fine).

I have consulted with Dr. Google on what a contraction feels like, and there just aren't any consistent answers. I guess I could call my OB, but I feel a bit like an idiot.

Any ideas?

And Now the Fun Part

There have been so many babies born lately! There have also been a rash of good ultrasounds and rising betas! I can barely keep up with my celebrations sidebar! If you haven't had a chance, be sure to head on over and congratulate the new mommies and mommies-to-be!

I was trying to explain to my husband that we are kind of "next." There were a bunch of us infertiles that got pregnant around the same time, me being on the tail end of things. Now, most everyone has had their babies, so it's my "turn" if you will. This both delights and scares me.

I think that I spent so much time thinking about how to get this baby in that I didn't really think much about how to get him out. Yeah. I'm getting a little nervous about how all of that is going to go down.

I am not shy about taking things for pain, so I am not as worried about that as I am about possible complications. I am terrified that something could go wrong and Little Man would be in danger. I think these are all very normal fears in the final weeks of pregnancy. I am also starting to read chapters in the pregnancy books about postnatal recovery and there is a lot that I don't really know if I am ready for!

But, ready or not, here he comes! This month (hopefully)!

I am starting to pack my labor bag this weekend. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

End of the Road?

My feet have been swollen lately.

For the record, my feet don't normally look like this. I usually have ankles. And a cuter pedicure. But that's another story.

Yesterday, at my (almost) 36-week OB appointment, my blood pressure was up. Not dramatically, but over the 15-point rise that can diagnose pre-eclampsia. I had a small amount of protein in my urine. Not enough to get excited about on its own, but enough that, combined with the swelling, headaches, and BP increase, my doctor is a bit concerned.

I am in the strange land where I cannot quite be diagnosed with pre-eclampsia, but I definitely have some warning signs. The most common way of treating this gray area is typically to reduce stress and increase rest. My OB told me to start checking into my pregnancy short term disability leave and that we would discuss my work status at my next appointment, which they then moved up to next Wednesday. In the meantime, I am to get as much rest as possible, with my feet elevated. I am not on bedrest at this point, but it looks as if it might be heading in that direction, or at least to being off of work for the duration of the pregnancy.

This is what I have been waiting for, right?! Well, yes, and in a way, I am relieved. Work has been getting more and more difficult. None of my shoes fit, I am exhausted, and my boss is a stress case.

In another way, though, it feels a bit scary. Work has been my identity for so long. When I was struggling with my miscarriages, at least I felt as if I still had something, even if it wasn't quite what I wanted.

Financially, we won't feel the strain of this extra time off. My company has excellent short term disability coverage and I will be getting 100% of my pay from the time I stop working throughout my maternity leave. Can't complain about that.

But emotionally, it feels weird to think that I am almost done.